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Got myself in a tizz

2 replies

Catheroooo · 30/10/2018 09:26

Hi. DD is 10 months old. Breastfed but now at nursery so takes some formula to get by whilst I'm at work (I can't express). Pretty sure she reverse cycles as wakes up 2,3,4 or sometimes more at night. She's always been small but never lost weight so I've always responded to her wake ups with boob as been nervous she is genuinely hungry, but I am sure sometimes it's just comfort. In the main she goes back down but recently started fighting it when I put her down. Sometimes she can be awake for 1-2 hours. I send in my DH when it's clear she won't settle for me and he rocks her , although this can take 5 or so attempts. We have tried sending him in before boob but she just cries for me.

It's my DH's birthday (big one) and he and a friend have organised a meal out for a group of us to celebrate. I'm dreading it. I wish I wanted to go because i love him and want to celebrate but just don't feel in a position to. He is brill and he does understand but I know if it were me I would be disappointed.

DD consistently wakes anytime between 45 mins -2.5 hours after bed, so it's guaranteed she will wake before I get home. Her grandma is babysitting, she loves her and DD loves her too but nights are a different story. We tried a week ago with grandma going in at her first wakeup and I've never heard her scream like it.

What with starting nursery a month ago, to which she is beginning to settle into and reverse cycling, I feel so guilty to leave her knowing she will wake up. I guess she will take formula if hungry but what about the comfort? At 10 months old I thought I would be able to leave her for the evening but I've never felt able to. If she slept consistently long periods I would... I see all these people going out for their first date night since baby born and wish it were us. DD is not classic high needs but I do feel she has some traits. She is a sensitive soul, waking easily and super alert. It's not been an easy 10months.

Then I also worry about how long it'll be before I can leave her. People already expect I should be leaving her and I feel pressure to. A year, 2, 3?!? I feed her to sleep and tried sleep training but it went on for weeks and broke my heart so despite being beside myself with tiredness I won't go back there!!

What do I do? Anyone been in similar places? Thank you.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
HalfStar · 30/10/2018 11:23

I think you should go and I say that as someone who's had 3 similar babies. If dd wakes once you're gone, how about Grandma just doesn't bother trying to get her back to sleep? Pick her up, nice bottle in front of the TV, even let her play a bit. she might doze off again or if she stays up til you're back, so what? It's just the once.

Sympathies, it's very hard.

Catheroooo · 30/10/2018 12:28

Thank you. I guess that where we're headed. When did you three get 'easier? Hate describing my baby like that as she's just being a baby, but at times like these I do find it hard!

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