Help please

6 replies

Beansprout30 · 14/12/2018 22:31

So I've made a massive rod for my own back and have co-slept with my six month old since she was born mainly before I needed to do anything for sleep as I have a very active toddler keeping me on my toes

Dd has been sleeping on me downstairs and coming up at the same time I go to bed. Well I really think it's time I got her into some kind of routine and I need my evenings back, dh works away during the week so I have to rush bedtime for toddler and park myself down to feed baby to sleep.

tonight I tried getting her to sleep upstairs with the boob and it took 1.5 hours, not a lot of crying just moaning and shuffling round so I think I can crack that bit, however she wakes after 30 mins and will not resettle, not even with a tiny feed she wants full on boobie.

I need to get this cracked as i go back to work in march and I need evenings to sort things I can't get done in the day. Can anyone offer some advice please

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Mamdoingherbest · 15/12/2018 09:25

I have no advice sorry but reading your words are like reading my own! I too have a 6 month old who I've co slept with since born. She's fed to sleep throughout the night. And Tbh I need to do something to change this as she won't sleep for longer than 40 minutes unless she is nursing. She's never had a dummy and I feel like she's getting even more reliant on me as she gets older as opposed to getting more independent. Have you thought about gentle sleep training? I'm considering it as I too have to return to work in April and this sleep set up will not work for us then. I also feel like I disturb my baby regularly through the night as she seems to notice my every move.

SnuggyBuggy · 15/12/2018 09:34

I'm in a similar situation with DD, always kept her with me as per the guidance on babies under 5 months so never really got a proper bedtime routine.

She doesn't like sleeping apart from me, I can sometimes sneak her into her cot asleep but she wakes crying after a 45 minute sleep cycle. Putting her down drowsy but awake hasn't ever worked and no amount of shush patting will stop her crying let alone settle her.

I've done some internet research and I swear half of what I have read tells you that you need to teach them to self settle and the other half days it's developmental so not sure what to believe.

Mamdoingherbest · 15/12/2018 10:55

SnuggyBuggy you're right there's so much conflicting information around. I've always been against sleep training as it seems so harsh but atm I'm getting no sleep and my baby is so unsettled throughout the night she's just looking for naps all day and is fairly grumpy. Feel like I need to do something as it's just not great for anyone right now. And the thought of work in a few months seems impossible! 😔

Original poster

Beansprout30 · 15/12/2018 11:28

Sorry others are in the same position. Last night to get her down initially I fed her in her sleeping bag in a dark room, quietly read her a story, another quick feed then patted and rubbed tummy and brief cuddle when she did start crying. But this did not work when she woke after 30 mins and she got herself in a state.

My first daughter was a bad sleeper too but I used to get up to feed her and then put her in her Sleepyhead and that seemed to help when it came to getting her to sleep alone rather than let her sleep next to me and latch on whenever she fancied. Eventually I had to do controlled crying for the wakenings but she was 14 months by that point and now she sleeps like a dream. I feel six months is too young to do controlled crying for dd2 though, tonight I'm going to do the same for bedtime and see if it's any quicker, once we crack that I'm going to try and do the same when she stirs. I've tried putting her back in her Sleepyhead after a night feed and she will wake after ten mins but I think it's because I go straight back into a deep sleep and wake her from snoring!

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Original poster

Beansprout30 · 15/12/2018 21:15

An update from tonight's bedtime for anyone following, so night two and managed to get her to sleep without boob in about 45 mins, rubbing her belly and ssshing. I knew she'd wake after first sleep cycle so I got back upstairs to catch her when she woke at 45 mins. I rubbed and patted her belly again, she cried for a few minutes then went back off to sleep. Huge improvement as I couldn't resettle her last night

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Mamdoingherbest · 02/01/2019 18:36

So just to follow up on this, how's it all going now?

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