Bay not sleeping through night - need help!

[jjf]

Hi all

First post on this site, so go easy. I am looking for some advcie with my
first ds. He is 5 months old, and we are having real trouble settling him
during the night. He will normally awaken at around 2:30 to 3:30 from say
8:30pm, he will then take about 3-4 oz of milk and go back to sleep, then
wake again at 5-6am. This will be him up.(milk is the only thing that settles him through the night).

I have read all about controlled crying, but am apprehensive as he has been
teething since April, still no teeth! Which leads to my first question: is
controlled crying an option when a baby is teething? The worry now is that
because he is teething, that feeding him during the night will lead to him
associating that with going back to sleep, when I doubt he is really that
hungry. He feeds and sleeps well during the day and goes down himself at
8:30 pm. I will be firm if I have to, but he seems in pain with his teeth.
Although I do think he is playing me sometimes.

This has been going on now for weeks, but am unsure what to do now? Any
advice appreciated.

J

I hate to say it but for me that would be a really good nights sleep!!!!! It is really normal (so I have been told) for lo to not sleep through the night until they are at least 1 or 2 yrs old. There is so much going on their development - teeth, rolling, sitting, crawling, walking, becoming more independent etc etc.

We had terrible problems with sleep (hourly wake ups if sleeping at all) and did not want to do CC so the health visitor leant us a book called 'Teach your child to sleep' by Hamlyn. It has lots of different options and information and we chose the 'gradual withdrawl / retreat' method. It has certainly helped us (although not perfect yet)

I would wait until he is at least 6 months when he is more unlikely to be hungry and then maybe try and reduce the amount you feed him by a small amount every two nights. You may then get a feel if he is really hungry or just wanting the comfort. You could also work on the settling without milk. We started off rocking him, then holding him in our arms, then holding him when he is lying down, to then sitting by him, or any other gradual steps work for you

I personally would never do CC but you have to do what is right for your lo.

I personally wouldn't do CC at that age (don't like the idea at any age tbh, but just my opinion)

DD was the same at 5mths (had only slept through a couple of times before then) - I did gradual withdrawal, took much longer, but without any crying . I spent about a week rocking her back to sleep rather than breastfeeding to sleep, next week just holding her in her cot til she fell asleep, next week just sitting in chair... Cracked it in less than a month From 7mths she hardly ever woke during the night (once every couple of mths max) and is still the same now at 3

Ds wasn't a very good sleeper - still isn't good at settling himself. But when it was approaching my return to work, I used to time how long he was going in between feeds and then try to settle him back to sleep if he woke within that period.

So, if he went for four hours one night, then I'd try to settle him if he woke less than four hours from his last feed. When he went five hours, I'd try to settle him if he woke less than five hours from his last feed, etc. We did something called controlled comforting where you swaddle the baby and then turn it on its side so it can't make eye contact with it and pat its back. Within a week, it made a huge difference to how often he was waking...

Re: teething, tbh, if you think it's teething, give him some calpol at around 22h to get him through the night. I wouldn't do cc during teething because ds is always so much more clingy and I feel it would be cruel. He tends to get four teeth at a time and it takes between 6 to 8 weeks of disturbed nights before he sleeps through again. I figure you just have to wear that. It's not their fault and they're probably in pain...

BTW, 3-4 oz of milk doesn't sound like much so maybe he's taking it because of habit. Perhaps try reducing the milk by 1/2 oz every three nights to get him off it?

jjf, your ds is 5 months old, takes 1 night feed
and then resettles until 6am?

That sounds pretty excellent really!

Is he formula fed?

Much as I am comfortable with CC -
can you live with this for another month or two?

Just to have that peace of mind that the crying
is not hunger nor teething.

Once you are definitely sure that he is not hungry
I agree with posts below to first try the limited cry
/ no cry options. There might not be any need for CC
as he seems to be a fairly good sleeper already!

I'd definitely give him a few more months before trying to get him to sleep through. It sounds as though he'd doing really, really well (I know, it's hard to believe when you're being woken up at night, but I can promise ou that things could be sooooo much worse - I was up 6 times a night with DS when he was 17 weeks old, and we continued with that until he was 23 weeks.)

You never know, he might just start to sleep through himself in a few weeks. I'd definitely leave it to him for the moment - given that he's doing so well, it would be a bit harsh to do CC to try and get him to be even better. And so far as I'm aware, most of the sleep 'gurus' don't recommend CC under 6 months anyway.

Thanks for all your replies and I do feel much better hearing what you have to say. I was questioning it mainly due to people saying DS should be sleeping through the night by now but I am happy to keep going along with things just now but I will start trying to maybe cut down on the milk through the night and see if DS still settles back to sleep (he is formula fed now). I will try the other ideas once I know what's happening with the teething!!

Thanks again for your advice!!

jjf, don't listen to what other people say there are no 'should be' when it comes to your baby as they're all different. It really cheeses me off when people tell you that your baby should be doing this or that because they're putting unneccesary pressure on you.

Babies sleep does seem to go a bit haywire at that age so if you can just try and ride it. It does get easier and personally I'm of your nights. Could you little man have a word with my 10 month old?

Just to echo what others have said - sounds like your DS is a pretty good sleeper - if my 6 month old DS slept like that I'd be a happy woman!

thats a great nights sleep
Gecko is 5 nearly 5 months and after sleeping through (8 hours from about 8pm then a feed and another 3 hours of sleep) for about 2 weeks she has started teething and now wakes every two hours after finally managing to settle her at 9ish

Thanks again, it really does sound like he's sleeping well when I hear what you all have to say. I will stop listening to others so much when they say your baby "should" be doing this!

I just have to persuade DS to like his savoury foods more now!

my DD2 is 19m old and i would be happy with that.

jjf, have you thought about baby led weaning? Check out the weaning pages. Mine would never take anything savoury off a spoon but happily stuff handfulls of brocolli, carrots etc in herself.