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Sleep

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Original poster

Battle with two month old at bedtime

24 replies

mummyp33 · 05/12/2018 20:34

Anyone else having bed time battles with their babies??? I have an eleven week old who has FOMO!! I swear. Every time we put her down for bed time, bang the eyes shoot open and crying starts. So the whole process of feeding, keeping upright as she's a reflux baby.. starts all over again.. yesterday she actually fell asleep at half 8 and was in a deep sleep but suddenly woke herself up, then we battled to get her back to sleep.. took 3 hours.. both OH and I were shattered, I went to bed without dinner as was shattered.. and he ate his at half 11! But then she slept all the way through till 6am.. woke up with mega boob's as I usually do 2 night feeds. Today she started showing signs of tiredness at 6.45 so I acted quickly and got her ready for bed.. I'm on my third attempt now to put her down.. she just feeds and feeds and feeds..last night she just vomited all over me because her stomach was so full of milk from various attempts to put her down.. finally got her to sleep by rocking Moses basket. HV said she's just a greedy baby that doesn't know when to stop. The past 3 mornings she's projectile vomited all of her morning feed over us both.. I'm wondering whether it's worth letting her have a short nap at 6ish then letting her have a later bed time.. but then OH will literally get no time together at all.. any advice would be welcome??

OP posts:

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Hangingtrousers · 05/12/2018 20:39

Honestly ...you are setting yourself up to fail.
Stick her in a Moses basket the livingroom and eat your dinner, watch TV and have a evening...feed her when shes hungry... Take her to bed when you go...bed time routines just don't work for most young babies.

Original poster

mummyp33 · 05/12/2018 20:46

That's what we were doing before, but she'd wake the minute the basket was picked up or put down, she was coming up with me at 11.

OP posts:

sauvignonblancplz · 05/12/2018 20:49

She’s far too little to start getting her into a bedtime routine.
She’ll start going for longer stretches when she’s ready, follow her lead. Shes obviously not ready for bed at that time & she’s fretting when you try to leave her.
She’s only 11 weeks old , think you need to lower your expectations of getting your ‘evenings back’ you’re sharing them now with your daughter , relax and enjoy it.
She’ll be up in her bed and you’ll have your evenings back before you know it.

pastabest · 05/12/2018 20:51

Stop trying to give a 2 month old baby a bedtime would be my advice.

That comes when they are a bit older, until then you kind of just have to suck it up a bit that you get no alone time.

Also, just get your evening meal. Why aren't you eating because the baby is awake? There comes a point where you just have to give in if the baby doesn't want to go back to sleep. For me that's after about 10 mins, I certainly wouldn't be faffing on for three hours and missing meals. That's madness!

ItWentInMyEye · 05/12/2018 20:52

Way Too young for a bedtime routine.

ItWentInMyEye · 05/12/2018 20:53

Oops. Meant to add, she might be cluster feeding for a growth spurt?

Kittykat93 · 05/12/2018 20:58

Ours didn't have a bedtime till around 4 months old. I think two months is too early.

autumnleaves19 · 05/12/2018 20:58

Have you got a wedgehog for the reflux? They are fab! Can be bought on amazon or their website

Also, she's over feeding because it's soothing her reflux. Is she on any meds? Get the reflux under control and in my experience, she will settle better. Saying that she still is very young and many many people experience unsettled babies until 3 months or so.

NanooCov · 05/12/2018 20:59

Mine was the same. We used to stick him in the Moses basket in the living room and if he was still asleep when I was ready for bed I'd just leave him in there and snooze on the couch until he woke for a feed, then take him up with me. Didn't last long. I do have a v comfy couch though.

greendale17 · 05/12/2018 21:00

Your baby is 2 months old for goodness sake!!!!

lauryloo · 05/12/2018 21:01

She's only 2 months old. Way too soon for a routine

NotDrunk · 05/12/2018 21:02

I’ve got an 8 week old currently latched on the boob who is quite happy to stay there until the cows come home. We have no routine yet, not like his 2 year old brother and I don’t expect we will for a few months yet. I sleep when he sleeps and I eat when I can.

Matilda1981 · 05/12/2018 21:08

I’m gonna go against the grain and suggest a routine! My dd (11 weeks) has been having a routine for the last 2/3 weeks now and it has proved really successful. Her naps during the day are a bit hit and miss (it depends what we’re doing and she has to revolve around the school run) but I don’t let her nap much later than 5pm (this is the only time of wake her from a nap bit now she’s been in the routine for a couple of weeks she wakes between half 4 and 5). She naps in the sling as my other two have their dinner while she naps. I then feed her, she has a little play and then I bath between half 5 and 6, then give her a little moisturising massage and then get her ready for bed. I then take her upstairs, put her in her sleeping bag, feed her and then put her in her cot. The first couple of days it was hard work getting her to go to sleep (she has FOMO syndrome too!) but then it got easier and she didn’t take too much rocking/walking about, then it got to a stage where I could put her in her cot very dozy and she would go to sleep, now I feed and wind her and put her in her cot with Ewan on and she falls asleep herself!
I think she really likes the routine, my first did as well, my second wasn’t bothered tho. They are all different but I would try it and see how you get on!

WakeUpFromYourDreamAndScream · 05/12/2018 21:17

It's normal life with a baby OP. There's no training a 2 month old I'm afraid

WakeUpFromYourDreamAndScream · 05/12/2018 21:19

Oh and you and OH don't get 'time together' when you have a newborn. You are being very unrealistic OP. You're setting yourself up for failure and misery trying to establish nap times and bed times with a newborn baby! Ridiculous

TulipsInbloom1 · 05/12/2018 21:23

If she wakes at 11pm when you take her upstairs isnt that a good thing? Can do a good feed then and put her down again when you go to bed.

Topseyt · 05/12/2018 21:30

When mine were that age they were usually still downstairs with us until we went to bed. Often they were dozing in the pram, then would be given a late feed (they were bottle fed) at maybe around 11pm and then put down in the cot. They would often sleep for a good stretch then and that worked for us.

8 weeks is rather young for the rigid bedtime routine you are trying to impose. Relax a bit.

Ohyesiam · 05/12/2018 21:33

She’s too young for a bedtime routine

ajw88 · 05/12/2018 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

mummyp33 · 05/12/2018 22:17

So before I get slated any further.. a bit more background.. HV suggested starting a routine because LO was first of all not sleeping at all. Day or night! Its only in the past couple of weeks she's taught herself to nap in the day time and she's doing v well and having 2-3 naps per day. When LO was downstairs with us in the Moses basket and woke up when I went up it would take a good 2 hours to resettle her.. she wasn't sleeping again until 2am sometimes. She'd only sleep for another hour then be awake again until morning. so we've tried that and everyone just ends up getting upset. HV suggested the routine which we are only following loosely not rigid times. I go by when she starts to show signs of tiredness like I mentioned in my original post. Also, OH leaves the house at 05:30am and doesn't come back till 7/8pm sometimes when I'm already upstairs with LO and he doesn't disturb her as he knows how long it takes to settle her so I can easily go 2/3 days without seeing OH as he's also sleeping on the sofa.. I'm not saying I want my evenings back!!!!!!!!!!!! LO is also a colicky baby so evenings are constant crying until she goes to sleep.

OP posts:

Original poster

mummyp33 · 05/12/2018 22:22

Also, as I'm regularly told.. every baby is different so what will work for one won't for another..

OP posts:

sauvignonblancplz · 05/12/2018 22:37

I think you could ask for a second opinion from a different hv, some of their advice can be outdated .
Sorry if it came across as slating, just trying to reassure you that baby sleeping in any kind of pattern isn’t something that can be forced and for her to be unsettled is normal and sometimes when you have that reassurance you can relax and accept it, rather than be concerned something is wrong.
Is baby breast or bottle fed? If bf are you maybe eating something that is aggravating her?
Often the more stressed and tired we are the more baby responds to that in a negative way, try and get as much rest as you can and if any one can come and help while baby moves through this tricky phase do take advantage.
It is just a phase, it will pass. Just keep saying that on repeat. Baby wearing is also very helpful for a baby with reflux.

zzzzz · 05/12/2018 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NameChange30 · 05/12/2018 22:51

Listen to autumnleaves, I was going to say exactly what she said, don't know if anyone else posting has had a baby with reflux but everyone else seems to be ignoring that crucial piece of information in their replies.

You need to get the reflux under control, but tbh a reflux baby that is sleeping through (even if they do take ages to settle) is a fucking miracle. We were on hourly wakings for months.

Have you ruled out CMPA btw? Can be a cause of reflux.
www.allergyuk.org/information-and-advice/conditions-and-symptoms/469-cows-milk-allergy

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