12 month old only sleeps 10 hrs in 24

[User24689]

Is this "normal?" Apparently average is 13-14 with 11 overnight.

I'm at my wit's end to be honest and would love some - any - advice. His sleep has been terrible since the 4 month regression (before which he was sleeping through!) and honestly my mental health is not good at the moment and this is tipping me over the edge.

Current routine:

Wakes any time from 5.30-6.30
Breastfeed on waking
7am breakfast
9am breastfeed to sleep
Nap 9-10
11.30 Breastfeed
12.30 Lunch
2.00 Breastfeed to sleep
Nap 2-2.30
4.00 breastfeed
5.00 Dinner
6.30 breastfeed to sleep -usually asleep by 7.

He will then wake every 1.5-2hrs until about 3am when I am up with him for about an hour until he goes back to sleep again until waking for the day. Sometimes I'm awake with him for 2 hours.

I have a toddler so can't sleep when he sleeps. His naps are variable and sometimes he will only do 15 mins and be up again. Quite often it takes longer to get him to sleep than the length of the nap.

He has never taken a bottle or fallen asleep for anybody else. I feel like I've failed him by feeding him to sleep because now he doesn't know any other way and it's going to be distressing to stop.

And I have to stop. I wake in the morning with sore nipples. As he feeds, he pulls my hair and my face. I cannot get him to stop - I've posted about that before and no suggestions have worked. If I hold his hand he just writhes and cries. He has to be fiddling with me in some way while nursing. Also, he has just cut two more teeth on top and his latch is now painful so it hurts throughout the feed. It will probably settle down again but I'm just over it so weaning has to happen.

My questions are-
Is this sleep pattern normal for this age?
What can I do to get him to sleep more?
Do you think weaning will help (sleep is not the only reason so I'm doing it anyway)?

I've spent 6 months telling people I won't let him CIO as it is the only suggestion people in RL have given me. PIL are constantly asking to take him overnight to 'crack' it and even the thought of it upsets me. But now I'm at the point where I have to think about my own health too. Is CIO the only way this can get better?

Bumping out of desperation!

My 15mth old DD was similar. She has only just got used to a bottle (I use the nuk sippy cup) and just sips cow’s milk throughout the day. My son was such a good sleeper so I worried so much about her being hydrated and breastfed her to sleep until 13mths, when I’d just had enough! At 12mths DDs routine was bed 7.30pm-6.30am then nap 10-12 (on a good day). Could you try reducing to 1 nap? She now sleeps 7pm-7am and naps 11.30am-1.30pm, so it has settled nicely! I started by dropping the evening breastfeed because I knew she was full after tea and gave yoghurt for pudding so I didn’t worry about her being thirsty. I found that she got used to going to bed without the bf quickly because she wasn’t actually hungry. I just let her cry for 5mins, then she settled.

I got her to drop the nap breastfeed about a week later and that was harder as she wasn’t so tired and my son is noisy during the day so she was distracted! It took a few days trial and error, but she did adapt. I ended up leaving her bottle in her bed with her, giving her a few toys to play with and she just fell asleep after about 20mins of fussing and playing. I found getting the time I put her to bed right was more important than the breastfeed. Do you have a good nighttime and nap time routine? She has been sleeping better since I started putting her into sleeping bag and doing everything exactly the same as bedtime. Anyway, I don’t know if that’s any help whatsoever, but what I’m really saying is my daughter was similar and it’s better now! Best of luck

Absolutely no need to point out you’re breastfeeding him every time.

Also, myhummy was my best friend getting baby to sleep longer in daytime as she couldn’t hear her brother. Not Cheapest, but brilliant!

@BertramKibbler who rattled your cage? She can write that if she wants 🙄

My third is like this except often he sleeps for just one half stretch a day until 7pm. Only in his cot until 11/midnight then with me and feeding away! He's breastfed too. If I haven't had him out that day he's awake until 10pm, it's horrendous
The only way he gets more sold uninterrupted sleep at night and is a less fidgety feeder is a two hour walk in his pram while the others are at school and Nursery. He sleeps the whole time because he's exhausted.
I'm dropping one morning feed an sometimes one afternoon one he's 11months old and still fed by me on demand.
Crawling and a combination of blow and direct feeding have some impact on his energy levels but his fresh air sleep is what helps for better night sleep.

Baby lead weaning blw not blow 🙈

chocolateandcarbs and eatmycheese Thank you both so much for your detailed advice.

I have tried dropping the mid afternoon feed and he really struggled but didn't think about dropping the bedtime one first. You're right though, he shouldn't actually be hungry then and will be most tired so that might be a good place to start. We do have a consistent bed time and routine.

I find he gets upset if I put him in his cot awake but maybe putting him in there with toys etc will help him see it as a fun place to be and might help.

I tried to go to one nap but he is shattered by about 8.30am, probably because his night sleep is so poor. So it's then a long afternoon without a sleep. I can try shifting nap later bit by bit though.

He has never slept in the pram but might if I leave it until he's really tired. DD starts preschool in the afternoons next week so this might be a good opportunity to try the fresh air nap.

Lots to think about thank you x

@bertramkibbler Part of my post was about weaning so I included all breastfeeds so it was clear how often he is having milk. I think it's a bit ironic to tell me there is "absolutely no need" for me to have included information I thought was relevant when you have come on offered that as your only contribution to someone really struggling and looking for advice.

Unfortunately he may just not need much sleep...my second didn’t. He gave up his nap at 12 months and then just slept 5:30 - 5:30 (not straight through) . Now 16 he still doesn’t need much sleep. I have 8 children altogether and the youngest seems to be following him in personality. He’s just 2 and gets around 11hrs in total. 10 at night and 45 mins to 1 hr in a nap. He’s permanently on the go...quite different to his next sibling who whilst being a “night owl” lives his sleep and will sleep for 13hrs or more if left to do so!

Hi Lumpy, I have wondered about this. I suppose adults have different sleep needs so it makes sense babies do as well.

He's actually been a bit better the last couple of nights in that he's gone down at 7 and stayed asleep until about 1am - amazing! Unfortunately at 1am he has been completely refreshed and we have needed to wait until about 3 before he has gone back down again! I still prefer that to being up and down all night though.