18 months still not sleeping

[CC4490]

I'm so tired 
My DS is almost 18 months and has slept though the night twice.
I feel like we've tried everything and I don't know what to do anymore.
We have a set routine, tea time, half an hour playing, bath, story and a cuddle then bed. He'll go down and sleep for about an hour then wakes up and screams the house down.
He'll eventually settle again after about an hour and sleep till we go to bed about 11.30/12 ish
As soon as I start to drift off to sleep the screaming starts again.
He will not settle with DH and the screaming gets so bad I can't stay away so we're all up.
I did try crying it out but found it so difficult, one I couldn't handle the sound and two our house is practically made from cardboard and I'm paranoid about pissing the neighbours off.
I've tried picking him up and putting him back down again, he just stands in his cot and screams with rage.
Tried sitting in his room until he falls asleep but the sleep never came, after three hours I still had a screaming tantrum going on.
DH bought a fancy nightlight that puts stars on the ceiling but has had zero impact.
DS is now starting to scream if we even take him into his bedroom.
I've made a terrible mistake and started taking DS into bed with us when he wakes round midnight. DH and I both work full time and were exhausted so took the easy cop out - it's made things so much worse.
I'm now worried that this broken sleep could have a negative effect on DS development as he's not speaking as much as I'd expect for his age.
Can anyone suggest where I'm going wrong?
It's also resulting in practically zero sex life which isn't great fun either.
Can anyone offer any pearls of wisdom?

I understand your pain as I have a sleepless 5 month old. Can't imagine carrying this on for as long as you have. Incidentally, when HV/GP suggested using a contraceptive, all I thought about was how effective a contraceptive a baby is. I surely won't need any in the foreseeable future .

My son woke 3 times a night until 17 months when he weaned. Overnight he has slept through since then. I have coslept with him a lot out of sheer necessity to get through the day but he still got there in the end.
One thing that made a big difference for us is accepting that it's just a normal part of his development and he will come to it. I tried sleep training but my son would out scream even the toughest regime! But we got so much more improvement by accepting that he will wake up and make the situation more comfortable to ourselves.We put him in his own bedroom, black out blinds to have complete darkness, all his books in there and teddies and clothes. We got rid of our cot, he screamed down the house everytime he was put in there and it was a total pain. I baby proofed the room and put a gate up and put him in a low small double bed (with video monitor to see what he was up to!). I cleared everything baby related out of our bedroom as I needed a kid free space to relax at night. I had the first part of my night with my husband in our bed and then when my son called me during the night I would go through and comfort him and sleep in with him for the rest of the night.
Dont think that he will always be a terrible sleeper, it does get better. Our 3/4 times a night Walker now sleeps right through and as of 20 months started self settling. He is a dream to put to bed now, goes down at 6/6.30 and we dont hear of him until 7am the next day

No pearls of wisdom but just wanted to offer some solidarity, I also have a sleepless 18 month old! Although I am complete wimp and haven’t tried a single sleep training thing, I’ve just stuck with cosleeping and hoping and praying that some day things will get better. I think really that controlled crying is the only thing that would work, but it’s just such a traumatic thing to go through I haven’t even tried it’s i know I won’t like it ☹️

But I know how you feel, the tiredness and the lack of coupletime, is so draining. If it makes you feel any better though my DS doesn’t really say much either, I feel like this is just him though, all babies develop differently and just like the sleep his speech will get there eventually, just not as soon as we would all like 😕

I feel your pain. I am currently living off 2 hours sleep a night working full time 😩 loosing the will to live 😭 my 11 month, who up until about 8-9 months old slept through, now wakes every single night and is awake for at least 2 hours. We have a good routine she goes to Bed no problem by 7.30pm each night but as soon as I lay my head on the pillow the nightmare begins. At first she would fall back asleep when I brought her in to our bed but this doesn’t even work anymore and I’m spending 3 hours trying my best to tire her out again if I attempt to put her back in her cot she screams the house down. I have tried crying it out but it just hasn’t worked for me and plus I have another child so feel unfair to wake him plus my partner with the unmerciful screams. Honestly don’t know what to do apart from cry which I do most nights, the lack of sleep is slowly killing me and help would be appreciated 🙏🏼😩 xx

I feel your pain. We have twins the same age who both can (and do) sleep all night but rarely on the same night. Sometimes (like tonight) they wake each other too. They are often up for the day by 5 and I am dreading the clocks going back at the weekend. We have also tried everything but usually we end up in separate rooms with a toddler each for the rest of the night.
No advice as it sounds like you are doing everything right but sleep deprivation is awful so I sympathise.

Hi All, another sleep deprived mum of an 18 month old here. Has also become a 4am screamer and won't resettle. Has been waking up mid nap too for a little scream.
Has anyone had any improvements on the last month? I do hope so...This tiredness is just awful!