Positive stories of babies who only wanted to sleep on you

[Stellarbella]

DS is 8 weeks old and since day one has only wanted to sleep on my chest, day and night. I have a sling for the daytime but nighttime is awful - he sleeps on my chest in my bed every night, waking every couple of hours for feeds. I know that this isn’t safe from a SIDS point of view, but he really won’t sleep any other way - he has reflux so I think lying down causes him pain.

Obviously I’m exhausted! I’m also going back to work in 8 weeks’ time and have no idea how I’m going to cope with the sleep deprivation then. Please please give me your stories of your babies with similar issues and tell me when it got better for you and what sorcery you used to achieve it! I’m not expecting him to sleep all night or anything, just a few hours in his snuzpod would be fab. He’s EBF in case that makes a difference. Thanks!

Yes this was my DD many moons ago. I don't imagine it helps, bit she did just grow out of it. She ended up sleeping better than her sister that I did CC etc with. But if you think it's reflux and you are suffering with the sleep deprivation then I'd say a conversation with a supportive GP/HV needs to be first port of call.

The magic fix for us was when DS’s tongue tie was finally diagnosed and cut at 21 weeks. Until then you couldn’t put him on a flat surface without him arching, screaming and being sick.

Has a tongue tie definitely been ruled out by somone properly trained?

Would he sleep on his side snuggled into you rather than on your chest? Both of mine coslept that way (wedging their heads into my armpit) for the first 3-4 months and after that moved to a cot fine.

No tongue tie - an IBCLC looked at him at 3 weeks and ruled it out. GP has put him on infant gaviscon for the reflux but it’s not really helping. He won’t sleep next to me on his side unfortunately, as at least then I could say I was properly following the cosleeping guidance 😬. I am terrified about the SIDS risk.

Hi OP. Congratulations on your baby. My little boy used to do the same and I was terrified of squishing him, and extremely sleep deprived initially. I can highly recommend the La leche league book Sweet Sleep, which talks about how to co-sleep safely. Learning to breast feed with us both lying down was a game changer for us, and he started to sleep next to me rather than on my chest. We got to the point where he would latch on himself.when I was asleep!! It seems to be referred to as breastsleeping and is actually very normal, though in the West we are encouraged to sleep separately. My little one just didn't get that memo!

My DD was similar and has reflux. Gaviscon didn't help her and was a nightmare to give as she is also EBF. She is now on Ranitidine and although it doesn't do anything to reduce the volume of regurgitation she is much more comfortable from a reflux point of view and will sleep in her cot. Before every time I lay her down she would writhe around, pull up her knees, arch her back etc. I'm yet to have success with her sleeping in the cot in the day time but to be honest at night is good enough for me!

We also found swaddling helpful but I think your DS is too old to start swaddling now.

My DD often sleeps when pushed in the buggy. If your DS is the same could you push him until he drops off then remove the wheels and keep him in the carrycot and then put by your bed?

I don't know what your buggy is like but I went for the icandi peach because it was advertised as suitable for over night sleeping.

Good luck.

DS would scream bloody murder if put down on his back anywhere, but for some reason he could sleep next to me cradled in the nook of my arm. I think it's because he had constant access to boob, and feeding soothed his reflux. Ranitidine really helped, along with some diet changes on my part (cows milk, soya and eggs).

I don't have any long-term velcro baby success stories though... Unless you count him sleeping in his own bed for (most of) the last 2 nights! He's 2.3 years old now mind you...

DD2 would only sleep on me or DH for about 6 months. It wasn't ideal, or recommended, but even from day 1 in hospital, it was the only way she settled. She slept in our bed about half of the time until about 2ish and the odd night now (she is 4). It can be done safely. She had her own growbag and we kept duvets off her. It was exhausting tbh, as we never slept well. But less exhausting than being up and down all night to a screaming baby. Good luck OP.

I was sort of hoping that someone would say that it magically got better at 12 weeks or something - no such luck! kayaking - he will sleep in his pram but as soon as it stops moving he’s awake, no matter how deep his sleep.

I’m aware that I’m making him sound like a total nightmare, but he is a delight really, just very cuddly!

My mildly refluxy Velcro baby (who also woke up the second the pram stopped moving) did get better after 12 weeks... but it was more gradual than dramatic, I'm afraid. By 4 months it was a big difference.

My DS was very premature and when he came out of hospital he would only sleep on his front on my chest. In hospital they sleep them on their front in the incubator (regularly rotated front/side/back etc) as they have monitors on so know when their breathing stops or is affected. This is not helpful when you get home and are advised that they can’t sleep on their front plus you are a nervous wreck anyway worrying that they’ll forget to breath! So I lay propped up on pillows in my dressing gown in the centre of our king size bed (DH had lucky escape to spare room!) so that if he rolled off (which he never did) he would not fall on floor. I can’t remember how long I did this for, probably only a couple of weeks, but we then managed to graduate to an open sided crib level with the bed. Those days are so hard but you will get through!

All mine slept next to me using my upper arm as a pillow! None had reflux though.

I agree it's worth a conversation with your health visitor, as long as she won't stress you out more. Otherwise try your GP.

When you go back to work where will DS go? DS1 did solo sleep but only at night, and during nap much during the day at all. When I went back to work at 12 weeks and he went to nursery I was dreading his sleep getting worse but nursery really helped - largely due to experienced nursery staff having seen a wide range of sleepers, so that may help wean him off always co-sleeping (I don't mean to suggest it's something you want to stop, but understand it must be exhausting).

Another recommendation for the book Sweet Sleep. My DS is now way past the newborn stage but the book and it's tips for safely sharing a bed when you are breastfeeding were very helpful. We graduated from him only sleeping on my chest to side sleeping to sleeping through in his own bed over time. DS might not have slept through for 2 years but honestly, safely co-sleeping meant we all got much more sleep!

Congratulations! DS would only sleep on my chest for weeks, then next to me in bed (usually latched on permenantly) until we put him in his own room at 8m. I don't suggest that you do that earlier than advised but only to say that it will get better. I actually miss those sleepy snuggles now 18m later 🙈

@stellarbella I could have written your post about my almost 6 week old. He has silent reflux and since we brought him home from hospital he’s only slept on my chest at night. I am on the sofa each night with him now as I feel it supports my arms better to keep him in place. We have a next to me crib that he’s never settled in and have tried him in bed with us but he screams. We can sometimes get him in his Moses basket downstairs during the day and he often falls asleep whilst out in his pram so he can lie on his back, just not at night it seems.

Last night however, i got him settled (eventually, after much rocking) in his Moses basket downstairs whilst I slept on the sofa. He stayed there all night! I used the miracle blanket swaddle for the first time and this seemed to settle him in there (along with a dummy and lots of rocking for a few hours).

He’s on infant Gaviscon and we’ve just started ranitidine. Not convinced either is helping yet though.

I can't give you good news, my daughter turns 7 soon and would still sleep on my chest if she could!

As a baby, the only place she would sleep is on my chest, her head tilted slightly so she had one ear to me. I could only sleep sat up as I was terrified of squashing her. My elder daughter was always so independent, never wanted nursing etc so it was a real culture shock having a child stuck to me 24/7! I literally couldn't put her down.

Even now she still has separation issues. Every night it's the same battle to get in my bed, which is refused, but she still asks. And when she's poorly and is allowed to sleep in my bed, she tries to lay on top of me - thank goodness she's a skinny little thing or else it would be me getting squashed!

I remain positively optimistic that she will grow out of it in time...

didireally when I go back DH will be a SAHP. He’s just as clueless as me!

Will buy the La Leche book.

Solidarity, fuchsia 👊

Have you tried feeding to sleep on your chest and then kind of rolling to your side with him next to you? As he gets bigger you might have more luck with side lying feeding.

Mine is 5 months and still only wants to sleep on me. I just keep telling myself you don't get many teenagers still BF to sleep.