Question for those who bed share

[WomanFormerlyKnownAsKarateGirl]

A question has come to mind a few times recently whilst I've been putting my 3 month old daughter to bed. We don't bed share, because it wouldn't work for us. We start her bedtime routine at 6ish, and she's usually happily asleep in her crib between 7 - 8:30ish (depending on exactly what mood she's in on the night in question - tonight was an 8:30 night...)

I just wondered, if you bed share, do you put your child to bed alone, early on? Or take them to bed with you when you go up? Or do you go to bed really early, and get up again once they're asleep? Or something else entirely?

I'm just curious (and nosy) really.

Dc goes early. I go later.

I bed share but I'm not interested in answering the question of someone who seems so blatantly pleased with themselves that they don't.

Your child takes, at most, 90 mins to settle in their own cot. Have a fucking medal.

DD goes to bed at 630 and I usually go with her. She's still a shit sleeper at 9 months and nurses frequently through the night so I like to rest as much as I can. Perhaps be thankful you have a baby who can self settle and sleep well in a cot, may not always be that way !

Crikey! Harsh responses.

I co-slept with DD. I would lie in bed next to her until she fell asleep (usually between 6-7) and I'd get up and do general evening things.

When she was tiny, she'd want feeding at 11 so I'd go to bed, feed and go to sleep. Even when she no longer needed a feed, she'd still stir at 11 so I'd go to bed for a cuddle.

She went into her own bed at 18 months but most nights she wanders in for a cuddle at some point.

No need for that @Doodledott I'm just interested in hearing about other parents' experiences. All kids are different, and this is what we currently do. Like I said, we don't bed share because it doesn't work for us - not everyone can, but I'm glad it works for you. I'm perfectly well aware that her sleep routine may change, I'm not thick. Apologies if I sounded smug (or whatever you got from my post) it wasn't the intention.

@mileyk90 I hope that your daughter's sleep starts to settle for you soon. I am very grateful that mine sleeps well. Hoping she keeps it up for when I go back to work in January, but anticipating the 4 month regression hitting in the next couple of weeks...

Thank you to those who answered.

Hi OP

I was blessed with a baby that slept relatively well from birth - complete luck nothing I did! obviously waking multiple times for feeds but feeding and going back to sleep. I co slept for first 3 months - she was in a sleepyhead next to me in king sized bed. I then transitioned to cot and this worked well albeit I cuddled her to sleep. She was only waking once at night then not at all at six months. Then 9 months happened, and it all went out the window. 10, 11 months now nearly 12 months and we are in a living hell at night she goes down in her cot at 7 and is then awake from 11 onwards and no matter how many times she falls asleep when I put her back in the cot she wakes up and stands up screaming.

I've taken to co-sleeping in spare bedroom with her in last few weeks but she does first part of night in her cot and transitions. She used to self soothe at night and pop her dummy back in now she has it in her mouth and cries through it! Some nights she's buzzing awake as if she's had loads of sleep and keeps me up laughing and rolling about 1-4am, other nights she will go straight off in bed with me.

I keep telling myself it's just a phase, and it will pass - the mantra 'she's just a baby, she's just a baby' is all that goes round my head. I find myself reasoning with her saying surely you want to sleep, sleep feels good! A lot of this happened when she learned to stand up and now she can't stop standing all night!

Long winded way to agree with you that things work for a time but you'll probably adapt unless you are more hardcore than me! But if I sit in her room and keep putting her down she would do it all night I'm sure. Back to work next week and dreading the nights! I think now she's started nursery this is a new thing to keep her up at night. I am missing my own bed lots and hope to have it back one day!