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Original poster

Difficulty Sleep training and ? Hating swaddle

15 replies

MKJLShan · 02/12/2018 15:37

Hi, I would really appreciate advice on what to do with my DS. My DS is 5 months now and since a month ago has been having problems sleeping at night. Most likely sleep regression. He would sleep fine at 7.30pm, falling asleep himself while in the cot, then exactly 30-40minutes later would wake up screaming. Initially we thought it was a phase and tried to wait it out. We pat him and held him for 3 hours (I would feed him every hour and check his nappy), sometimes he would just be smiling, then he would scream and finally sleep 11pm. Unfortunately, this carried on.

I looked through the discussions on Mumsnet and I read a few sleep training books, which gave me a bit of hope but now I’m just confused. We finally decided to sleep train, and tried gentler appropach as he is still swaddled. The pick up/put down method irritated him more, leading to more screaming for 2 hours, then tried to sit with him until he slept, but he just kept looking at me and smiling, wide awake. (for over an hour). We finally decided to do CIO which was traumatic at first (cried for 2 hours and a half) than he got better and now only cries for 30 minutes. But now another problem occurred.. He screams when I swaddle him as he loves to suck his fingerrs/fist. Also 30 secs after swaddling, he gets his hand out and start sucking it again.
(Even tried double swaddling) Last night decided to leave one arm out. He sucked his fist/finger for 3 hours without sleeping. He was wide awake in the crib happily sucking in fingers and flailing his arm. When I went in he just smiled at me and continued doing his thing. By 11.30pm, he was still awake. I then swaddled him and put in him grobag and pat him to bed.
His naps are also now suffering because he keeps struggling with the swaddle and sucking his fingers which is suppose to help soothe him but is currently just keeping him awake. (Before this he was able to sleep on his own once I place him in the crib sleepy)

What should I do? I’m not sure whether to stop the swaddle all together but then he keeps sucking his fingers and staying awake. He also flail his arms about and rub his eyes during this time. And if I do stop the swaddle, how long will it be before I expect him to get use to it?

Should I do CIO without the swaddle?
Should I continue with the swaddle and try to double swaddle.

Really sorry for the long post but I’m really concerned over the amount of hours he is sleeping. (Before this he was on a rough schedule that was working well for his naps, but his bed time got worst. Now his bed time improved and his naps are getting worst). Any suggestions or advice would be really appreciated!

OP posts:
Amirite · 02/12/2018 15:47

Sorry but I would personally not sleep train a 5 month old. What you are describing is pretty normal stuff at this stage, you’ll have to ride this wave until it’s over I’m afraid. Have you tried a dummy?

Nothisispatrick · 02/12/2018 16:04

5 months seems old for a swaddle, I thought it was for new borns. We’ve taken dd’s arms out of her grosnug and she’s only 9 weeks. If he likes sucking his hands maybe he’d have a dummy?

Original poster
MKJLShan · 02/12/2018 16:07

Also forgot to mention he usually takes naps lasting 40min to an hour 10 minute depending on how tired he was before the nap.
I have decided to try out the Woombie convertible swaddle.. is there any alternative swaddles? Tried Love Me swaddle, DS dislikes it. Seems to frustrate him and can stop the startle reflex.

OP posts:
Original poster
MKJLShan · 02/12/2018 16:11

How long should we ride it out for? It’s been 5 weeks since it happened. We just started sleep training this week. And carrying him doesn’t seem to make a difference. Have tried the dummy but he spits it out and doesn’t sleep with it. It as working initially but then he decided he didn’t want it.
I carried on with the swaddle because he kept waking up with his startle reflex.. should I just stop it then?

OP posts:
ExpectingToFly · 02/12/2018 16:14

Someone sent me a sleep program they had paid for the other day. it's brilliant with detailed plans and notes that will help you. pm me and I'll email it to you if you like

Thesearmsofmine · 02/12/2018 16:18

I don’t know anyone who swaddled a baby play 5 months, I never swaddled my children at all. If he doesn’t like it then use a sleep bag.

Please don’t let your baby cry it out for 2 hours, that is cruel. He is too young for sleep training.

silkpyjamasallday · 02/12/2018 16:22

I think he is too old for a swaddle and too young for sleep training, and personally I feel CIO is cruel. You just have to ride out sleep regressions and accept that they bring changes, they don't just go back to exactly as before, it's part of a learning curve. The sucking his fingers and staying awake sounds like he is hungry, depending on how you are feeding him I would adjust the schedule and try to get more feeds in during the afternoon and early evening to get a solid first sleep cycle when he goes down.

Original poster
MKJLShan · 02/12/2018 16:35

Thanks for you replies..
We only decided to do CIO because the other methods made no difference And he wasnt sleeping enough. It improved the number of hours he slept at night. But now he wakes up because of the swaddle and his need to get to his hands....Will try to get him out of the swaddle and try to feed him more..

OP posts:
Original poster
MKJLShan · 02/12/2018 16:57

Just to clarify, I didn’t leave my DS alone to cry for 2hours, I went in to pat him (gradually extending the minutes each night)and reassure him but just didn’t pick him up.

OP posts:
Thesearmsofmine · 02/12/2018 17:00

How has leaving him to cry it out worked when he still cries for 30 minutes? You should not leave a young baby to cry for prolonged periods of time like that.

Thesearmsofmine · 02/12/2018 17:01

X post, that isn’t CIO. Even so you still shouldn’t be sleep training a baby at icy a young age. Babies go through phases with sleep, it is normal.

userabcname · 02/12/2018 17:27

Is he teething? You say he's sucking fingers - is he super drooly? Rosy cheeks? A dose of calpol might help?

Original poster
MKJLShan · 02/12/2018 19:00

I kept wondering as well.. he is drooling all the time...more than usual. But I can't see any lump on his gums..I'll probably try Calpol.. is there anything else if it's teething?

OP posts:
MrsL2016 · 02/12/2018 19:16

Teething powders and gel are good. We give this before bed and helps to get him off to sleep. My DS started teething about 4 months but no teeth came through until he was nearly 8 months. Cam your DS roll over? You are supposed to stop swaddling once a baby can do this for safety. I would agree with PP about just going with the flow sleep wise and doing whatever works at this point. He is still really small and things will change constantly.

LipstickTraces · 02/12/2018 20:17

I would strongly recommend you buy yourself a copy of The Gentle Sleep Book by Sarah Ockwell-Smith. Your baby sounds entirely normal and his sleep is not a problem to be solved.

He’s too young for sleep training. In fact imo he’s be too young at any age. It is cruel and CIO in particular is barbaric and has no place in the way we treat our children in the year 2018.

Sleep trying is all based on the myth of self soothing, which is in itself a lie. Babies and toddlers brains are not developed enough to self soothe. raisedgood.com/self-soothing-biggest-con-new-parenthood/

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