My 4 year old gets in to my bed every night and it’s exhuasting us all.

[BethanyRH]

Hi my child since I can remember has always got into our bed, he would make no noise and we wouldn’t wake up just in the morning we would wake and he would be there.

However in recent months he’s started to make a fuss when coming in, asking to be tucked up, if a pillow falls asking for us to pick it up or sometimes singing. After he’s finished fussing he would go to sleep and then wake up as normal around 7/ 7.30 On top of this he’s also now 4 and is getting a little to big to be co sleeping with us.

But it’s now got to the point where we all including him feel tired everyday because of this breaking up of sleep ! I feel so so sleep deprived, slightly headachy daily, I need my sleep.

Any suggestions welcome.

I’ve asked him why he gets in our bed and his answer is “I like sleeping next to you” which I find so lovely but it’s time for me to sleep now and him sleep to for full nights in his own room.

A small makeshift bed on the floor beside ours helped with both kids who went through long phases of this. It meant we all got more sleep (mainly because I wasn’t getting elbowed and kicked anymore!), they were near but the novelty quickly wore off and so it helped transition back to their own beds.

Can you put a small mattress on the floor for him to sleep on when he comes in?

Worked for us although our 7 year old now refuses to sleep anywhere else but he has other problems

I also found being a very non-fun grumpy mummy when I've been woken up too many times solved my 4 year old mucking around. We made sure we had some boring weekends when he messed around too much and some fun ones when he didn't.

We’ve just put a tall stair gate across my son’s door to keep him in at night. Sounds harsh but a) he was waking us up at 4.30am and refusing to go back to sleep b) being a complete pain in the arse once in our bed by kicking us/complaining about pillows, duvet etc c) we were all exhausted and d) I didn’t want him wandering around at night as his door is near the top of the long flight of stairs. He wasn’t a happy bunny but this morning (the 2nd it’s up) he managed to sleep till 6.20am( a record since September!) and was much calmer in his room.

Keep putting him back in his own bed?

We never co-slept but my 4 yo still really needs a morning cuddle or she is dreadfully grumpy. Could you tell him you’ll come and get him at cuddle time, set the alarm for 10 minutes before you need to get up and bring him in for a cuddle. If he comes in earlier tell him it’s not yet time. After a few days he might realise he gets his cuddle but on your terms.

Keep sending/taking him back to his own room.
It'll mean less sleep for a week or so, but he'll get the message.

Thanks for all your replies I used to love the consleeping but it’s just got a bit to much now with the broken sleep. I think I’m going to go with the firm route, Iva just had a chat with him and I’ve explained he needs to sleep in his own bed and if he comes in we will take him back to his bed etc and if he sleeps in his own bed every night until Sunday he can get a little treat for being a big boy, he seems to be okay with it for now I’m just hoping tonight it works 😩

@BethanyRH how is it going? Did you try putting him back to bed each time? My almost 3 year old is the same and I’ve had enough! After Christmas I am going to be strict and insist he sleeps in his own bed all night long...

Happening here too with our four year old. it coincided with my pregnancy so I'm thinking it's because she's a bit insecure but I'm now 34 weeks and I'm still getting pushed out of bed every night by kicking and head butting (she likes to sleep horizontally 😣.) We have a stair gate because her room is near the stairs but I don't really want to use it. We have promised a new lol doll if she sleeps in her own room all night but even that wasn't enough of an incentive!