Feel like I'm missing a trick - baby and toddler naps!

[Springtimeflowers]

I have two dd's - one aged 2 years, and the other aged 3 months. I'm really struggling with daytime sleeps, and feel like I'm missing a trick!

My baby is too big for the little crib that she used to nap in (in the living room) during the day, so sleeps in my arms. At night she sleeps in a co sleeper in our bedroom, but as she's still so young I don't feel comfortable for her to sleep in there during the day without me there.

My toddler still needs an afternoon nap most days, or ends up very cranky by dinner time. But unfortunately she fights this sleep, and I often have to pop up there.

So what keeps happening - is I nurse the baby to sleep in my arms, have to check on the toddler upstairs, so put the baby into her bouncy chair. While I'm upstairs with my toddler the baby wakes up crying, and I repeat the cycle again and again.

I'm also just generally finding it difficult that my baby sleeps in my arms during the day - as I obviously have a toddler to take care of as well as the home.

She will sleep in the pram if we got out in the morning, but wakes up as soon as we get home. She will also sleep in a carrier, but she's getting heavy now so I can't do it for long.

Please help, I feel like I've got it all wrong! Thank you.

I would get a better sling that doesn’t geget uncomfortable and pop baby in that.

Thank you - I do have two carriers, but DD is a big girl! She is the size of a 6-7 month old at three months, and I'm very petite so really struggle to have her in a carrier too much.

I have a stretchy wrap, but tend to use my soft carrier instead as it's more comfortable for both of us. Is there another type that may work better?

I had a similar age gap. From about 6 weeks, I would put youngest up to nap in his crib in our bedroom. I had a video monitor and I only live in a small terrace house, so usually I spent his nap upstairs playing with eldest in their room next door.

It wasn't really until youngest was about 5 months old I actually got them to sync their naps to the same time, after lunch!

Ah that's a good idea, thanks. It's one of those things I know won't last forever (and I do love the baby snuggles), but it's just not really working out right now.

My husband also works shifts, and is often sleeping in the bedroom during the day time, so that can make things tricky but worth a try!

Try and get them
Down at the
Same time. My baby cot is in our toddlers room and I play white noise and they both fall asleep at the same time. Sometimes I fall asleep with the them which is better again:

Could you get a
Monitor so you could watch them? It would make your life so
Much easier if you could get them to nap together as you'd have free
Time for yourself!

If all else fails I go for a drive with both of them and then pull over and go for a nap myself when they're both asleep

Sending hugs as I know it's hard!

Thank you - I have never had a video monitor, but it may be worth buying one if it gives me some peace of mind.

I am trying to get them down at the same time, but just finding it a bit tricky at the moment! I know it will get easier as my little baby gets older and has a bit more of a routine, I just need to try a few things and see what works.

My two have the same gap and tbh we just all napped (or I watched tv) early afternoon. Dd1 gave up naps at about 2.5, interestingly dd2 never fully gave up naps, she still at 6th takes a post school nap!

A connecta sling might be worth a try, I carry my 17lb baby round in the connecta in the house if he won't be put down and it's very easy.

Definitely get a video monitor though, I wouldn't consider checking on my 2yo dd unless she cried, I have the video monitor downstairs with me if I want to look at her.

Could you nap the 2yo on your bed? Then you and baby also lay down with them?

I have the same age gap. We’ve finally got into more of a routine and it’s making my life a lot easier! Both mine have a 2h nap over lunchtime. I make sure baby wakes from morning nap by 11 so she’s tired at naptime. I put toddler to bed at 12.30 and then she goes in sling and sleeps. This means I can go up and resettle toddler if necessary. I then have 2h to potter about and clean up from morning whilst they both sleep. It does hurt my back a bit after 2h but I prefer that to a tired baby!

Thanks for your replies everyone :).

The connecta carrier is what we have - I do like it but get uncomfortable after a while, plus my baby will only sleep in it if I'm walking around! Also as my dh is often sleeping in our room due to shift work, I can't let our toddler nap in there as she would just wake him up.

I wish I didn't have to keep checking on our toddler in her room, but basically she times her poo for naptime to keep herself awake, but won't tell me she's gone. I have tried moving around her nap so this isn't an issue, but she seems to be purposely timing it unfortunately. A part of me wants to stop her naps, but she just doesn't seem ready yet.

I think a baby monitor with video could work better for naps. Dh has never wanted one in case someone hacked into it and watched, but I really don't imagine that's very likely!

It's so hard isn't it OP? I've got the same gap, baby is 3 months and ds1 is 2 years old. Ds2 is the opposite to ds1 and wants to held all the time, it's just not possible with a toddler around. I settle ds1 first at nap time so he's properly asleep and then ds2 has a feed and nap (and me!) I'm working on a routine so baby is awake from 11:00 - 12:30 so it fits with ds1's nap time. It might be too soon for a routine but so far this seems to work well for us.

At least I'm not alone!

With my toddler I never put her onto a routine, but we just kind of fell into a baby-led routine over time. I've been doing the same with this baby too, but seeing that perhaps this way of doing things doesn't work so well with two.

Could your baby nap in the pram in the house - in the hall, for example? My DD was the same for waking when the pram stopped but I found that if the movement stopped just as she'd fallen asleep, it was fine. If I carried on, even for just another five or ten minutes, I had to keep going or she would wake. So could you rock the pram until she sleeps then stop? And you'd have your hands free then. Just a thought - no idea what the layout of your home is. I couldn't do it unless out because we live in a flat and I couldn't get the pram up the stairs, but I had the odd peaceful coffee in the park!!

Thank you, that may work. The problem is we don't really have a hall so it would have to stay in the kitchen at the back of the house, it could be worth a try though.

@Springtimeflowers I definitely can recommend a video monitor!!
We've got one and my lil one just started to turn around on his tummy constantly and it's great to see what's happening in his cot so we can turn him around or back into a good sleeping position!