Sleep training - night-time awakenings

[mimosaic]

DD is 6.5 months and we've been doing sleep training for two weeks now. It's a form of controlled crying suggested by a sleep consultant.

Whilst she is now really good at settling at bedtime, she still wakes up every 2-3 hours during the night and can take a while to settle back down. DD is EBF and the sleep consultant and I agreed allowing a feed every 3 hours overnight was fine (and more than enough - the consultant initially said just 1-2 feeds overnight). If she cries before a feed is due, I apply the same sleep training method as at bedtime.

My question is, for those who have done sleep training, how long did your baby take to sleep well in the night and not wake up so much? I'm not talking about sleeping through - I wouldn't dare be so optimistic - but just not waking every 1-3 hours and taking up to 30 mins to settle back down, during which time she's crying or shouting.

I know many on MN do not support sleep training. I've researched this a lot and it's the right thing for my family, so please don't feel you have to comment just to educate me. Thank you.

I used a sleep consultant and she recommended two dreamfeeds and not feeding at any other time in the night. I fed my son at around 11pm and 3am. I EBF. He never woke at any other time, then at around 9 months I dropped the second dreamfeed with no issue. At around 12 months I dropped the second dreamfeed. This was very different to my first son who woke sometimes hourly until around 13 months. Both boys are now great sleepers.

Just realised that doesn't answer your question but might be worth a try. Not sure how baby is to know when they will be fed or not when they wake up and the above method worked great for us.

Thank you @Allboundformoomooland that's useful. So with your second son, by dream feed do you mean he never woke up at all for them? I have the same thought as you - how is the baby meant to know when the scheduled feeds are?

With your first son, sounds like it was more challenging. When he was waking hourly, did you apply the same sleep training methods for each wake-up then? Did he learn after a while?

I sleep trained using a consultant when slightly younger (PUPD rather than CC) and she recommended to allow a feed if 5 hours had passed since the previous feed, otherwise to settle back to sleep with sleep training method. Within 10 days, she was doing a 6-8 hour stretch after going down at the beginning of the night which increased to 8-10 hour stretch around a month later.

As I sleep trained before weaning and she was ebf, we weren't ready to drop night feeds. As sleeping through the night wasn't my aim with training, 5 hours was recommended rather than dream feed/waking for a feed

Thanks @riddles26 for your perspective.

Can I ask, how was your baby's sleep before sleep training? Did they quickly learn not to cry before 5 hours had passed? I feel like DD just isn't getting that I'm not going to feed her more than every 3 hours! It's been 2 weeks and she's still waking in the night more than she ought to...

I should say, I don't apply sleep training to naps as I feed DD to sleep for these. Maybe this is the issue?

We were on 20-45 minute wake ups most nights and no naps all day prior to sleep training so was pretty horrific with a very overtired and cranky baby.

It didn't take her long to sleep longer than 5 hours but sleep consultant gave me a daytime routine for feeds and sleeps too. Sleep training and following the feeding schedule taught her to take full feeds less frequently rather than snack on and off every hour or so which benefitted hugely. We did apply sleep training for naps and nights too. What did the sleep consultant advise for naps?

The sleep consultant said to apply the same thing to naps ideally. So put down in cot and leave the room, and only go back in to comfort if crying exceeds a certain frequency or volume. The same approach as for night-time basically. But if no sleep after 30 mins then I have to sling her to sleep, as naps have an expiration time.

Is this similar to what you had to do? I haven't followed this because I felt I'd end up slinging for every single nap, plus day-time naps aren't the problem for us, it's the waking up every half an hour at night. So is this where I'm going wrong then?

I'd love to hear your experience with naps @riddles26

I was given the exact same advice in terms of expiration time and using movement to sleep for naps by my sleep consultant. She also advised to have 3rd nap in pram or sling as it didn't fall in a biological sleep window so would be harder to achieve in cot.

No napping from 8 weeks old was the main reason I resorted to a sleep consultant so I followed the same method for 2 naps plus nights and it did work. Occasionally woke part way through long nap and needed to be resettled but one month post training, we were in a good place with sleep (albeit housebound initially!)

@riddles26 you must've been walking LOADS at all hours in the first few weeks then for naps? This is the bit that seems unrealistic. DD is up at 5/6, so nap 1 was suggested for 6.30/7.30 - am I to head out in a sling at that hour daily for two weeks?

Oh no, I think I haven't explained myself clearly. So I walked loads for first day just to make up sleep debt so she was no longer overtired when we did our first night training, then I started PUPD for morning and lunchtime nap. There was just one occasion where I had to walk for one of these naps, all other times, she responded to PUPD and even when she woke part way through nap, I would go back to PUPD. Her nap times were 9am and 12pm then 4pm. I walked or bounced on a ball for 4pm nap for the entire time she had 3 naps a day but that was just 15-20min catnap so achievable.

I used the term dreamfeed but he was awake so he had a good feed. I guess more waking him to feed. With my first I did controlled crying at around 13 months when I gave up breastfeeding. He never took a bottle and wasn't bothered about cows milk so I felt comfortable doing that. Techniques for settling without feeding are patting the chest and raising their feet. I used that a lot at nap time and never left him to cry. If he did wake early eg in the morning or during a nap, I'd always wait 5 minutes before going in.

I've not heard patting the chest or raising the feet before. Did that help? With your trickier first son who woke up sometimes hourly, how many days of sleep training did it take before he responded and stopped waking so much?

I hadn't heard of them either but they worked. First son was about three nights of controlled crying. They say most changes in habit, routine etc take 3 days. Day time routine is key too, and the consultant advised on that. If I had my time again I'd have contacted a sleep consultant with my eldest as no sleep for over a year was dreadful. My big mistake was feeding him every time he woke, hence the very different approach with number two.

Maybe I need to just bite the bullet and do the sleep training for naps too.

I knew that feeding to sleep every time she cried was a bad idea, but honestly in the early days what else could I do? We had a colicky baby who cried and cried and only settled during feeding. Sigh... fingers crossed any future baby/babies will be dreams in comparison!