5 month old wakes every 20 minutes. Can't cope

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I've an extensive posting history in infant feeding whinging about 5mo DS sleep/feeding habits. He's spent the past 12 weeks waking every 2 hours in the night to feed. I now look back on those times fondly as he's reached a new personal best recently and is now waking every 20 minutes between 7pm-6am.

I tried the sleep ladder. Worked a bit.

I've started weaning, got worse.

I've tried giving a very large bottle of expressed breast milk at 10pm. Nada.

I fell asleep feeding him last night in my arms and am absolutely petrified of doing the same. I really struggle with bed sharing.

He feeds, self soothes to sleep in his cot (always has done), and then wakes screaming 20 minutes later. Cuddle back to sleep. Rinse and repeat. I only feed him every two hours.

He's 98th centile so I do wonder if he's hungry (I've lost 3stone feeding him).

Any words of wisdom greatly received.

My head hurts and I want to cry all the time.

Oh love, no real advice but sympathetic bump so this shows in active threads

My 8 mo is currently waking everyv30 mins to 60 mins and has been for the last 3 weeks. It’s horrid isn’t it?! I remember moaning about 2 hours of sleep.... those were the days though!

I, like you, was anti bedsharing and just couldn’t get comfy. But I have now managed to make it work and it’s a life saver. I have also accepted this phase of rubbish sleep, instead of wasting energy to change it, and hoping to will pass one day. I also no longer talk about sleep. These things have helped. Sorry I don’t have a magical cure. Maybe someone else will?

You poor thing. Could you express a store of milk and get your husband or mum to do a night so you can get some sleep?

I find if I bedshare the wake ups are much shorter, sometimes it’s just a pat, sometimes it’s a quick feed, some times LO just wants to touch my face. So I feel more rested then when I would have to get up and go to their room.

Is there someone you can split the night shift with to ensure you get some rest? You could also look into some sleep training methods, there are gentle ones, and start when he’s 6 months.

Have you tried some formula? Dummy? Do you have a partner?

Also how does he nap? How long, in what way etc?

Thank you all

DH is very supportive (thankfully!!!) and is going to do the first two feeds tonight downstairs so I can sleep a bit.

Baby doesn't really take a dummy, not for lack of trying.

Naps vary between 20 minutes to 1hr. Today has been better tho as we were out in the car. 2x1.5hr naps

I don't know how to bed share safely position-wise. I've googled it but it just comes up with reasons not to bed share.

How I used to sleep with dd was I would sleep on my right side with my right arm extended so that I couldn't roll onto her, she would then be next to me in ner gro bag. I had a thick fleece on and my duvet from the waist down. If you're dh is supportive I think splitting the night is a good idea, so you feed d's then go to bed at 8, dh is then in charge until 12.30-1 is when you take over so he can sleep (obviously vary this depending on when he needs to be up etc). Works better if you have a spare room and ear plugs.

I know the rules on feeding babies has changed but when DS1 was about 5 months old, he would scream with hunger. I gave him 1/2 teaspoon of baby rice at night before his last bottle. They did the trick.

Thanks InDubiousBattle that's kind of what I've been doing, wasn't sure if I was doing it right. I'll pop a jumper on tonight!

Panama DS has just demolished 2tsp baby porridge mixed in with some breast milk 🙏🏻

How did it go last night? Did the porridge help?

I don't think so Just. He couldn't have been more full when he went to bed but he still woke 2 hours later and screamed when DH tried to give a bottle of expressed milk.

We did get more sleep than the night before tho thankfully. Waking every 1.5/2 hours. He woke a few times after 10/20 minutes but quickly went back down after a little pat.

Thanks for asking

You have to try formula. It's the only thing you haven't tried and it can conk out babies a fair bit. Especially that hungry baby stuff that takes longer to digest.

BF during the day if you wish, but give them that last feed with formula.

It's worth a shot.

I read somewhere that having a banana before bed helped with restful sleep.
Maybe a bit mashed up at bed time might help if you are already weaning.
DS was a terrible sleeper. I used to put him in an extra vest, extra blanket and socks. I found when he did wake up he was never very warm. Did think about the weighted bedding but he seemed to get better although every 10 days or so he gets up about 2am and stays up. He's 3 now.

You don't HAVE to try anything

Someone posted above about a banana before bed and I think this really works for some babies. You do have my absolute sympathy. My second baby didn't sleep through until he was 3 and a half...by which time we'd had another who was already sleeping through (his time came later!) I've only had one awesome sleeper of 4 (my only girl!) It's so hard at the time but it wont last forever even though it feels like it now. You're doing a great job.

Good luck for tonight op.

Safe bed sharing: cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/

Only thing that doesn't say is to not put baby in the middle - should be next to you with something to stop them rolling out of bed.

Also - you don't 'have' to try formula, there's no guarantee that will make any difference.

Re weaning - milk is far more calorific and has far more fat / protein in it than other food. Replacing milk with food will probably lead to him being more hungry, not less, especially if it's veg based (think how many calories and how much fat and protein are in veg). Milk should form the bulk of their nutrition until approx 12 months (you should start seeing a natural reduction in milk feeds between 9-12m, and food overtaking milk as main source of nutrition from 12m).

Also - if you've stuffed yourself with food and go almost immediately to bed, do you sleep better? It often makes us too uncomfortable to sleep - especially if we get windy or bloated from it.

I'd give bedsharing a go. It's a sanity-saver (and I say this as mum to a 12mo who still wakes every 2-3 hours for a feed. Unless she's teething and then it's more often. And she eats 3 meals a day plus snacks too). She often sleeps better if she's in with me, and even if she doesn't - bedsharing means I don't have to get out of bed which means I get more sleep.

You're not alone, it's far more normal than many people would have you realise - and the pp who said about accepting it and not talking about it etc was right, that can really help too. But I understand how hard that is when you're exhausted.

I reluctantly bedshare as we have an every couple of hours walker who is now almost 10 months old. It does help to get more sleep, although I had to have a little strop to myself (I don’t think the quality of sleep is great but any sleep is good).

I remember ours got particularly bad around 5/6 months and so I started trying to get bedtime routine better. That did work in that bedtimes are usually not protracted. When you’re frequently waking that’s a good thing.

Ultimately I think that’s how some babies roll.. the other thing we got ok at was being able to discern between murmuring and neeeding to go in!

Keep trying with the dummy, mine didn't take to it until about seven months but then it was a life saver. And give him formula! I had a baby that pretty much screamed since the moment she was born. I spent an age panicking that because I couldn't settle her she would end up damaged etc when I finally listened to my husband and let her gurn for a wee bit she started settling and it slowly got easier from then on.

Co-sleeping was a saviour for me with DD2. She was EBF and DD1 still woke most nights. It was the only way any of us could get some sleep. I'd suggest planning for it, don't just do it in the moment as that's when it can be unsafe. If need be, have DH sleep in the spare room (if you have one) to give you and the baby more space.

It's bloody hard when they wake that frequently, but ultimately, I found breastfeeding easier than bottle feeding with DD2 as she could latch on and we'd both sleep, rather than having to get up to make up a bottle.

With that said, I wouldn't completely rule out trying formula for one feed to see how it goes. Maybe try half EBM and half formula at first.

Thanks Sherlock for posting the safe co-sleeping guide. It scares the hell out of me tbh. I'm following the guidelines and it does help, I just don't like it.

Re formula, I'm not averse at all. He just is really inconsistent in taking a bottle. Whenever we've tried it with DH giving a bottle of EBM around 11pm, he just screams and screams. Will take one from me in the day too something to work on.

I think he's teething and has a cold, so hopefully it is a phase as will pass. He does settle quickly with a little cuddle thankfully.

Those who mentioned just accepting it and cracking on, I think you're probably right.