Nightweaning/stopping bfing 14mo - sleep advice!

[Littlepies]

Hello wise MNers,

Baby has been fed to sleep since born and although I reduced day-time breastfeeding at 12 months, I am looking to stop completely and was looking for any advice at how I can do this gradually over the next few weeks?

During the day, she naps from being in the pram or the car, but at night, although I’d say we have a solid bedtime routine of bath, pjs, quiet book, she will not sleep unless she is fed and then will wake up 8+ times a night for a feed. We co-sleep so it’s easy enough to give her a nipple and doze off again.

Where on earth do I start? There’s so much conflicting advice!

So as not to drip feed:

• nap times are not consistent, usually two hours a day split over two naps;
• she goes to nursery three mornings a week- apparently she will sleep alone for them on a mat but not quite sure how;
• when I’ve been away (a wedding and a hen do), DH has had a really rough time of it and she’s not slept much hence wanting to do it gradually.

Any suggestions/links much much appreciated!

Are you going to continue to cosleep or move DD to own room? It must be easier when in a cot!

No advice I’m afraid as stuck in the feeding to sleep phase as well so folllwing with interest

I would prefer her to be in her own cot but can cosleep if that makes it easier for her! When I put her down in her cot she just instantly cries!

OMG! This was me with DC2. After never having a problem with DC1, deapite doing everything else ‘the same’ with the second one. DH tried to help, and failed because he was ‘Funtime Daddy’ so DC just wanted and expected to get up and play with him, and with me they just wanted to breastfeed and would become incandescent with rage if I tried doing anything different. It got to the point at 14 months where I was constantly getting ill, my hair was falling out and i’d lost weight.
DH decided to see if getting a sleep nanny in would help. Tbh initially I felt like i’d failed so utterly hated the idea. But the one we found was just amazing, she was calm and gentle and sweet to DC, and she taught them how to resettle on their own at night. She came for 5 nights (I think from 9pm-7am) and changed the habit/routine we’d got into. Admittedly she was bloody expensive, but looking back it was the best money we spent and she was worth her weight in gold!! DC2 did wake 3 or 4 times that first night, but she wasn’t who they wanted and within 2-3 mins had gone back to sleep. Second and fourth nights DC only woke once and again didn’t want her so hid face in the mattress while she stroked their back and shushed. And ta dah by some witchcraft the reset button had been pressed and (with a couple of one offs with teething and illness etc) we haven’t looked back. That particular DC is now 3.
Affording a night nanny might not be affordable for you, but perhaps there might be a friend or family member who could come and gently teach your LO how to get through the night.
Best of luck OP.

Google Dr Jay Gordon, he's excellent.