9 mo. Can I just sit with him till he sleeps?!

[AlpineButterfly]

Ebf 9mo ds2. I'm currently laying next to him as a human dummy. I don't want to do it any more. His sleep is variable but on the whole not great. This is about the 8th time, maybe more, that I've settled him since he went to bed at 6.30.

If I feed him, put him in his cot and just sit with him he'll eventually sleep, right? Will it be massively traumatic? I'm stuck and don't know what to do. We cosleep as I feel it gets me the most sleep but I'm fed up of being up and down the stairs all evening (plus I work some evenings).

I'm tired

Following... in a similar boat.

Hi, that's what I ended up doing with my 13 month old. I would sit in the chair and ignore him, the most I would do was put my hand in the cot.

The first night he cried for about 10mins but now he just grumbles a bit. If he stands up I lay him back down and say it's bedtime.

Same! It's awful and now he has teeth really sore !

You can sit with him till he falls asleep. You can do whatever gets you through the night.

When my DD got to 10 months I hit breaking point with the night feeds. She was eating food by then and drinking out of a cup. DH took on the night duties. He'd go in and cuddle her, offer a drink and sit with her. Within a week she went from waking up two to three times a night to just once.

She was still not a great sleeper but she gradually improved. After a month DH and I took it in turns to do the night shirt.

Do you have a partner to help at night? If not the answer is still to do what feels right for you.

I'm thinking about doing this with my DS who is 12 months. I'm currently up for the day (he woke at 3.40) and after almost an hour of him flipping from side to side sucking but with no real intention of going to sleep I gave up. I had already nursed him back to sleep 6 times in the night. This a particularly bad night but we usually do about 4 wake ups. I'm over it and thinking about refusing the breast at night

I was a bit drastic and after several attempts at DH taking over the night settling, which were utterly pointless as DS would just scream for me for hours, I went away with work for several days. Without me there DS would be resettled with a cup of milk (he’d never take a bottle) and a cuddle so we stuck with this when I got back. He was 13 months, I’d been back at work for 4 months by then and was on my knees with exhaustion. He still wakes through the night now at 2 but at least I can alternate nights with DH now.

Hi OP, I was in a similar boat. EBF and cosleeping for survival. I'm at the point now with my 12 mo where I can put her down in her cot and sit in the chair in the corner of her bedroom til she falls asleep. She usually complains for a few minutes and rolls around / sits up / flops back down, but eventually drifts off. Usually takes around 10 mins but is faster when DH does it (she knows he is more no-nonsense than me). We sometimes use white noise to help calm her. Unfortunately she still wakes us 2-3 times a night but I'm just glad that we broke the cycle of co-sleeping.

So yes, try it out and see how you go. Good luck!

Last night was hideous. I was basically a human dummy all night. I can't carry on like that because I have my nearly two year old to look after too so can't just nap.

Housemates move out on Wednesday so baby should have his own room by the weekend. It's opposite end of the house to the toddler so the fussing hopefully won't wake him.

He doesn't particularly feed, it's mostly just comfort he wants. He was really tough from newborn unlike ds1 who would sleep anywhere.

Husband is about but he does the toddlers night wakes. Nightmares is his current phase but he only wakes once and settles quickly

Lots of sympathy for you, I'm in a similar boat. It's so exhausting. I keep talking about doing some sleep training of some sort (hopefully as gentle as poss) but just can't find the energy to start! Fingers crossed for a better night tonight for us all

We randomly had the best night ever last night but I’m aware that’s likely a fluke and this morning he’s refusing to nap. So apart from last night we are in a very similar boat. I’ve tried not feeding DS (8.5 months) to sleep a couple of times but haven’t followed through because he gets worked up and is still very awake after what seems like a very long time.

I really do feel for you.

My DD is 10 months. First 5 months we coslept as she refused the cot and even next2me!

At 5 months she started waking hourly for a quick suck. I managed 6 weeks of this before I was ready to collapse in a heap. We put her in her room with a little controlled crying. After 30 minutes of checks she rolled on her front and slept! I thought we cracked it but after 2 weeks she started waking a few times a Night, and goes through (long) periods of waking up after the first 45 mins after bed. We tried CC again but it never got better and I just felt like I was torturing her. She clearly wants to be asleep butforwhatever reason struggles through the first cycle. Sometimes She does! But it's not often. Everyone thinks I should take action but I just can't. I have tried co sleeping again but She just thinks it's playtime.

Its so hard! I think they're just so little so I don't want to go in for all out CC I do think they're are things you can do but it's whatever you feel is right, you know you're baby best.

Mine never sleeps longer than 30 minutes in the car or pushchair but can (not reliably) go for 1-1.5 hours at home. So I'm always homefor napswhich I find hard as we miss all the groups. I'm now back at work and it is hard.

No advice but just wanted to offer support. It is incredibly hard and you're doing great.

I'm kind of of the belief that they will do what they'll do but I might start to encourage this little one along the way.

I'm not sure whether to stop night feeds/comfort sucking to see if that will help.

I have no hope of a decent nap routine as they toddler is such a young toddler so can't really be left for ten minutes on an iPad or anything.

Let's just see what moving him into his own room at the weekend brings

And just to add mine was tough from newborn too. We had 2 days of sleepiness then she was awake!! Everyone commented how alert she was/is! I still can't look at a baby sleeping in a pram without feeling a pang of resentment!

Have you read about Jay Gordon's method? He doesn't advise anything til 1 year but it might give you some helpful advice. I might start using it when she turns a year or so.

I misread your post as 'Can I just hit my 9mo until he sleeps'..... raced on here to sympathise but also dissuade. Glad to see you're not in need of action B! It is hard, hard, hard, but gets better.

Hit him till he sleeps could prove to be an effective method

I've just read jay Gordon. Looks great! I'm going to keep that in my head ready for when he hits one year. That'll be great timing as DH will have finished his January exams so I'll get him to have the boys a bit more to buy me back some sleep

Great. Guess at the very least it gives you hope and might help carry you through the next few months.

Terrible day/night here. DD woke at 8 this morning which put her naps back. Then had one nap of 2hours 11-12 then went to nursery and refused any nap there or here when I picked her up at 4. She fed to sleep but woke after 20 mins and spent last hour trying to get her back to sleep. When will this end!!!

Ladies I have found my people!

I have one DS of 10 months who has never slept more than 5 hours in his life and he's only done this three times. Things weren't too bad till he got the 4 month regression, we had hourly wakes for a month. Now we are two hourly, occasionally three at the start of the night. Naps are usually 45mins and he'll only have two now so he's usually exhausted.

He sleeps in the cot for his first stretch then co sleeps with me on a floor bed as he's into everything. It's so claustrophobic but the only way I get any rest. After his first sleep his wakes get more frequent until I can't settle him back if I try to keep him in the cot.

He was always fed to sleep but over the last month I've been working on gradual retreat and now I do his bedtime routine, feed him on my lap then put him awake into the cot. He'll generally go to sleep in 15 mins with the occasional shhhh and my hand on him. I do have to lie him back down occasionally and sit next to him till he's asleep. I should be able to leave him to self settle but it's extremely slow going as he's so delicate around sleep (nothing else!). It's supposed to help him fall back to sleep on his own when he wakes eventually, we will see. It has cured him of waking exactly 30 mins after I put him down but its made no difference to his night wakes. I fear I've made it worse by taking him in with me earlier so I can rest. He feeds through the night and usually settles back quickly as long as he's in with me, we have the odd two hours awake once or so a week.

I too have read the Jay Gordon thing, all I can imagine is his absolutely rage and me not feeding him and hours awake. I just don't know how it's going to get better. DH does not do nights so no help there. Poor boy is with me 24/7 so can't blame him not being keen on being in his room all night alone.

We were up at 5.40 this morning, he's only had 2 short naps today and has already been asleep 2 hrs so I'd better get upstairs and ready myself for the night shift...

Send Gin.

Morning ladies,

So what i didn't say is I work evenings and poor dh, the evenings are just hideous. Last night the boys both screamed at him for two hours.

By Monday the boys will have their own rooms on opposite sides of the house so at least DH can put the baby in his cot while he settles the toddler. They just set eachother off at the moment and it's traumatic for all involved.

Currently sat in the car with them both snoozing. Been here about two hours now. If this is what it takes for now then it is what it is

I understand that stress because I work some evenings too now. Last time DH got DS to sleep eventually by rocking him and walking with him and giving him plenty of expressed milk and solids. Hope the move to separate rooms makes a big difference.

Separating them will.make a world of difference. I don't have the same problems because I can soothe the baby easier. I just put the baby in his cot, quick cuddle for toddler and to bed for him - he's very easy to put down. Then I can bf the baby which keeps him quiet until.toddler falls asleep. By which time baby is usually also asleep.

Dh obviously needs longer to be able to settle baby as there is more crying. By Monday night baby will have his room set up hopefully so Monday evening should be easier

Can I join you all? I just posted for the first time asking for advice - last night I tried to comfort my baby in his cot for night wakings, as it's so hard to get him back into his cot asleep these days. We had a fairly screamy hour or so at two wake ups before he went to sleep.

I was with him the whole time, with a hand on him, shhhing and gently laying him back down. But it was pretty horrible. I'm not sure if I'm doing it right?! But co-sleeping isn't a long term option for us, and if we can't transfer him back to his bed asleep then he needs to learn to go to sleep in his bed, and I'm not sure how else to do it!

Hope everyone else who's posted here had an ok night

We’ve had a week of two halves. The first half DS slept stretches of 5-6 hours for the first time ever which was incredible (except that I was awake worrying about him!). The second half he was back to waking and feeding to sleep every 1-2 hours which also included using me as a dummy in between feeds and waking up if we put him back in his bed . I could almost cope with the wakes up maybe if he then went to sleep on his own rather than wanting to continue to use me as a dummy.

I’ve never been able to shhh DS to sleep Baba, maybe because he associates me with milk too much or smells it? During one wake up last night DH went to him and managed to soothe him to sleep and so we’re going to try that again and I think that may need to be the way forward for us.