Anyone just not napping their baby?

[Rosesared]

So my dd is 5.5months old, sleeps on average 11hrs at night, no problem. The problem is nap time...I reckon my neighbours are on the verge of calling ss as it sounds like I'm beating the shits outta my baby the way she screams come naptime. I've tried Huckleberry, shhpat, rocking her, leaving her...we're lucky if we get 1.5hrs in the day. Usually get 1x40mins after 20minutes screaming and 2x20minutes. Also no pattern to her daytime sleep. Sometimes I get fed up and decide to just skip the nap after howling...30seconds later she's gurgling happily on her playmat like nothing happened.
1st, is 4.5hrs too long awake time for a nearly 6month old baby?
2nd, what would happen if I just don't nap her...unless SHE shows signs, like yawning, staring and rubbing eyes. Which she does do, now and again. In which case, I put her down, she mantras for 10minutes and blissfully drift off!
Confuckulated, I am!

My DS has never napped the recommended hours. He would only ever nap for 1/2 hour until he was about 10months old and then it stretched out. Just do what works, if she's sleeping at night it must be working for her

My daughter would never nap in the house. Only in her pranks, being pushed along a road: the noisier the better!! I guess you've tried white noise?

White noise used to work. Everything we try works for a short while...it's like she builds immunity to it!

Mine napped in the pram so they weren't away from you and you could rock them happily and look at them as well as half watch TV over their shoulder. Then you can push them into the hall / another room when they finally fall asleep.

Mine naps if he falls asleep in his pram. We will go for a walk of he looks tired and it is about nap time but he doesn't always fall asleep and usually when he is with my mum during the week he will do 2 x 20-40 min naps on her walks.. At home on weekends he could nap for anything between 20 mins to 1hr 30.
Maybe she isn't tired? Some babies just aren't.. If she is otherwise happy I wouldn't stress yourself or baby out over it

Please don't leave your baby crying for 20 minutes, sounds awful for everyone. I'd just keep her up until she seems tired, some kids do just seem to need less sleep. Maybe take her for a walk it the pram at about nap time and see if she drops off that way.

Oh gosh, forever, I can see how that sounds...what I meant was leave her be, not actively instigate nap time as such. Hoping she might nap inadvertantly while we're out walking, driving, cooking whatever. It breaks my heart to hear her cry and it seems the only time she cries really hard is when we try nap time. She's always been a great night sleeper, shitty napper.
I wear/sling her a lot as we're not "push chair" kinda people, just feels weird.
She's been awake now for 5 n half hours, according to Huckleberry and only really started falling apart just after bathtime.
She's literally just this minute fell asleep!

Will she not nap on you? My dd screamed blue bloody murder at that age if I tried to get her to nap in her cot. She would happily snuggle up on the sofa with me for a snooze though. Usually a couple of lullabies and some rocking and she would be off. It was a nice excuse to put my feet up.

OP I think forever is referring to your post where you say she goes to sleep after 20 mins screaming.

If you're trying to make her nap when she's not showing signs of tiredness what makes you decide it's nap time? I follow my sons signs, he's just gone 7 months and currently trying to cut down to 2 naps a day. Sometimes that's 2 1 hour naps and sometimes 2 10 minute naps.

What’s huckleberry?

I just did as others have suggested: ignore preconceived ideas of when you think they should be tired and look out for their clues that they are tired. You start to get a feel for it and it settles into a sort of rhythm. Some days you get it wrong and you take that on board for the next day. If she’s not angry or unhappy or generally in meltdown mode from lack of sleep then it sounds fine. Mine’s is 13 months now and trying to cut down to one nap. She has afternoon nap but if I think she’s tired in morning then I offer her a nice environment for sleep if she wants it: bf’ing in dark room (she’s older now, at 5.5 months didn’t need to be dark), out for walk in carrier (getting too heavy now) or pram, or if I think she really needs sleep and she’s fighting it then a drive in the car. At the start I felt like I was failing as my daughter didnt have a sleep routine and she would sleep on me for two hour long naps but less than half hour in cot. I felt much better after a week or so when i thought fuck it this is my baby I like her sleeping on me, she gets a good sleep I get a break and we’ll find our own rhythm. Good luck.

Hi Rose, sorry my post wasn't very clear, I was referring to your first post where you say baby only naps after 20 minutes of screeming.

Totally not judging or trying to make you feel bad, just dosen't sound like the benefit of the nap is worth that much upset (upset for you as well as baby). DS was also a terrible sleeper so I know sometimes you do end up having to choose between crying from overtirdness or crying from been put to sleep.

Will baby sleep in the sling? For a few months DH had to dance round with DS in the sling if he needed a wap when I was out. Otherwise I would feed to sleep and let him nap on me, though I realise this approach isn't for everyone.

Mine only naps for half an hour in sling, buggy or after a bf, if he sleeps in the boob it can be longer, if I pop a dummy in he might go for an hour but half an hour tends to be enough. He'll stay awake about 2-2.5 hours after a cat nap. Longer if he's had longer but only max 3 - I do feel he tires quickly though and always has. Till about 4 mo he could only stay awake about 45 mins!

There was some research done that decided cat napping can lead to better night time sleep (in that they don't want to get up; might wake for a quick feed but knows it's nighttime).

I'm a strong believer of sleep breeds sleep but follow baby's lead. I was in a very similar boat to you from 6 weeks until 4.5 months where baby would sleep well at night but not nap at all. Although she did get tired over the day, night sleep allowed her to catch up and we got by.

Then 4 month sleep regression hit and she woke every 20-45 mins at night plus no naps resulting in an extremely overtired and cranky baby. At this point, the lack of sleep was affecting her; nothing I did myself helped matters and in the end I used a sleep consultant to help me get out of the overtired cycle. Once she was sleeping well, she was happy and life improved drastically. If yours is happy as she is, then its possible she is just fine and will fall into her own pattern herself. If irritable and overtired, she needs to nap more

Who is Huckleberry? Why is s/he telling you how long your baby has been awake for?

Just let the baby do her baby thing. She will sleep as and when. Naps are just a thing that may or may not happen at a time you expect. If the idea of having a nap makes her scream, give up on it.

I’ve also got a good sleeper at night but she struggles to nap in the day
Rightly or wrongly I don’t force her to nap in the day if she is happy and Not grizzly. I would just be led by her and if she is happy in the day don’t worry too much about it
I always think I will take the no daytime naps in exchange for the good nights!
Good luck!

My daughter is 6 months tomorrow. She also sleeps through the night, 11/12 hours. She has the odd cat nap during the day can range from 10minutes - 1 hour and each day varies. I would much prefer her to sleep through night and be demanding moreso during day. I would advise to forget the app - I'm sure they just stress parents out. What's right for one baby isn't for another. Go by her lead is the best advice I can give for a happy baby.

With mine I found that after weaning naps were more predictable and he was easier to put down for naps.
I think the whole day gained more of a set shape for him.
Under that age the whole day is a whirl of many milk feeds, nappy changes and cuddles, unless we were out somewhere a 10am feed and change was pretty much the same as a 4pm feed and change, then a few days after regular lunch was established an after lunch nap was more like an after bath sleep at night, it was expected and ready for.

Oh and this too as said above

I'm a strong believer of sleep breeds sleep

Couldn't agree more, I wouldn't be concerned that more day sleep will wreck night sleep, she may even push through a little longer.

There was some research done that decided cat napping can lead to better night time sleep (in that they don't want to get up; might wake for a quick feed but knows it's nighttime)

Editing my own comment. the research showed that if all baby's needs are met: milk, stimulation - regularly moving to new activities, (some need it more than others) feeling secure (slinging given as one example to achieve this, familiar buggy or cot could also) lots of fresh bright outdoor air, they'll nap if given regular opportunities and take as much as they need. If it's only a cat nap that's all they need. Some want and take more. Some need to suck (boob or dummy). So the adage that sleep breeds sleep could be behind this, but just that not to get too hung up on where, how and how long. It was done in Australia, I forget where. Will have to search through my links.

I've just read an old mn thread when searching for some info on slinging where a pp claimed that day sleep and night sleep operate in different parts of the brain hence why some will sleep happily in a cot at night (mine does with tilted sleepy head as still a bit refluxy) but not in the day preferring buggy or somewhere else. There wasn't any links for that though.