Front sleeping newborn

[Straightforwardplease]

My dd is nearly 6 weeks old and has been a terrible sleeper from day one!
She has never spent more than 20 minuets in the Moses basket, she will occasionally stay asleep if transfered when asleep but will wake almost exactly 20 minuets later and will then be a nightmare to settle again. (I’m wondering if she has silent reflux!) We used to cosleep safely but now she will not lie on her back at all and will only sleep on my chest but as I’m very petite and she’s quite a chunk already she’s now easily rolling/sliding off and I wake up with her to my side and panic and then can’t sleep again! So now the only way we both sleep is for me to roll to my side when she’s fallen asleep and hold her on her side but I’m terrified she’ll suffocate on me!

But here’s the thing, she will sleep perfectly happily on her front... but I’m too worried about the increased risk of sids to let her (although I know I’m hardly sleeping safely at the moment!) so I’m wondering if it would be okay to let her sleep on her front if I use an angelcare movement monitor? Has anybody else done this? And if so, what age did you start?

If you let your newborn sleep on their tummy please reassure me because I’m shattered and constantly stressing about how she sleeps, I spend all day dreading bedtime!

Sorry- I can't offer any advice but wanted to say that I'm in the exact same position. My DD is 4 weeks and won't sleep unless on me and hates sleeping on her back. I'm utterly exhausted and keep trying to find different ways to get her to sleep but nothing will work.
Hopefully someone will be able to offer you some actual helpful advice (that I can pinch too!)
I completely sympathise with you- it's so hard work! Hopefully we will find something that works for us and we can get some well earned sleep! X

We went through something very similar with our DD2, and in the end did resort to tummy sleeping at about 5 weeks. I also feel incredibly nervous about it so bought one of those angel care mats that alarms if they don’t move for 15 seconds and it’s been great. Gives me peace of mind.

At the end of the day lots of people will say don’t do it, your crazy to increase the risk of SIDS but then again many on Mumsnet advocate cosleeping like it’s risk free. I work in the medical profession and have treated more than one newborn that has been found unresponsive after cosleeping, none had happy endings. So cosleeping is my red line that I would never cross. I think a baby on its own in a cot is far safer in any position than bed sharing.

At the end of the day you have to make your own decision, but if you do cosleeping or tummy sleep then just try and make it as safe as possible.

Best of luck

In your shoes, I would assess the risk of each option and go with the one that is lowest. So having baby sleep on tummy in their own cot with a sleeping bag and no loose blankets is safer than sleeping on you and you falling asleep then sliding off you in the night. It is also safer than you staying up all night and being tired to the point you can't function or drive safely the next day. However, safe co-sleeping with risk factors minimised (baby on back, mum breastfeeding, no loose covers or pillows) is safer than baby on tummy - this doesn't seem to be an option for you right now though.

To reassure you, me and my siblings all slept on stomach as they were the recommendations at the time - we are all fit and healthy today with children of our own. I have 3 friends that openly admitted to having baby sleep on their stomach from day 1 too and their babies are all over 1 and fine too. Ultimately, the risk of SIDs significantly higher than sleeping on back but as an overall risk, it is still pretty small but you need to be comfortable with that.

On a separate note - have you tried a good, tight swaddle? It is the only way I can get my 8 week old down at night on his back. It needs to be tight enough that they cannot wriggle free otherwise they will keep fidgeting and wake themselves up from that.

If you suspect reflux you could try a reflux wedge in her Moses basket. And there are some bedside cribs with a recline feature (Next2Me and Cozee I think).

My son had silent reflux which turned out to be down to CMPA. He was always happier sleeping on us. He has a wedgehog in his cot now.

Buy an angel care Matt ! Life savers

On offer at M&P

This may also help for back sleeping

Ds1 was a nightmare, no matter how many times I rolled him back onto his back, he would roll straight away to sleep on his front..we had the angel care mat..really wish I had known about the sleepypod..got one for ds2..it's a life changer! Can't roll at all, and feels so secure and safe!

If you decide on a pod, please get one of the ones that are sold here like Sleepyhead/Purflo/Poddlepod as they have undergone vigorous safety testing. The ones made out of unknown materials are the reason for the infant deaths in the US and the FDA warning that followed.

Saying that, even the UK ones are not formally approved for overnight sleeping but as I said in my earlier post, it is about minimising risk and what you are most comfortable with.

Sleep deprivation is a killer. You already know your current sleep situation isn't safe but have good suggestions from PPs. Swaddling (safely, with hips free to move) can make a newborn feel snug and secure. We used a Miracle Blanket for our newborn and it made a huge difference. Likewise propping the head end of the cot will help for reflux.

How long after she is asleep do you transfer to the Moses basket? Have you tried using your top as the sheet so she smells something familiar? Or sleeping with the sheet yourself for a few nights first?

I know it's tough but the guidelines exist for a reason. Anecdotal evidence such as "me and my mates were ok and we all slept on our fronts" is not how or why statistics and safety guidelines are drawn up. The Back to Sleep campaign has saved thousands of babies' lives through back sleeping.

I haven't used the angel care monitor but please, if you do, know that it does not reduce the risk of SIDS, it may simply alarm you if there was a problem. I have no idea of their accuracy, and would feel very reluctant to rely on one to be quite honest.

Do you have a partner who could do shifts with you? The newborn stage is so hard but it is not forever and things will improve, honestly. It is completely normal for a newborn to only want to sleep on mum or dad.

Thank you everyone! I have tried raising the mattress in the Moses basket but she still wakes after 20 minuets. I could give swaddling another go, I havent done it myself properly but I had a grosnug which she didn’t seem to like and would just wriggle in it!
I’ve now ordered an angelcare monitor from amazon (there was one half price at the moment!) because ultimately I do think that she’ll be better off sleeping on her tummy in her cot than how we are at the moment!

Anecdotal evidence such as "me and my mates were ok and we all slept on our fronts" is not how or why statistics and safety guidelines are drawn up.

Just to be clear, I was explicitly clear that the SIDs risk is significantly higher than back sleeping but the overall risk still needs to be put into context (hence quoting a few real life cases I know of). For example if risk on back is 1 in 100000 and risk on stomach is 12 times higher, risk on stomach is 1 in 8333, which may still be acceptable to some and not to others (Note I have made up these figures so please look for the literature to find the actual risk).
The risk of co-sleeping when upright and baby falling off is still going to be much higher than stomach sleeping which is why an informed decision is essential.

I agree about AngelCare; I feel they are a waste of money and set of more false alarms, scaring Mum and waking baby than being helpful. We also use miracle blanket for swaddling and it has been a major game changer - I just wish I knew about it 2 years ago when I was struggling with my eldest.

OP, I followed the principles from the book Happiest Baby on the Block for getting mine to sleep from 2 weeks onwards. It relies on the 5Ss - swaddle, side, shush, swing, suck. He doesn't take dummy so we skipped the sucking but I would also pat him while he fell asleep. Once asleep, I would move him onto his back.

I have since gradually reduced the swinging so I now swaddle him, put him on his side (with one hand putting weight on his tummy so he gets pressure like he's on his front) and pat until he falls asleep them move him onto his back. I recommend googling the method if you really want her sleeping on her back but it has taken a lot of patience (with co-sleeping thrown in on the worst nights) to get to where we are now

I’ll google the Happiest baby on the block now! And I’ll try properly swaddling too, out of interest, has anybody used the grosnug and found it useful or not?
We have the six week check next week so I’ll ask the gp about reflux and see if she is suffering from reflux but I’ll keep the Moses basket raised until then!
I think I’ll keep the angelcare because even if she’s on her back in her cot I think it’ll give me a bit more peace of mind.
I really really don’t want to put her down on her tummy but I also really can’t carry on as we are!

Sorry riddles26, my comment wasn't aimed directly at what you'd said, and I agree with everything you say about weighing up the risks.

Straightforward we used a grosnug but preferred the miracle blanket. We used it with his arms by his side - I felt almost mean at first as it was a bit like a straight jacket but actually it calmed his startle reflex very well and he never once moaned or kicked up a fuss and settled very well in it.

Thanks Fireside Treats, I just wanted to clarify that as I agree we shouldn't make such a decision based on anecdotal evidence alone but equally, can get so caught up on the (well publicised) risk of stomach sleeping that we unknowingly result in doing something which has even higher risks

OP we also started with Grosnug but found a lot more fidgeting. The book I mentioned above advocates tight swaddling with arms down but we couldn't get it to work consistently with a sheet, especially in middle of night when exhausted, so we invested in Miracle Blanket. TKMaxx occasionally have them in stock at brilliant prices (we got it from their website) so worth checking there if you do choose to buy it

Unfortunately, getting your baby to sleep on its back is only part of the issue - the part that it suits government and industry to push. The other issue, which is still causing baby deaths is the interaction between chemicals used in UK mattresses and moisture - pee, vomit, sweat, etc. Despite manufacturers, for example, promising to stop using antimony in mattresses back in the 90s, they are still using it in mattress covers, and it gets out quite easily. Then it can mix with a natural fungus that develops in damp conditions and produce stibine gas. Yes, a baby sleeping on its back is less likely to inhale this gas because it's heavier than air; but it's still a risk.

I recommend seriously considering buying mattress products that do not contain any flame retardant chemicals - either research 'organic' UK mattresses (you'll have to press the makers, however, for the full truth about what goes in their products) or buy from outside the UK. The EU does not have the overly-stringent mattress flammability laws that lead to the use of toxic chemicals. You can legally buy over the internet from the rest of the EU - check out companies' websites for their use of chemicals; Sweden and Germany in particular are opposed to them.