Pick up put down success?

[Scotlandlass]

Hi all

DS is the 17 weeks old, EBF, and quite frankly a terrible sleeper 😫 Wakes 1-2 hourly all night and spends more time asleep on me than in his crib.
Fair enough I realise it's 'my fault' as I feed/rock him to sleep and therefore he can't self settle between sleep cycles...but how the heck do you teach them this skill?
I'm definitely not up for any harsh sleep training methods...and fully accept that at his age he probably still needs 2 night feeds, which I'm totally happy with...but it would just be nice to have a few hours in the evening to myself, or to be able to sleep in my bed not holding him all night 😣
A friend has suggested pick up put down to try and teach him to self settle but avoid any real tears?
Anybody any success stories or pearls of wisdom to share? Xxx

I think this is normal for some babies! I got a cheap ikea double mattress on the floor of DDs bedroom, so I could feed her lying down then slip away. It was a good next step from sleeping on me or in my arms. Joining sleep cycles is something that comes with time, not something taught, as far as I can tell. It's rarely 'your fault', that's just how some babies are! I think most of the time we like to think we can change our babies, but we really should just adapt our approach and listen to what they are telling us. You never know when they might be teething or uncomfortable or just especially anxious one night/week so things do progress then regress all the time...just my two cents worth anyway! Good luck with it

I agree I think?! That's why I've always just fed him to sleep...it feels so natural, easy and so much nicer than the thought of a baby crying or being alone in a cot falling asleep 😕...but then there's the other side of me that feels exhausted, emotionally drained and 'over touched' if that makes any sense at all? Sounds awful but just to have some me time and personal space back for a few hours would be lovely 😊 I also feel a bit 'trapped' as at the minute DH is very willing but basically unable to help!

I found once I could get dd to bed around 6 then sneak away I really enjoyed my evening as if she did wake, it was easy just to lie down next to her and feed her until she fell asleep again, which sometimes only took 10 minutes (no picking up, lights still off, etc.). I just listened out on the monitor then fed her back to sleep before she properly awoke. I know what you mean though, dh can't help much at all at the mo :( I just remind myself that he can make it up when dd is older and not EBF...but the floor bed is great if you've got the room as no picking up needed x

I enjoyed the book 'Sweet Sleep' if you're interested - very gentle and doesn't make you feel like you need to change your approach NOW otherwise you're making your life worse (most other books did that for me!). It's a la leche league book if you can find it...

Sounds like it works well ☺️ Maybe I need to try and master feeding lying down? Never tried tbh! I suppose ideally I want him to sleep in his snuzpod rather than on my bed...but if I practice safe co-sleeping I suppose I might get used to the idea and relax enough to sleep. Its probs safer than sleeping holding him like I do now half the night 🙄😣
I'm thinking at 4months he will be too young to sleep on a Matress in his own room but can see why that would work with an older baby 😬
Thanks for the book recommendation I'll look it up x