Sleep training six month old

[Sleeplesshopeless]

DS is six months old and hasn’t got sleeping back after the 4 month regression. He wants to feed to sleep every time he wakes and often he wakes every cycle all night.

I can’t cope with the lack of sleep. I’m getting more and more stressed and upset and panicky. I really really don’t feel safe co-sleeping or having DS sleep on me in our bed.

We’ve started trying controlled crying, since he’s cranky and miserable and crying all evening while we try to get him to sleep anyway.

The thing we’re struggling with is: he knows bedtime is unpleasant. He can’t be put down calm and relaxed and drowsy: the bedtime routine gets him worked up because he doesn’t want to go to bed, and as he gets more overtired he gets more worked up. He’s been like that before we started CC by the way.

How can we teach him that sleep is good and safe? How can we calm him? As he gets more worked up I do too, and I’m sure he picks up on that and makes a vicious circle.

Oh I was in your boat and it's horrible. We did Ferber CC and it worked to stop the breast sleep association. How long have you been doing CC?

Some babies will always cry when they’re tired and before they go to sleep, even if they can self settle.

CC should work well. Remember it’s 5 minutes of constant crying before you go in. Only go in for up to 1 minute, it’s just to let them know you’re there, not to resettle them.

Good point from Robin. My DS loves his cot, no sleep associations, etc but he still cries at about 50% of put downs. Apparently I was the same as a baby, fought sleep every time.

Thank you both! This is night three, and I did manage to put him down calm and drowsy, but ten minutes later he started crying and it’s still going half an hour later. At what point do we give in and say This isn’t working? I don’t want to hurt him!

Don't let your baby cry for 30mins without intervention. That's not controlled crying and it's not helping him feel safe.

Poops, sorry o wasn’t clear. That’s not thirty minutes ofbeing left to cry! That’s thirty minutes of every so often DS starts crying and at five minute intervals one of us goes in to reassure him.

Ive heard that night 3 can be the worst. How was last night? Per Ferber, which we did, the wait times should increase each time. E.g. first wait 3mins, 2nd wait 5, third and subsequent 8. I'd recommend having a good quality book that will explain the rationale and sleep science.

I have been doing CC for 2 weeks. I've read it can take up to 4 weeks to work and some nights DS slept through! But some nights he still wakes and can't self settle so it's still a matter of waiting for it to work. I was like you and at my wits end as he's almost 6 months old and nothing would work to help him to sleep after the 4 month regression. I tried everything and nothing worked so it was my last resort and I hope I don't jinx this, but it is doing something! I follow the Ferber method and go in after 5 minutes and leave it a little longer each time and I always stand out in the corridor so I can hear him but he cannot see me. I go in and give him his dummy each time and sometimes give a gentle pat on the head to reassure him but I feel it's the kindest way for him to settle himself. Night times were and still can be awful - constantly up and down to him and I was finding it very hard to function during the day then I felt guilty as I didn't want to go out as much or do much during the day! Now, every nap time is in his cot and he has an early bedtime. Make sure you keep it consistent and do plenty of research so baby doesn't get too distressed, but my mum did CC when I was a baby as I was a bad sleeper and it never did me any harm good luck!

I did sleep training with my baby at about 8 months, after I realised that he was still wide awake at every night at 11pm and I was absolutely shattered. When the midwife suggested it, I was horrified and I sat on the staircase listening to him cry for 4 hours, going in every 10 minutes, laying him back down and not making eye contact. I felt like the worst mum in the world, however, my husband insisted that we persevere and by night 3, my son laid himself down after 20 minutes crying and slept all night. On night 4 he didn't even cry. With my second son, I did this as soon as he moved into his cot and I never looked back. Good luck and be strong

Thank you all! We’re following The Happy Sleeper book - that’s constant five minute intervals for reassuring. It seems to be getting worse not better though! Are we hurting him?

I felt like this - I had a few rough nights, then he slept through for 3 nights (12 hours!) then snapped back into his old ways! I was worried I was doing the wrong thing but I have tried absolutely everything possible to get him to sleep and it's the last resort. I'm still doing it and hoping one day he will happily settle himself and sleep will improve. Keep strong!