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Sleep

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Original poster

How do I get my 3 month old to sleep through?

35 replies

scampadoodle · 01/09/2004 11:18

I know this won't seem like much of a problem to some of you out there, but it's driving me mad anyway!
DS2 is on the whole a lovely, fairly 'easy' baby - much better than DS1. But he is showing absolutely no signs of sleeping through the night, despite getting more than enough food during the day, up to about 10pm (at least 30oz -he's bottle-fed, so I know exactly how much he gets). To cut a long story short, even if he has a huge feed at 10-11pm, he still wakes up at 2ish & then at around 5. The other night he wasn't hungry at 2 & went back to sleep fairly easily & woke again at 6, when I fed him. Last night was back to normal & despite having had 7oz barely 3 hours before, he woke at 1.30 screaming for food. I tried to stave him off - giving him the dummy, water, pats & strokes but finally gave in & gave him just 2oz at 3am. He then went back to sleep quite happily, but only until 5.45. He wasn't hungry then but moaned enough to keep me awake until, as usual, I took him into bed with me in his room (DH is too restless a sleeper for the baby to sleep with us). This happens every night, I'm not getting more than 2hrs sleep at a time & I'm exhausted, especially with a VERY demanding toddler. I should add, having fed in the night, he's then not bothered about breakfast. After his 2oz at 3am he then didn't feed til nearly 9 which suggests to me he doesn't need that early hours feed. I'm so desperate, I'm thinking of hiring a maternity nurse for a few nights to sleep train him as I'm too tired to have the resolve. What do people think?

OP posts:

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motherinferior · 01/09/2004 11:21

I am really sorry, but I honestly don't think there is anything much you can do at this stage. He is too little to sleep train. Babies that age - arrrrggghhh - do wake up, I think, unless you are very very lucky indeed. The only thing I can say is that it does get better, if only because you CAN sleep train in a few months' time if you have to.

codswallop · 01/09/2004 11:22

is he cold?
it was cold last noght i htink his sleep parttern is quite normal for a baby but the fact he deosnt want food when he waskes means he is cold IMO

kbaby · 01/09/2004 11:35

Not much help here sorry. My dd is 3 months old and bf and were still waking twice a night. If im lucky its sometimes once. I have found though that if I dont feed dd and settle her back with a dummy she will wake again in 2hrs time. I'm assuming that this was because the first waking she wasnt really hungry.

TROUBLE1 · 01/09/2004 12:36

If he's losing interest in his morning feed and your've fed him during the night it sounds like maybe he's doing it out of habbit? I would try leaving him to settle by himself. My 4 month old , was doing that when he was ready to drop his night time feed - when he was 8 weeks. As I wanted him to feed well for his 7am feed I left him to settle himself at 4/3am, and after a couple of nights he was sleeping through. I was pretty confident he didn't need food as he was putting on a lot of weight.

spots · 01/09/2004 12:53

sounds like you are going to a lot of trouble to convince him he's not hungry! Could you not make your life ten times easier by feeding him, if he's shouting for food? If a small amount only settles him for a short while I would imagine that was fairly conclusive proof that his tummy was empty and that was bothering him. And would it be a problem if his breakfast was after 9?

Hanna · 01/09/2004 19:06

I had this with both my dd's at this stage and I started both of them on a bit of babyrice at 3 1/2 months, it seemed to do the trick. Do you use a dummy?

lapsedrunner · 01/09/2004 19:52

My ds was the same (& bottle fed) and didn't drop a night feed until well after 6-7 months. Picking uo on the thread about being cold, I would strongly advocate using a grobag. 3 months is an ideal time to start using them and I'm convinved they help with sleep. My ds is now 23 months and is very attached to his. He moves so much at night that if I hadn't used a grobag from about 10 weeks then I'm sure we would have had a lot more nightime waking.

Piffleoffagus · 01/09/2004 19:55

Neither of mine slept through until at least their 1st birthdays... I never saw it as unusual tbh ds woke 3-4 x a night until 14 mth, dd woke 2x a night up to 8 mths then 1 x after that til about 11 mths when she started to sleep through (but not when teething)
Try a sleeping bag if you have not already, some people swear by them, but by 3 mths I was happy if either of mine went straight back to sleep after feeding upon waking...

Twiglett · 01/09/2004 20:07

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Grizzly · 01/09/2004 22:27

Sounds to me like he is a hungry baby. If he's eating as much as 30 oz per day and still waking, he must be hungry. What is his weight gain like? If his weight is within ''normal'' ranges, sounds like he needs the food.

My ds didn't sleep through (ie from 11pm till 6am) till about 8 months old.

Original poster

scampadoodle · 01/09/2004 22:55

Thanks everyone...He's not cold, as his room is very warm & he has a grobag.
Twiglett: he doesn't manage 6 hrs between feeds, but barely 3, except that when he wakes for the second time at around 5, he isn't hungry. It makes no difference at 2am whether I give him half or a full feed, he still wakes at 5 (not hungry but grumpy) & is still not interested in feeding until 9am. I wouldn't mind him feeding at 2 if he didn't then wake at 4 or 5...I can't leave him to settle himself at this time as he will wake DS1, who is perfectly capable of deciding to start the day at 5am. Oh well, sounds like you all think I should put up & shut up so will do.
BTW, when I say I have to take him into bed with me, I mean he has to sleep on top of me which is bloody uncomfortable as he gets bigger; basically the only sleep I am getting is the couple of hours between the late evening feed & when he invariably wakes up at 1 or 2.

OP posts:

Twiglett · 02/09/2004 09:30

message withdrawn

kbaby · 02/09/2004 10:43

I know how hard it can be not getting any sleep. My goal in life has become trying to get dd to sleep through. Im very envious of anyones d's who are. Ive just come to accept that she will when shes ready but in the mean time I keep trying new things in the hope.

lulupop · 02/09/2004 19:14

Scampadoodle, I have a similar situation at home in that DS is 2.8yrs and DD 4 months. Although DS has only recently started sleeping through the night (we made every mistake in the book with him, but his lack of need for sleep is fairly unusual I think). When he was a baby his night feed started to happen around4am, rather than 1am, which really helpd me as I could get a good stretch of unbroken sleep. When this ffed then got earlier again, I knew he was ready for solids. But with DD, she basically hasn't really changed her pattern since birth. Feeds well through the day, goes down at about 7.30pm, wakes at around 10pm and then 1am, 5am, and then in the morning. Between 1am and 5 am I can settle her with a dummy if she wakes. But basically once I go to bed I'm still up every 2 hours or so. It's knackering, isn't it?

DD is 18 weeks and I don't really think solids would help as it's not as though she's ever done a longer stretch of sleep and then cut it back again. I was surprised when my HV suggested solids as I thought they said not till 6 months now.

Anyway no solution I'm afraid but just wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat! And probably just as knackered! I recommend my newly-discovered make-up product: Laura Mercier Brightening Pen. Works wonders with those black under-eye rings

Chuffed · 02/09/2004 20:39

I had a hungry baby (still have) who was waking 4 x between 7 and 6am when she was sleeping 11am to 5 at 6wks old. I started solids at 16wks just a little and it has made a bit of a difference as she only wakes once at 2.30 then sleeps till 5.30. Try giving him water in one of the feeds if you think it is a habit. My dd won't settle for anything but milk.

Bozza · 02/09/2004 21:12

My DD sounds like yours lulupop. In that she started off quite well in the pattern you describe (which after my DS I think is pretty good for a newborn) but has not got better since then. I've had the same take on weaning. She has also recently started moving around her cot more so tonight is the first one in a sleeping bag.

Scampadoodle I know how frustrating it is when they are not hungry in the morning. I always put DD to the breast but really she takes hardly any and the main purpose is to help my let-down so I can express more easily!

Celou · 04/09/2004 14:22

I don't agree with the fact that "4 months is too early to worry about sleeping through the night.".
If the baby is used to waking up for a feed at night, why would he suddenly stop when he turns 6months old? I'm having the same problem with DD (although she's only 8 weeks old so I'm not too worried about it, I'm still gonna try and drop the 5.00am feed soon though). I found she was also losing interest in her 7.00am feed, so what I did is before she went down for her morning nap, I offered her a little bit more of what was left (not the whole thing in case it put her off her next feed), hoping that she gets almost all her daily requirements during the day, and hopefully needs less during the night. Hope it helps (I'm still to find out myself tonight!! ).

Twiglett · 04/09/2004 14:26

message withdrawn

Bozza · 04/09/2004 14:47

Celou DD always needs topping up before morning nap. But don't think it makes much difference to her night feeding. She definitely seems better in her sleeping bag but now its turned warm again not sure what to do tonight. Last night she had a really long feed (1/2 hour) at bedtime so went down at 7.50 and woke at 2.35 and 4 until 7.15 when she was properly hungry for once. While I'm quite happy with this really it makes me wonder if I could have perhaps made her take a bit more at the 2.35 feed.

Celou · 05/09/2004 13:09

Twiglett, I thought it was widely recognized that after 3 months a baby is capable of sleeping through the night, anyway that's what I've read many times, and that's the feedback I got from many other mothers.
6 months definately sounds a bit late as they are normally weaning by then.
Bozza, the top up worked!! She woke up at 4.00am, and only had 40ml from her bottle, then settled back to sleep again until 7.00am.
Hopefully she'll drop it soon!!!

aloha · 05/09/2004 16:04

Celou, some babies simply haven't read the books {grin] - I know MANY babies that weren't anywhere ready to sleep through at 3 months, but were doing so quite easily at 6 or 8 months - often with a nudge through cc.

kbaby · 05/09/2004 21:25

ive tried feeding dd more during the day and it never works. I think during the day shes already full and the last thing she wants is another feed, she refuses to take much. Ive also tried cluster feeding in the evening again without much success. I just hope that weaning at 6 months makes a bit of difference.
DD is 14 weeks and last night we fed 10.30,5.00,7.30

Twiglett · 05/09/2004 22:14

message withdrawn

Chinchilla · 05/09/2004 22:19

I haven't read the replies, so sorry if I duplicate. My ds didn't sleep through until 8 months, and used to wake at least 2 times a night. Not much help, I know, but CC is not even advised until 6 months, because babies cannot hold enough in their tummies until then. Sorry

cab · 05/09/2004 23:08

Scampadoodle - I'm a bit out of touch now with a 4 year old. Might be worth looking at is his day time sleep? Could he be getting too much? Alternatively they apparently don't sleep too well if they're over-tired.
Would highly recommend the first version of Gina Ford's the Contented Little Baby book. Take it with a pinch of salt, but I found it useful when looking for ideas when things were at their worst. Sometimes having a plan, any plan helps - even if it doesn't work you just feel more 'in control'.
Also, could your husband lend a bit more support and do a few nights to help you catch up on your sleep? At the very least he could do the 10-11 p.m. feeds! Don't ask him, tell him you need it for your sanity.
Best of luck

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