Just done with this!

[Catheroooo]

I am so tired of every night, my 10 month old wakes after 45 minutes of going to bed. Pretty much, Every. Single. Night. It's been like this for months. She can have perfect naps in the day, or 30 minute naps and it makes no difference. It's not overtiredness, one day she had 2 x 30 minute naps and slept for 3 hours before her first wake up. We had 1 week where she slept brill, even a sleep through. But most of her life it's 3-4 wakes a night. I wouldn't mind so much but the 45 minute thing is driving me bonkers. I don't know why she does it. She doesn't want to be awake. I tried co trolled crying but she went weeks without getting any 'better and I can't do that again.

Please help!

How does she get to sleep in the first place? I found getting to sleep without help was the key. Bear and blanket helped us, dummy if you can get her to take one.

My understanding is that children have approx 40-45 minute sleep cycles so the timeframe isn't surprising.

What do you do when she wakes up? What does she do? If you leave her will she self soothe? Does she have a toy/comforter that you can move once she's asleep so she'll find it straight away when she wakes? Are you comfortable leaving her to cry for a few minutes to see if she'll drop back off (knowing that there is nothing wrong as such and that she is safe)?

Sometimes she self soothes others feeds to sleep at bed. But it makes no difference to the 45 mins. When she wakes my partner tries but she howls so I go in and feed. It's only a few sucks before she cones off and I pop her down or sometimes she's still unsettled so he comes in and rocks her. She then will sleep for a further 2.5-4 hours. She can self soothe as she can go up to 5 hours without waking, We have even had sleep throughs. I don't mind going to her when she wakes later in the night, but the 45 minute thing is really getting to me.

She's a very alert, easily stimulated baby that struggles to switch off. She was never a sleepy baby. So I guess that is part of it.

She's just started nursery. I don't want to let her cry anyway but at the moment feel it especially important to be there for her but at the same time I just don't understand the 45 minute wake. Ok ow it's asleepcycle but why every night and why can she get through other sleep cycles (she does a 1.5 hour nap in the morning).

I always found mine most unsettled at the beginning and end of the night, when they are in the lightest sleep. I'd try to avoid feeding to sleep and leave her for a while when she wakes as you know she isn't hungry, just crying because she is awake and doesn't want to be.

Thanks. But she gets so upset. I used to do controlled crying but she literally went weeks and the length of time she cried never got shorter. It was torture.

I think if you don't want to let her cry then you just have to ride it out. My advice would be either CIO (so don't go back in) or co- sleep and go to bed at the same time.  for you because it's hard x

That was supposed to be flowers for you but it didn't work... 💐

Thank you. I guess I know it. Just wondered if anyone else had this. I know I want her to find her way, but my god I didn't think it's be this hard.

I tried cosleeping. We used to up until she was 5 months but she started waking hourly. So I put her in her cot. Now if i try cosleeping again she thinks it's playtime....

My partner thinks I need to go out in the evening for my sanity. It's a special birthday for him in a few weeks and were meant to go for a meal but I just can't leave her, but equally I don't want to let him down. I can't bear the thought of her screaming for me and I don't come.

Who are you leaving her with? You might find that Granny or Grandpa can get her off to sleep without you. Try a practice run where you just go out for a coffee or dessert somewhere close by?