baby boxes, bedside cribs and breathing monitors

[Papergirl1968]

Apologies if these are silly questions. I’m an anxious grandmother to be and as my dds are adopted, I didn’t have them as babies.
Dd, 17, is pregnant and likely to be coming home after the birth so I can look after her and support her with the baby.
Baby can sleep in the pram downstairs during the day but it’s not suitable for overnight sleeping.
Looking at getting a cot but I’m not keen on having to move it in the middle of the night from my room to dd’s or vice verse, and besides, I know newborns can sleep in them but often prefer something small.
We’ve qualified for a free baby box so baby could sleep in that overnight but are you supposed to put them on the floor??? I guess we could put it in the cot.
Dd was keen on a rocker that converts into a crib but again they’re very low to the floor and I suspect not suitable for overnight sleeping.
We’ve also looked at bedside cribs like Next to Me and like the idea of being able to reach out to sooth baby without getting out of bed but I can’t see that when we’re asleep, how to be 100 per cent sure the duvet isn’t going to encroach into the crib and possibly cover the baby’s face. So if we do go for one of these, I think we’d keep the side up.
Finally (!) do we need a breathing monitor? I’d always thought they were just for families that had experienced SIDS or had a poorly baby or whatever, now I’m thinking they’re not that expensive, a small price to pay for peace of mind.

I had a next to me crib, it was brilliant. At first my daughter didn't like sleeping in there so I put her in a Moses basket inside the next to me for the first few weeks.

I did have a breathing mat sensor attached to her baby monitor but didn't use it until she moved to her own room and to be honest as soon as she could move/roll over it kept going off by mistake so I stopped using it.

I used a bedside crib (Snuzpod) but didn’t attach it to the bed, I used it free standing with the side up and an 8-10 inch gap away from the bed. It was still convenient to be able to reach over and get the baby out without getting out of bed.

I didn’t use a breathing monitor. NHS guidance is not to let your baby sleep in a separate room for at least the first six months (my 9mo is still in my room). So you can hear them breathing anyway.

Thanks, both. I’m amazed the Moses basket fitted into it, Sausage.
That’s the other thing - we may well be loaned a Moses basket by a relative whose baby will have grown out of it by then.

If you are borrowing a Moses basket just make sure you buy a new mattress for it - can get them from mothercare I think. We have a Bednest side sleeper it's great!

We hired a bednest for my 2nd DD. It’s similar to the Next to Me crib and an absolute life saver! There was no way our duvet could get in there.

We’ve also had sensor mats attached to our monitors for both DDs. It helped me less anxious (especially when they do that freaky shallow breathing thing...).

Both are just personal preference really.

For mine I had the pram bassinet for downstairs daytime naps, a baby box in the living room (town house so on the first floor), again used for daytime naps, a crib (ordinary wooden one) in our bedroom - theoretically for the first six months but in practice much longer each time, and then a cot bed in baby’s own room (DD transferred into that at 10 months, DS age 7 months hasn’t yet). The ordinary cribs seem to last a lot longer than the next to me type things as they are longer. Also pretty inexpensive from mothercare or wherever. Tbh I would just set it up in your daughter’s room and not worry about shifting it - really nice of you if you are prepared to help with night wakings but you shouldn’t have to have baby sleep in with you, surely? I have had angelcare breathing monitor sensor mat things for both of my kids (despite being in the same room for ages) as it is the only way I can sleep. I worry too much otherwise so it is money well spent for me.

We used a Next2Me and it was great, only issue was that our baby was able to move by ten weeks so we put the side up then, also she had outgrown (comfortably) by 4 months.

If the baby will mostly sleep with your daughter and occasionally with you, she could have the main crib in her room and you could use the baby box in yours.

We have an angel care video monitor with breathing sensor and I love it. It’s very reassuring.

We had a Moses basket in the bedroom and pram downstairs for day time sleeping which worked fine for us. I did get a breathing monitor but it kept going off even when I was standing over DD seeing she was clearly breathing so I didn’t use it after that

And congratulations too - you sound like a wonderfully supportive grandma to be, can imagine this was probably a bit of a shock with dd being so young but it is so lovely that you are helping her so much.

Thanks, Princess for the kind words and everyone for their help.
It’s really hard to make decisions as social services are heavily involved and it’s very likely baby will be on a child protection plan, due to dd being rather unstable, and, I hate to say it, a nasty temper.
Ss want her to go to a mother and baby unit for assessment but dd doesn’t want to. It is possible ss will say that if she comes home, she has to be supervised with baby.
My own fears are that if left to her own devices, she will shake the baby in frustration with it crying, or wander off leaving it in the bath or on a changing table.
I love her but she has so many issues due to her own traumatised early years.
She might surprise me, but even if she takes to motherhood really well, I can’t see her getting up with the baby in the night, hence I’m preparing to be very hands on.

Congratulations to you and DD I was a young mum and everything turned out just fine, which was without a supportive grandmother. DD is lucky to have you.

I didn't know there was a baby box scheme, I bought mine and I loved it.
In the past I've had Moses baskets or cribs but DS2 was perfectly content in his little box which was at the side of my bed and easy to move around, then transitioned into his cot.
As pp said, second hand things are fine just get a new mattress. I didn't bother with a sensor as I don't see the point but again, it's personal choice.

Yes, Blanche someone on mumsnet mentioned it a week or so ago. For anyone else reading this, if you google something like free babybox university uk, you watch a few videos, answer a short quiz, and then you can either collect your babybox or have it delivered for a small charge.
Did you put yours on the floor?

We had a next to me crib with a sleepyhead in it. Not everyone agrees with the sleepyhead but hands down it was one of our best baby Purchases. I always kept the sides down as I’m breastfeeding so could just literally scoop baby up. I just admit I never even thought about the duvet. It never was an issue. With baby being in the sleepyhead there was an extra barrier anyways but I never woke to found the duvet encroaching on the crib. The sleepyhead can also be used for cosleeping in the bed with you, or on the around the house for sleeps during the day. Both of these can be found on second hand sites on fb etc for reasonable prices and in good condition!

Also, just wanted to say aswell how amazing you are. Sounds like a very tough situation but it’s amazing that you are so supportive of you’re DD.

Good luck

Wow, paper I've just looked and that is definitely worth looking into for anyone interested. I paid about about £70 for mine including delivery and it came with a little mattress and a few other bits (spare sheet, bib ect). It had little owls printed all over it. I read somewhere about a few NHS trusts trialling giving out the boxes for free as well but I only very vaguely remember that.
Yes I just had it on the floor next to me, it felt very odd at first, having a baby in a box! But I'd read about the safety aspects in Scandinavian countries where they are commonly used and liked the idea. I use it now to keep books in, with the lid on.

Just incase anyone commenting on or reading this is in Scotland... all babies now receive a free baby box and your midwife can help you get it.

www.mygov.scot/baby-box/

My baby box was a free baby box university one and was great! Only about a fiver for postage and the little clothes and sheet etc were nice quality too.

Website for anyone who wants it www.babyboxco.com/baby-box-university/

Yes if you use a baby box then put it on the floor. I put mine on the floor next to my bed (but with a gap between the bed and it in case my blanket slipped down off the bed) so I could easily reach my hand down and sooth him or put his dummy back in.

Thanks so much, all. Lots to think about!

Breathing monitors have not been shown to prevent SIDS so we didn't have one. We just used a normal monitor. We had a swinging crib and then a cot for upstairs sleeping and carry cot bit of the travel system for downstairs

I’ve just seen my original post on Netmums, by someone called Sarah. It’s been copied and pasted and as I don’t really use Netmums, the only reason I noticed it was because it was on the daily email I get from them.
I hope it’s just someone who read it here and thought, “oh that’s a good question, I’ll see what the folks over at Netmums think” but I’ve reported it to Netmums and going to report it to Mumsnet too.
I don’t know why I’m annoyed but I am!

How strange, that is annoying. I wonder why they did that. Hope you get to the bottom of it and good luck with your grandchild.

Thanks. I later found another two Mumsnet threads (not mine) had been copied and pasted on to Netmums by the same user, Sarah.
It is very odd!

Another two threads had also been copied and pasted, that should say, so three altogether.
Mumsnet have said there’s nothing they can do. I’ve yet to hear from a Netmums...

How strange! Have they said why they did it?