So please tell me how you got through the 4 month sleep regression

[MarmaLaid]

Or as I’ve read not really a regression but hey ho, you know what I mean!
So when baby wakes up every hour or 2 throughout the night, how do you deal with that?
How long did it last for you?
Did things naturally improve or did you have to instigate a method/ routine?
I’m fully aware I’m over thinking but my brain desires some comfort in knowing when things might get better (albeit until the next thing)

For us it was one hardcore night with her waking every 25 mins and after that she settled back down very gradually into longer sleeps again, but all in about 2 weeks ish of rubbish sleep. It will settle without changes to routine etc I imagine but I know that won't help while you're in the middle of it. Much sunnier baby on the other side of it though - good luck xx

I've been on 1-1.5 hourly wake ups for the last 2 months since ours turned about 3.5 months. Before that he was sleeping through (8-9 hrs at a stretch!)

You just adjust to be honest. It's been tough sometimes but I think my body coped by dropping into deep sleep very quickly inbetween wake ups.

The first couple of weeks I felt a bit desperate but, once I let go of the hope of getting lovely long sleeps, it's not actually been as bad as it sounds.

Are you breast or bottle feeding?

I'm breastfeeding and since the sleep 'regression' we've been cosleeping (he was in side sleeper cot before). We set up a safe cosleeping position (no duvet or pillows near his head) and now, when he wakes I slide him over, feed then slide him back. Neither of us wake fully so it is not too disruptive.

I did consider sleep training but I thought I'd just try to ride it out and it now seems to be slowly getting better, in that I'm now getting one or two 2-3hr sleep sessions or night. The baby is 5.5 months old now so I'm hoping this is the start of an aural improvement.

No magic bullet to help I'm afraid. Just thought it may be helpful to share my experience. I'm lucky though as he will drop off v quickly after a feed so no extra rocking, winding etc which would definitely take a toll.

The last couple of months have not been sunshine and rainbows by any means and there have been many instances of 3am crying and swearing but weirdly I will miss the multiple nightly snuggles when he's sleeping better.

I'm sure you've already heard this but one theory is that the 4month regression is more accurately a progression from baby sleep patterns (basically they're either 'on or off') to a more adult sleep cycle (waking every 90 mins or so). The sleep regression is just them needing to work out how to link up the sleep cycles.

I expect there are theories on how you can get them to link cycles more quickly. I'll be v interested to read if sleep training or anything else has worked for others as we're not quite out of the woods ourselves yet!

*natural improvement not aural improvement!

Thank you for your input Norbert and polestar, really interesting to read others experiences. I guess I won’t inow what the next few weeks or months will bring. Guess I’ll try ride it through like everything else!

My babies are 15 and 13 now so old advice I appreciate but the regression you describe was explained to me by my midwife as hunger! That's when we started baby rice and weaning. Problem solved. I understand babies don't go on to solids until 6 months now but is it worth discussing with your HCP?

My DS is 21 weeks and has been going through this 'sleep regression' since he was 13 weeks. I have tried everything and anything over that time but nothing has worked. I think it's something you've just got to ride out and wait out.

Interesting to read your experience polestar - we're about a month in (think it started at 14 weeks and he's now nearly 18 weeks). I'm still in the desperate phase! Last night was lowest point so far - though DH has taken DS (and a load of expressed milk) to his parents for the afternoon so I've just had a two hour nap and the whole world feels a bit brighter now. I got to a point where the sleep got really on top of me at about 6-8 weeks and that passed so I hope this does too! Part of what happened there is that my own sleep adjusted - I find it really hard to get to sleep but then sleep very soundly when I do, which is a pretty terrible combination for having a baby, as it turns out (I thought I'd be good at the sleep deprivation stuff because I often survived on 5-6 hours sleep before having him, but turns out I was very dependent on that being unbroken sleep...). I eventually got so exhausted that I was going to sleep fast, then he started sleeping much better and I got out of it. I could never, ever nap in the day before DS so I'm obviously getting near to that point of absolute exhaustion, any sleep will do...

I find it hard to feed at night every tome he wakes up because by breasts get too full of milk and it hurts! I’m not in the mood for pumping at night and the more he sucks at night (mainly just to self soothe) the fuller and harder my breasts feel. I also wake up fully every time and the by the tome I finally fall asleep he wakes up again..

One child it lasted several months.

One child it lasted several years.

Bloody kids

Child 1 it lasted until he was about 2.

Child 3 just coming out of it at 22 months.

Child 2 done and dusted in 3 weeks.

I thought I’d cracked it with number 2. If I’d realised I hadn’t there may not have been a 3...

When people say it lasted years, do you mean until they started sleeping through, or that they were literally waking every one to two hours through the night for years? If the latter, how do you do it? I don't know if I'm just really shit and weak but it's taking such a toll on me - I feel tearful today, and I know I'd feel better if I went out and did something but I just feel like I can't even get dressed. We had a good night on Sunday (two wake ups - I have absolutely no expectation or hope that he'll sleep through, but a four hour stretch as opposed to a two hour is absolutely transformative) and on Monday I was such a happy, interactive and proactive mum; I got so much done. But already after two nights of wake ups every hour to hour and a half I'm back to feeling awful; I thought I might be developing postnatal depression but Monday proves I'm actually just tired, I feel great when I sleep!

Oh dear you are telling my story word for word - last week I fed only twice a night and the next day I felt like the world had become a much better place. Unfortunately though it was only one night :(

I just can't help but feel like it's unfair, even though I know that's a stupid and pointless way of looking at it. I feel like we're both getting so short-changed - I am so much better as a mum when I get some sleep and I feel guilty about how crap it makes me. It feels like such an effort to talk to and sing to him today, on Monday it just flowed in a natural, peppy way.

I'm in the same boat and so relieved to hear I'm not alone. I started co sleeping a week ago to try and get through but it's killing me. LO is EBF and won't take a bottle or a dummy. So now we're co sleeping every time she loses her dummy (me) she wakes up screaming. She's latched on pretty much all night and it's driving me to distraction. Last night she woke every 45 minutes. I can't sleep as I'm constantly waiting for her to wake up and evenings are shot as she's waking throughout the evening. She's 5 months and I just hope something changes soon. With DD1 moving her in to her own room made the world of difference but I'm nervous of doing this with DD2 for some reason. Oh and I also feel like a rubbish mum to both of mine as I have no energy for either of them.

Sorry to all those in the same boat x

Totally agree, there must be a solution to this!

So as I've commented before, my DS has been going through 'sleep regression' since he was 13 weeks (he's now 21 weeks) and I have tried everything! I've done so much research and absolutely nothing has worked. I just want him to sleep.
I've also been having major trouble getting him to sleep when he initially goes to bed and this was never a problem. He would also wake in the night and not know how to get back to sleep! The only option I hadn't tried was when I had fed him and put him in his cot for bed, I put his dummy in and leave. I thought this was going to be an awful experience with a screaming baby, but he cried a little, spat his dummy out a few times (I went in to put it back in, it soothes him) and would leave again and he gave up waving his arms about and settled off on his own accord. I stood in my doorway the whole time - I could see him but he couldn't see me.
During the day when he was due his naps I also put him down in his cot and did the same routine.
Last night was the first night I got him to self soothe and the night time was a complete change. He woke at 00:45 and was chatting away, but settled himself back off and then woke at 4am and did the same and soon settled himself back off. He then woke for the day at 6:45 when previously its been 5:40am every morning. This might have been absolute fluke, but I'm hoping it wasn't, but all I know is that I didn't have to do a night feed or get up 50 times during the night!
Tonight he went down in less than half the time it took him last night after 2 days of naps only in his cot and each time he settled himself.
I know it might not work for every baby and I may have a bad night tonight with him, but it certainly did something last night.
I've heard self soothing is key with sleep regression? Either way, good luck. You're certainly not alone!

Cosleeping.
Coffee.
Cake.
Cursing.

Good luck!

Cosleep Cosleep Cosleep...Safely of course

Unfortunately DS already self settles himself for sleep without us in the room (at night - he won't do it for naps, though to be honest I haven't given him that much chance because so many of his naps are when we're out and about so he just snoozes in the pram), which makes me desperately hope it is a stage as all the advice is about not feeding to sleep, etc. which we already don't do (though he is fed back to sleep in the night, so maybe that's the issue?)

He sleeps in a next to me cot (one of the ones attached on the side of the bed) and I'm not willing to have him in the actual bed because while I think people can cosleep safely I don't think I can - when he was in the bed I woke up with my back to him so I don't stay in that 'safe position' they go on about, which terrified me

I don’t find co-sleeping helps at all, my son is almost 7 months and is becoming more mobile and throws his arms and legs when he’s awake at night thus punching me a lot if we co-sleep; plus this way I feel every single move and sleep even less. He wakes up the same amount of time if he’s in next to me or co-sleeping. Also before he used
To be able to fall asleep in the pram; not any more - only at home, which means that whenever he’s sleepy I have to rush home cause he just cries in his pram. I wonder why and how I can change that. And also, how do you teach self-settling? Mine just cries up if I give him less attention leaving him to self settle

My little one was sleeping in a napping chair with me downstairs and it's so lovely and snuggly, but I've decided I need to get him used to going in his cot for a nap (I also don't want grandparents having an issue with getting him to nap when I go back to work, so if you can put him down in his cot and he will settle himself, that'll make life so much easier!)
Co-sleeping isn't for everyone, I've never done it and I hope I never will! There have been many times I could have snuggled him into bed with me and my partner and easily got a good nights sleep, but he's got to sleep on his own at some point and I'd rather tackle that now than when he's older! Also, I'd be terrified of rolling onto him in my sleep or my partner who throws himself about the bed during the night
My little one does sometimes cry when he goes in his cot but I never leave him long, a few minutes and I keep popping my head in to see how he is and he does give in and settle. I know a lot of people don't agree with self-settling and leaving them to cry or whimper, but I ran out of options and he's only getting bigger. If he can wake in the night and be able to settle himself back off, that'll hopefully solve my night issues.
I can't say it'll work for you, it probably won't work for me, this is my 3rd day of trying it, but it's probably worth a go if you can do it
And for the record, my mum left me to self-settle and she said I howled, it never did me any harm and I became a good sleeper!

I'm not sure whether you can change those things! I think to an extent they do what they do. We were incredibly lucky with DS self settling at night, he just started doing it with no intervention from us - we've never left him to cry. We somehow shifted from the bedtime routine ending with him being rocked to sleep to it ending with us singing to him in his cot and then leaving while he's awake and I'm not quite sure how it happened. He might yet stop doing it though! I thought he'd lost the ability because there was a week maybe two weeks ago where he cried a few minutes after we left each night and so was rocked to sleep, but this week (touch so much wood!) he's gone down by himself without fuss every night. But then goes on to sleep terribly!