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Where the f*ck do i start?! 6mo shit naps, shit bedtime, and now teething while weaning FML

8 replies

BunsOfAnarchy · 22/10/2018 22:05

In a nutshell;
DD has been EBF from 1 week old
At 7 weeks stopped putting on weight. Would not go longer than 40 mins without a feed. Average feed would last 80 mins.
At 9 weeks diagnosed a severe tongue tie (could not suckle AT ALL,)
TT cut at 11 weeks
Feeding finally improved at 14 weeks.
Now at 28 weeks she is being weaned slowly.
But she still wont nap properly during day and sleep has gone to shit at night. She wakes about 5 times a night. Still EBF except for a bottle of formula before bedtime.
Since birth she naps like 40 mins and putting her down is a no no as she ALWAYS wakes up.

Where do i start? What do i implement and what do i improve first? Her naps or her nighttime sleep?
She will not sleep unless she has a tit in her mouth. I guess this is because of all her feeding issues so she was always hungry and then always falling asleep whilst trying to feed.
At night she will do her longest stretch from 7pm till maybe 10pm or 11 if im lucky then its hourly/2 hourly wakings with a demand for breast (well, that means she wont stop crying and no amount of cuddles or shushing will help so i have to whip out a bap and let her suckle to sleep in bed next to me).

She is now being weaned and is also teething on and off.

I was fully prepared to Gina Ford the shit out this baby but i just cant for the life of me even think of letting her cry it out when she had such a shit start in the first 3 months of her life where she essentially starved.

What do i do? How do i get her to slowly stop needing me to feed her to sleep?
Do i attack the night sleep first or her daytime sleep?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BunsOfAnarchy · 23/10/2018 09:12

Shameless bump

OP posts:
Sunshine567 · 24/10/2018 22:19

I feel your pain! My dd didn’t have tongue tie issue but has the same sleep problems! She’s 12 months and hasn’t never slept through the night - one time and one time only she slept 6hours but that was just to lull me into a false sense of security. On a good night she goes 3/4 hours but nights are usually bad so can be anything from 45minutes to 2hrs. She is BF since birth - not through choice - she refused bottle and dummy. I’m trying to get her into cows milk but she’s not that interested. She naps anything from 30-60minutes once or twice a day. When she wakes in the night it’s full on screaming. She used to settle either with boob or cuddles but for past month she’s like a baby possessed. There’s no way I could do controlled crying even if I wanted to. Sorry I’m just having a rant too. Not actually given any answers. From what I’ve read through tackling the naps first help with the sleep but I’d like someone to come try it with mine!

BunsOfAnarchy · 24/10/2018 22:37

Thank you for taking the time to post. Atleast i know im not alone!
I hate it when people ask if DD is sleeping through. I hate it when i try to put her down for a nap she either wakes up or only does 30 mins. I just feel like ive failed at basic parenting!

OP posts:
MustStopSnacking28 · 24/10/2018 22:42

I have heard that sleep begets sleep so basically if they nap ok then they should sleep better at night. My 5 month old ds doesn’t nap for long periods so I haven’t actually found this myself as he is an ok sleeper at night. But it does make sense as it is harder for them to sleep if they’re overtired.

It sounds like your lo has had a really difficult start but at 6 months I’m sure it’s not too late to sort sleeping out? I’m afraid I don’t have any specific tips other than I have found white noise to be a lifesaver, I really credit that for helping ds sleep through (sorry if you have already heard that a million times but I recommend it to anyone!!)

MustStopSnacking28 · 24/10/2018 22:44

Also you deffo have not failed at basic parenting! People who ask about them sleeping are nobs - it’s so hit and miss if they sleep, sometimes I feel like people are just asking for the sake of it! Like a general ‘is he good’ - why do you care?!?!

Sunshine567 · 25/10/2018 17:55

You definitely haven’t failed at basic parenting!!! That’s sleep deprivation talking. I dread nap times and bedtimes and when she’s up screaming for hours in the middle of night I end up crying too. It’s soul destroying and yeah some people say it won’t last forever and others say my 7 year old still doesn’t sleep through (both of which make me want to scream) but neither help at 2am in the morning!

LalaLeona · 26/10/2018 08:03

My baby was like this in that he had the same sleeping patterns. It was horrendous. It has nothing to do with your parenting, I genuinely think these things are luck of the draw. My first child was an excellent sleeper and i patented them both in the same way so please don't beat yourself up. It's just The tiredness making you negative. My son is 2 now and grew out of it naturally. Good luck to you, you will get through this.

HollidayArmadillo · 26/10/2018 08:16

If she needs something in her mouth to sleep will she take a dummy?
How many 30 minute naps is she having a day?

I would definitely start with naps, you're not tires and trying to get back to bed quickly so you can spend a bit longer sorting her so it's easier for you, plus sleep breeds sleep so the better daytime sleeps she has, the better her nighttime sleeps will be

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