I thought he would be over this by now

[MashNpeas]

My ten week old DC is only settled to sleep in my arms standing and walking around in a very specific hold.

I can't cuddle them seated, they're not enthused about the sling, they won't feed to sleep. If I'm settling them in my arms and dare to sit down before they're asleep then wriggle wriggle fuss fuss cry.

I thought by ten weeks this would have changed and I'm physically in so much pain from carrying him for so many hours of the day.

How can I wean him off this and let him settle in other ways - any attempt has turned up full blown distress

Nobody :(

I'm two hours into holding and tried putting in sleepyhead - crying now

I’m afraid it might take a bit longer before this happens. Can you put him down when he has gone to sleep? Have you tried laying him on your chest?

My son would do this sometimes - I don’t know what changes when you sit down when holding them but they seem to know!

I don’t have any advice other than maybe snuggle them with a blanket so that you can put them down warm with the blanket afterwards. How long does he cry when you put him down? Is it worth trying to stick it out?

At ten weeks he’s still getting used to being out and it takes some time for security to kick in. Sit down with him and stick it out maybe? See how long he takes to settle - he may get used to it after a while.

It’s hard and you have my sympathy.

A couple of things that worked for us (sure you've already tried it all!)

• vibrating chair with attached white noise machine
• before napping, putting a 'hottie' (we used the ones with grains in you put in the microwave) onto where she was going to sleep first so it wasnt cold when we put her down
• ewan the dream sheep on playing the 'harp' tune (it's repetetive and even I found it soothing!)
• stimulation on a screen - high contrast colours, google heybear on youtube, or tinyadventures, or sparkabilities

And ultimately - sometimes putting her down upstairs to scream for a while being downstairs with a cup of tea to 'breathe and reboot'.

Fortunately she was only like that for us during the witching hours, 5-8 but it was exausting enough then

Thanks I will try those tips!

Oh god how could I forget white noise!! Best discovery ever - ds is two and still has Ewan at night and we now hear him go off in the night sometimes when ds puts him on himself.

I had one on my phone called sleep bug and he liked the ocean noises - could get an extra two hours out of him when he woke in the mornings with that!

What worked for us - white noise, swaddling, something that smelt of me, and a dummy.

The white noise is an AC noise, we started it as he got used to the sound of the AC in the hospital (summer baby). Plus it wasn't too annoying for us. We would leave it on all night on low. He still has it going now at 17mo.

We found swaddling really helpful as it gave him the comfort of being held tight (like you DC does when you hold him), and he didn't feel the coldness of the crib as much when we put him down.

The something that smelt of me was a large nightie that I put over his mattress as a sheet. I just wore it the night before and then put it in his cot. I used to alternate so I wore one and he had the other one.

And of course dummy. Not to everyone's taste but we found it really useful.

@MashNpeas sounds horrible but you need to put them down, they are going to cry but they need to know that you cannot hold them all the time. Put them in a bouncer instead of your lap. It will take a while but they will soon get used to it

We are struggling with this too although only really for naps, at night we are able to put him down.

I've found if you put a muslin between you and him, touching his face, and hold the white noise machine near his head, and then lower all of it down at once, that helps. If the muslin goes with him he still has the feel of the fabric on his face. Then once he's down put a hand on his chest with a bit of pressure so that it still feels like he's being held against you.

Also a sling is useful if you're struggling - that way you get a guaranteed nap out of him and you have your hands free.

Thanks for all the replies - some great tips and I also need to toughen up I think!