18wks, won't sleep before 10pm ....help!

[Dylsmum]

My DS is 18wks and will not settle before 10pm he naps at 9am for 1.5-2hrs, then in the afternoon for no longer than 45mins, although i am working on this.

He used to have bf then bath, but the bath would stimulate (for at least 2 hrs), rather than settle so I changed to bath then bf. Now he hates the bath he previously loved because he is hungry.

I have started to Bf at 1730-1800, bath at 1800, DS stimulated by bath until 2030, further bf at 2030 before bedtime shenanigans of milk, more milk, and more milk, patting and shushing and bouncing endlessly, if DS, me and DH are lucky, DS falls asleep (probably on boob) and has to be (tentatively) maneuvered into his cot. He then wakes at 2300, when DH and me go to bed however quiet we try to be.(DS shares our room. DS used to have a dreamfeed at 2300 but since he has started falling asleep on the boob at about 2200 we did not want to disturb him. Well Ds wakes somewhere between 23-01 at which time I exhaustedly take him into bed to co-sleep and feed which he does on and off throughout the night

I have no idea how to get back to settling at 8pm (or pref 7-730ish) as DS just does not seem tired and my brain just can not function anymore

Any suggestions greatly welcomed as HV coming on Tues to counsel in CC, and although i do not really understand the process i am not sure i am happy about the concept. Help, help, help!!!

Ok, this is going to be a quick reply, and so will prob seem a bit superficial, but.... if the bathtime is causing a prob, dont bath him every day! He doesnt need it to be clean. Bath him every few days, and try doing it in the morning, if he's going to be a water-wakes-me-up baby. Give him his milk. Put him to bed. If he wakes when you go to bed and wont settle, feed him a bit omre. Or try varying your bedtime to see if it helps; he might just naturally be in a lighter sleep, so senses you coming in more easily at that time of night. Also, its only a few eeks till be 's old enough to be in his own room safely as per recommendations.

Is he overtired if he only naps for 45mins in the afternoon?

DS (14wks) won't settle after bath and bf if he hasn't had a late afternoon nap around 4-5-6pm (basically I get him to wake up around 2hrs before I want him to settle for the night, if that makes sense) Even a 20min catnap helps. If he doesn't sleep between say 3.30pm and bedtime he's a nightmare. I find putting him in his sling while I'm making DD's dinner helps to settle him.

I personally think he's too young for CC. I don't like it fullstop, but even the advocates don't recommend it under 6mths

I was always under the impression that cc did not really work before 6 months old anyway or that it might work initially but when you might need to try it again they don't fall for it. Things might get a little easier when he is moved to his own room. I agree with mustrunmore, vary your bedtime, it might just coincide with a light part of his sleep pattern. Try to be strong and religiously put him back into his cot if you don't want to co-sleep.

At 18wks our ds stayed up with us and went to bed with us. We put him in cot at 7-8mths and did CC for a couple of nights, but he seemed very 'ready' at that point to go to bed on his own. I wouldn't worry about it, tbh, it sounds normal. My ds was still waking 5 times a night for feeding at 18 weeks! Some people are all sorted into a routine, but not sure that is for all babies, so at this age I'd just go with the flow and keep co-sleeping.

Thank you all, your support and advices is warmly received. I think I shall follow my instincts and avoid CC, was not aware not to do it until 6mnths.

I agree with Merry, I would just go with the flow and see what happens. My ds used to wake every hour for an hour so I know that it is hard and exhausting. I never pushed a routine, I fed on demand and eventually he was sleeping 11 or 12 hour nights.

Mustrunmore is right. I think we bathed ds every 5 days or so at that age. I wouldn't be beholden to some kind of feed-bath-bed routine.

18 weeks is still only really little (much too little for CC, I agree) and the settling thing might well not come for a while. We have never got ds (now 2) off at 7, or even at 8. (But he does sleep through now, and no longer falls asleep on the breast). It's just th way he is. I'd rather have less of an evening and be able to sleep uintil 7 or 8am than have him in bed at 7pm and up at 5am, tbh.

Hello darling, he's very young to be going through the night. He (and you) are doing terribly well anyway.
Maybe you could try a bath in the morning rather than at night?
Also, It may not be what you want but co-sleeping gets you through the night so don't think it's necessarily a bad thing
I think whatever gets you through the night is a good thing personally!
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