Drowsy but awake - advice and help please

[catcrow]

Hi
We are starting to put my 4 month old down drowsy but awake each time so we can break the rocking to sleep habit. The trouble is, he never seems to get drowsy unless rocked! So if I put him down without rocking it takes about an hour of shushing, stroking and picking up when he gets upset and putting him down once he's stopped crying. Is there anything I can try? Does this sound normal and OK? I don't want to just leave him to cry it out. Thanks

Drowsy but awake is a mythical state invented by baby sleep books to torment us I think. It's certainly never been achieved here!

DS, 11 months is either 'on' or 'off', I'm having some success at the start of the night with Gradual Retreat. He goes into his cot after his bedtime feed and I sit next to him until he is asleep. I need to lay him down a few times, shhhhh lots and some patting. It's very gradual, can take anything from 10 to 40 mins, and not much retreating has happened yet. We've been doing this for 6 weeks. I think it's recommended for 6 months + so your little one is probably still a little young.

Not much help for you I know but maybe again in a few months.

Oh and it's made no improvement to his 2 hourly night wakes although is less physically exhausting than trying to feed him to sleep the lower into his cot now he is so big!

It’s definitely a mythical state. Don’t torture yourself - bin whatever book you read it in.

All baby book authors are liars and swindlers and thieves. Probably.

I'm glad it's not just me then! It's so difficult! I'd love to carry on rocking him to sleep as I love the cuddles, but he's getting so heavy, it's doing my back some damage plus I know he can't get rocked to sleep when he starts nursery! Just spent twenty minutes telling him about my plans for dinner in a calm and soothing voice to see if I could bore him into sleep!!!

Oh don’t worry a jot about nursery. Invariably your kid will just lie down and go to sleep at nursery (but will continue to require all the extras at home) (voice of bitter experience!).

I just have to say, I am SO glad I came across this thread. There I was, also wondering how to achieve the "drowsy but awake" state (for me, the Elizabeth Pantley books). I'm so glad I'm not alone. It's so confusing, all this stuff!!!

Drowsy but awake has proved elusive for our 9 month DS too. He’s another baby that seems to be either ‘on’ or ‘off’ and never in between.

Only once in his 6 months that my son has achieved the elusive drowsy but awake state and gone to sleep in his cot without boob/shush pat/rocking to sleep and I think that was a fluke. I have no answers to solve the problem but am enjoying cuddles while he still wants them!

Drowsy but awake. Oh how we tried. Never happened. I’m sure some babies do it, just like some don’t wake up every hour, but we managed it a grand total of once.

Sleep is utter hell for the first year or two. None of the methods work, it’s all bollocks to sell books. Do whatever you can to survive

Other mythical states are the baby that will allow pupd without being driven into a vomiting screaming bashing face into cot bars frenzy, and the ability to return to a controlled crying baby and soothe it in a few minutes before trying again. (Oh it sounds like ages but he only cried for twenty mins MY ARSE- ds cried for seven hours straight after two rounds of being left for a minute or two and refused to go in or near the cot ever again.

Honestly just accept nothing works and sleep in shifts.

Nope. It’s not real. Doesn’t exist.

Never worked here either..

DS is 4 months, glad I found this thread as I have been struggling with this too and thinking that I was clearly useless! Sometimes as I'm putting DS into his cot he gets joggled a bit, and that rouses him slightly, he opens his eyes and then shuts them again and goes back to sleep. I'm going to count that as drowsy but awake! Sometimes, however, he just wakes straight up and cries!