Newborn staying with grandparents

[AshBluex]

I have a gorgeous 2 week old DS who sleeps well through the night, but since delivering I have been absolutely exhausted. My partner has been amazing at allowing me the time to nap, but we are both dead on our feet.

DP's parents have offered to have DS overnight and for me and DP to stay there too to ease the separation but allow us good rest.

Am i a bad parent for considering leaving my little boy so early, and will it mess his routine up? I'm so torn and emotional from both tiredness and guilt for feeling like I need a sleep.

Thanks for any and all advice xx

My DD first slept out when she was 10 weeks (I was breastfeeding up until then) and it was a nice break. Dont feel bad, one full nights sleep can really make a difference to how you feel.

At 2 weeks old he wont have a routine so i wouldnt worry about that. My DD loosely started a routine at 12 weeks.

Depending on what your DPs parents are like though, dont be pushed into them having your DS all the time (a problem I have with my MIL)

I looked after my 10 day old gd overnight so that her mum could sleep. It was a lovely experience, and the first of many times. We are very close now, she is just 7, and she is sleeping over tonight.
Mum was very grateful and no problem with her routine.
Enjoy some rest.

As you are staying as well I think it will be fine. Enjoy the rest.

Also congratulations.

You'll all be in the same house, it's just they're looking after the baby in the night? Not a problem for you to do this at all. We did it with my first, my MIL and daughter only in the next room, and I felt so uncomfortable doing it because I felt like I shouldn't need the help, but I felt so much better the next day after having a good night's sleep! Go for it xx

www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2018/02/Infant-formula-and-responsive-bottle-feeding.pdf

The Unicef baby friendly initiative suggests that most feeds should be given by primary caregivers in the very early days.

Having a newborn is exhausting and I can see that this would be a tempting offer; perhaps PIL would agree to bring little one to you for feeds and they could do the settling / nappies / pacing about to allow you as much rest as possible?

Going forwards, I found spending time with my baby was the least tiring thing because it was what I wanted to do - it's all the other life crap like laundry and cooking and online banking that was exhausting, so I'd outsource as much of that as possible instead.

Congratulations on your new baby!

Do it. No harm will come to your baby from one night apart from you. Get the rest you need. Enjoy it.

DSis had DD when she was 6 weeks old for 1 night. She was FF and was absolutely fine, and I had a lovely sleep. Enjoy it, you won't be leaving her anyway!

Do it! It’s one night and will make all the difference to your mental and physical health. Baby will be fine. Even if they are a good sleeper, the anxiety of knowing they will wake up at some point and you have to deal with it, means you never really achieve a good rest.
Also, don’t push your in laws away, when the novelty of a new baby wears off, you will be so glad they have a close bond and you can have a night away every few months!

If they could stay at yours or you at there's so you are there too? I understand the sleepiness, we are 8 months in and I haven't slept more than 3 hours, it is definitely draining and if you need a break you should take it as a happy mum = a happy baby

My baby GS stayed with me from very early days. He's now 5, sitting on my knee playing with lego

That's nice of them! Yes I'd rip their hand off lol! Just make sure they don't do anything you're unhappy with like co-sleeping or whatever

Definitely do it! It’ll be great for you to have the rest! Plus the grandparents will love it

I used to co-sleep with dgs in a double bed. He slept well but I didn't! Nothing wrong with co sleeping. He's in a bunk bed now.

If your baby feeds every 3 hours it's probably a max of 4 feeds (and more likely 3) that you will not be giving, so I don't think you should worry about the UNICEF suggestion.

I'd grab that offer with 2 hands!!

He's not going to have a routine for months yet so don't worry about that. You just have to get through the first few weeks as best you can!

Take up the offer of some rest.

The best thing for your baby is to have parents who are able to care for them. If you are both exhausted, you are not able to care for yourselves and that will impact on your baby. If you were my DIL, I'd say the same. You and Dh will still be doing the care and feeds the rest of the time. And it won't be forever.
FWIW, we had to look after our newborn dgs when his mother was seriously ill in hospital for several weeks. Trust me, the only effects were positive. DIL knew she could trust us to look after him as she wanted, her recovery was not impeded by the stress of worrying about her baby, dgs was well looked after by people who love him and we built an amazing bond with him. Luckily, DIL and I get on very well - why wouldn't we, we both love the same two people and we don't see it as a competition between us.
Go for it OP. Enjoy your sleep!

Thank you all so much, I know you all make brilliant logical sense but mummy brain and guilt is awful! I just want to be the best mum and i do feel like a rest will help me and DP be better for little one in the long run.

I keep thinking DS will think I have abandoned him it's horrible, but I dont want to be exhausted and not be able to care for him correctly.

Thank you all so much, I feel a lot more comfortable and confident thanks to you all😊

The unicef stuff is a suggestion. That's all. It's not the law.