Broken and need help

[redfragglebiker]

So my 11 month old has always been a shit sleeper. She's breastfed and she'll usually feed to sleep in the evening. She's currently waking up every couple of hours and it's killing me. DH takes his share (probably more than his share tbh) of wake ups but I can't continue like this. I go back to work in January and I have no idea how I'm going to cope. I'm already exhausted to the point of being regularly in floods of tears. No family close enough to help out either.

No-one?

It will be hard but I would try to stop feeding to sleep as this could well be the reason she is waking up so often. Babies who can self settle will do so on some of their night wakings whereas your DD, the minute she stirs will be after the boob for comfort and to get back to sleep.

Have you tried offering only water in the night when she wakes?

Ineednewshoes, any idea how we get her to self settle? Unless she feeds to sleep or Dh rocks her to sleep she just screams when out in her cot. We tried the shh pat method but she just stands up and screams and screams so it was a non starter.

I'm currently on day two of "controlled crying". Read the post "how do you do controlled crying?" on here. We are having great success after two nights and crying has been minimal. My baby got herself to sleep for first time. It took 18 minutes. It has taken 2 minutes ever since

Controlled crying.
You'll get criticised by some, but if you aren't coping then it's something to consider.

Could you consult a sleep specialist? There are ones who consult over the phone for £40-£70. We consulted one and it was some of the best money we ever spent. The one we spoke to used gentle but firm methods to get their sleep on track.

Also - that’s such a hard time, 11 months. When you’ve had that many months of broken sleep you do feel like you’re cracking up. When my son was ten months old I remember feeling angry and upset all the time, I’d burst into tears at the drop of a hat. It is so tough being that sleep deprived

OP I'm in the same boat. There has been a lot of developmental changes in the last couple of months and it's showing signs of slightly improving (still waking up kids though) but I've just been hoping to ride it out. It's bloody tough though, I screamed at my dh at 3 am today.

I'm going to start sleep training I think, but want to wait until this developing spurt has settled a bit. He's also been teething on and off for months so hoping they actually appear soon. I have an older child and it impacts on everything!

In the same boat here too if solidarity helps?! Thingymaboob - how are you doing it? I am beginning to think we are going to have to sleep train before I go completely crazy with sleep deprivation!

I looked up "Jo frost controlled timed crying technique" but instead of the timings she uses I decided I would just add two minutes each time. I went in after 2 mins, 4 mins, 6 mins and was planning on going in at 8 mins but she fell asleep at around 6 minutes. More moaning rather than crying. It's been very good. She settled herself for her after noon nap. Only been doing it for 2 days. Amazing.

Thank you, that's amazing! My DS 12 months just gets so distressed so quickly that at the moment even 2 minutes seems a long time but I think we need to start trying something, we are already on his third wake up