Reflux baby, help!

[Bailey20]

Hi everyone. Looking for some advice, I really don't know what to do.

DD (9 weeks) has suffered with reflux ever since birth, and as a result, has always been a difficult sleeper. She will always fall asleep on me and will stay asleep perfectly content for hours. Even when in a deep sleep, she will not stay asleep on her back, day or night. This has led to rows between me and DH, he says it's ridiculous and not normal for a baby to sleep on us all the time and says there must be something wrong with her. I reply with yes there is something- she's in pain from reflux. I've always replied with this and just essentially ignored him but so many friends and family members carry on saying how I'm making a habit from this and how I must put her down, I must leave her to cry. DD will go through periods at night where she will sleep 2-3 hours in her crib before waking for a feed. I BF on demand. I then burp her and keep her upright for 30 minutes before putting her back down. Sometimes she will sleep (albeit disturbed) but more often than not she will instantly wake up and scream to be held. By the time I've comforted her again and rocked her to sleep and tried to put her down again, she's then awake crying for a feed. I've tried top up feeds here but she will just cry from pain after.

I'm sorry if the above is a bit ranty and doesn't really make much sense, I'm so sleep deprived and I guess I just need to get it all out. Poor DD is in so much pain, she is able to vomit a lot of it up but it is also silent so affects her laying on her back. I just want to take all this pain away from her and make it better :( I've spent so much money investing in nests, bedside cribs, new mattresses etc to try and improve her sleep but nothing. Like I said, she will sleep in her cot for a few hours but will still arch her back, draw up her legs, cry and moan in pain. Ive also tried gripe water, infacol, dentanox etc, ive mentioned to HV too and they said they are always reluctant to prescribe things like gaviscon and other medicines and just to ride it out and it will get better. I guess what I'm asking here is am I doing the right thing by letting her sleep on me during the day, and continuing to try and put her down at night? I really dont mind the lack of sleep and know that she won't suddenly sleep more than a few hours due to being BF but I'd love to find a way to help her sleep more soundly. Am I doing the right thing also in the routine of feeding, burping, keeping upright, rocking to sleep then putting down? Any help would be appreciated, FTM here and I'd love some advice

The things that worked for us with DD is gaviscon (GP can prescribe it), Dr Brown bottles and sitting her up when she was feeding.

Oh and one of these- wedgehog.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIwM_uw52v3gIVRrDtCh1qjAC7EAAYASAAEgKOgPD_BwE

Definitely gaviscon. The only thing that worked for my daughter. She also used to sleep on her front (rolled herself) as she found it comfier, still sleeps like this now x

Oh bless you OP, reflux is a killer. At the moment I'd recommend doing whatever you need to to get through this patch - I don't think you can deal with reflux and worry about bad habits at the same time. DS1 had this and it wasn't especially difficult to get him into sleeping in his own cot once it went away, so I'd say worry about the here and now. And ofc you can't leave her to cry when she's in pain; what a lot of ridiculous and unhelpful comments you seem to have had to listen to. 

Have you seen the GP or just the HV? Gaviscon didn't work for us and DS was prescribed ranitidine which transformed our lives. I was reluctant but the GP pointed out how utterly miserable and how constantly in pain DS was so it's worth considering something more powerful.

Oh, and it also sounds like you're doing all the right things. If she won't sleep properly on her back there's only a limited amount you can do really! We ended up putting DS to sleep on his front as he would sleep to some extent that way and I was so sleep deprived I felt falling asleep with him on me was more dangerous (we got a breathing monitor as I wasn't happy about it). I obviously wouldn't recommend that you do that but I think many people find themselves making that difficult choice.

Eventually, GP prescribed Liquid Omeprazole. Now it costs the NHS a fair whack (hundreds of pounds apparently) and has to be made to order (so it takes the chemists a few days) but my goodness.... It works!

As others have said, the Gaviscon powder added to bottles is also great. Personally I didn't find the anti reflux formulas any good.

What also helped my DD, was a Reflux Wedge under her mattress. Just lifts their head & neck up by a few inches and helps to reduce the symptoms. You can use one in Moses basket/Crib or two side by side under cot mattress.

Also, keeping baby upright for 40 mins after a feed is essential but I'm sure you already know that x

You sound like you are at a point where you need proper medication to deal with the symptoms. I found gaviscon did nothing to help my son's reflux but he did well on ranitidine and finally managed to get him sleeping in his cot rather than upright on me.

I'd go to the GP asap to ask for medication because we found that ranitidine takes about a fortnight before it starts working and you notice a difference. So the sooner you get started the better. reflux is difficult!

Btw you can buy infant gaviscon over the counter if you want to try something while waiting for a GP appointment but l found it made my baby v constipated so even more uncomfortable.

The feed/burp/upright/rocking to sleep routine is great and there's nothing wrong with cuddling your baby for daytime naps (mine napped in someone's arms for the first 6 months until he learnt to self settle!) but for your own wellbeing I'd aim to get your baby sleeping in the cot at night after rocking to sleep, l think reflux medication would really help you with this.

I'm pregnant with baby number 2 and really hoping for a non refluxy one this time! 😀

Thank you everyone for your replies. I have tried the wedge but she didn't like it, so I bought a next to me crib which I place on an incline. I was worried about falling asleep with her on me too- this happened a few days after she was born as she hated her moses basket but she gets some sleep in the next to me crib.

DD also rolls herself onto her side at night, I normally let her sleep like that with my hand on her tummy to give a bit of comfort.

I've seen the GP and the HV this week as Monday she would not stop vomiting. GP said she wouldn't want to prescribe anything as it normally goes once they are weaning and can sit upright, and made me feel quite stupid and paranoid for asking about medication. The HV also doesn't really see any need for medication as she's gaining weight. When I explain that having her sleep on me all the time isn't ideal and I'm sleep deprived, they say to just carry on with it as it relieves some pressure in her belly. The projectile vomiting has stopped now at least, I think I'll ring today and get an appointment with another doctor for a second opinion.

Thanks again everyone, I was really worried about getting her into bad habits as it seems so many family members and DH are commenting on this now, and my failure to get her sleeping on her own and self soothing. They really don't see how the reflux makes my poor DD :(

@Bailey20 my DS was exactly the same and like you we tried everything!! Gaviscon didn't help with reflux is just helps keep the milk down and made our DS constipated so we stopped it. In the end Dr Browns bottles and colief helped a lot.
He's now 7 months and I think it's fair to say by 5 months he'd stopped having reflux. Good luck and don't worry it will stop xx

Omeprazole helped a lot (thickeners & Gaviscon were pointless), but also eliminating dairy - from formula if bottle fed, or your diet if breast fed. Cows milk protein allergy is often the culprit - both my kids had it, but they outgrew it by age 5 or so. Good luck x

Am I doing the right thing also in the routine of feeding, burping, keeping upright, rocking to sleep then putting down?

In short yes. Probably an unpopular opinion but personally I would avoid medicating what could be normal young baby behaviour that they could grow out of. For comparison I’ve had to do this with both my babies, they need to be kept upright for 45 mins at least after a feed. One had no particular reflux symptoms other than she’d get hiccups if put down too soon, the other has been a lot more sicky and uncomfortable especially when laid flat too soon. Have you tried co sleeping? I guess what I’m asking is do you think she won’t go back down in her cot because of reflux or because she’s unsettled by being away form you? Its totally normal for babies to not want to sleep away from mum, both mine have always woken up when their head hits the cot unless they are really deeply asleep, I’ve often done the 1st stretch of the night in the cot then resorted to having them in with me. Don’t see any problem with you having her sleep on you in the day if keeping her upright helps, and also sleeping on her side will be fine (I’ve done this with mine). She’s still very young and you shouldn’t be worrying about getting her to settle on her own or leaving her to cry at this age, I’d ignore your relatives.

My baby is 8 months and is only just growing out of reflux. We put her on anti reflux milk as the gaviscon made her constipated but there is no way I could of waited until she grew out of it. I would go back to your GP and demand for help.

Also, I bought a babymoov cosydream and raised the head part slightly. This helped loads and I would recommend it for a reflux baby.

I really feel for you, the first couple of months with my baby was awful due to reflux but it does get better x

Thanks again everyone for your replies. I'll definitely make an appointment and see if I can get some medication for her. I'm not sure that it is behaviour- usually when she's clingy it's a completely different cry, and she doesn't draw up her legs, arch her back etc.

I cut out dairy for 3 weeks and then she had a routine appointment with the GP where I mentioned this- she said not to bother because apparently dairy and allergies do not cause reflux symptoms, just diarrhoea which she hasn't had? So I've been having dairy again, just very limited (e.g. having soya/oat substitute where possible and having some products that 'may contain milk).

The next to me cot helps so much as when I am able to put her down, I normally scoot my top half next to her and it calms her so much. When DH is out of bed (he works early shifts) I also try putting her nest in the bed and co sleeping that way with no covers, pillows etc but she doesn't seem to be interested in that at the minute.

Thanks all for your advice, it feels better to get it all of my chest. It was just a bit overwhelming that everyone I turned to to speak to said how I should be doing this and that, and I wasn't.

Getting a second opinion sounds like a good idea. I'm not sure what current thinking is about medication (my DS is now 8 and it sounded like it was a standard option for silent reflux if Gaviscon didn't work, but I'm sure even then it varied from GP to GP) but surely it can't just be dismissed outright without consideration of the safety of your DD if you're exhausted and she'll only sleep on you, and with the importance of your mental wellbeing. Good luck OP.