Losing my mind from no sleep 😔

[HollD]

I’m not normally the type of person to write things like this but I’m at my wits end. My son is nearly 6 months old and things sleep-wise seem to be getting progressively worse. As I write this I’m sat in bed in tears feeding my son at half past midnight having had no sleep as of yet despite putting him down well over 3 hours ago. I put him in his cot and he seems settled but 5-10 minutes later as soon as I get comfy he starts crying. Over the past week or so I have been getting so angry which makes it even worse as I’m sure he senses it but I just can’t control it at the moment and feel like I’m really losing my mind. I’m normally a very laid back person but I feel like I’m on the edge at the moment and really don’t know who to turn to. Any advice whatsoever is welcome, I really don’t know what to do anymore 😔

Can you safely co sleep then sort out the sleep issues once you feel a bit more with it?
My 2 year old us up screaming the hous down do I can't really give much advice but say you aren't alone.

Your not alone and we have all been there, currently feeding too and tired or should I say I'm more a human dummy. Can you think what might be making him unhappy? I have managed to get mine down for 5 hours tonight by going through a few things
Milk- I think I was so tired my milk supply was suffering so I gave him formula before bed tonight
Cold cot- I have tucked in hard a baby blanket under his fitted sheet on the mattress and transfer seems a lot smoother
Teeth- ambisol on the gums seems to help mine.

Are you okay @HollD ?

Thanks for your advice :) you’re both right I think a lot of mums probably go through this I’m just finding it particularly hard at the moment. Teething could be a possibility too, I’m a first-time mum and my partner lives away for work so a combination of inexperience and doing it alone make matters worse I guess. Hopefully tonight won’t be as bad 🤞

How are you getting on? Mine slept at 9 and is up now, I'm very tired. Just know he won't go back down after thusfolferg

Op I completely understand the anger thing. I'm going through it too.

Is there anyway you can get some time alone during the day to switch off from mum mode? It's the only way I can regulate my emotions to enable me to get through the rest of the day/night.

Hope ur ok OP. its ok to feel like this my 2 year old never sleeps through he needs oxygen and Ng feeds over night so even when he sleeps im not able to fully dose off. how u getting on

I downloaded the 'little ones' sleep programme online and whilst it's far from perfect it's helped me a lot with my 9 week old who seems to be a massive night owl. I think it's well worth a go.

Hi op I hope you have managed some well needed rest since your last post. I was in exactly the same boat with my 5 month old in the end for my sanity and happiness I had to FF (I am not saying you should but I was so sleep deprived I was actually getting angry and wasn’t in a good place). Anyway it worked for a while but then the same thing happened. In the end at 4 months I have put him on some food along side his milk. He sleeps now 4-5 hour stretch’s with only two nighttime wakes and for us that’s like a dream! Good luck xx

It could definitely be teething at that age. Try Calpol, Bonjela, or Weleda Teething Powder (or a combination) just before the bedtime feed. If it is teething, sometimes a bottle teat is easier than a nipple so maybe you could express some?

Could they be cold? Check down the back of the neck fog temperature. A warmed-up cot (heat pack, hot water bottle etc left for a few minutes, then removed can work wonders). Try using a used T-shirt as a sheet so they can get your smell, too. Someone also suggested to me once to use a rolled up towel under the cot sheet to make a Sleepyhead/basket shape around them. That really helped my DD2.

It's really normal to feel angry when you're tired and depleted. It's OK to put them down sometimes to give yourself a break so the feelings don't overwhelm you. On the worst nights, I used to put my DD1 down gently in her cot, then go for a breather - I'd boil the kettle and stand next to it so I couldn't hear her for two minutes! Then I'd steel myself for another "round". I don't believe the "endless patience" myth about mums. Get out in the fresh air first thing - you'll feel much better afterwards and the day will go quicker (plus hopefully baby will sleep better too).

Up feeding for the second time so far which is an improvement on last night. Thanks for the suggestions I’ve got a few things I can try now so hopefully something will help. He just hates sleeping I have problems getting him to nap in the day too, even when he’s exhausted he still fights it. Nice to hear I’m not the only one, don’t feel like I’m going mad now

My friend had this and she hired a sleep consultant who got to the bottom of the issues she said it was the best £100 she ever spent

My son doesn’t sleep in the day either, even at two months he would resist and scream the place down if I tried to soothe him to sleep. He hated the dummy and watching him try self soothe and fail was so sad. I realised I was missing vital sleep signs and was trying to put him down when he was already overtired (so easily done seems to go from 0-60 so quickly). Then by nighttime that is one overtired stressed baby who will probably wake up as soon as you get him down over and over. Now in the day I watch ready for the first sign and he is down quick fast!!
I hope you try some things out and get speedy results for you both xx

Its not for everyone but co-sleeping made a huge difference for us. It's awful to be so sleep deprived but it will get better. 

You're definitely not alone @HollD. My DS was a fab sleeper til he approached the 6 month mark. It got really tricky for a few weeks but now it's steadily improving again. He's 8.5 months old now.

A few things that I think might have been causing / contributing to the crap sleep:

• Teething (the worst night we've had - where he literally cried non-stop all night whenever he wasn't on my boob - happened about 2 weeks before his first tooth appeared)
• Learning to crawl (blows their mind a bit and they struggle to relax at night)
• Starting solid food (must feel a bit funny in their digestive systems for a bit while they get used to it)
• Moving him into his own room. We actually did thing right at the peak of his crappy sleep spell. Rationale being that it couldn't get much worse!

Obviously all babies are different and what works for one won't work for another, but this is what we did:

• Had DS in bed with me as much as necessary. DH often slept in another room so that we didn't squash or disturb each other too much
• Kept bedtime routine as consistent as possible
• Continued breastfeeding on demand. Even when he was waking up at ridiculously short intervals (I remember one spell of 17 mins...argh!) I would feed / comfort him back to sleep as often as he needed. It's always worked best, so it didn't seem natural to try anything else
• Anbesol and Nelsons powder for his teeth

I hope that's vaguely useful...even if it was just the 'you're not alone' bit!

Good luck, and I know it's a cliche (and no real consolation when you're really sleep deprived) - but try to enjoy the night snuggles.

Maybe get him checked by the doc to see if there's an underlying reason, like an ear infection or something? Every 10-15 mins is extreme, no wonder you're losing your shit. Hope it gets better soon.

I’m here with you. I honestly could’ve written your post myself. Last night DS woke up the moment I got back into my own bed SIX times (all before 12.15am). I then gave up and brought him into our bed. I also met with a mum friend today whose daughter is the exact same and also 6 months. Maybe this is a thing? I hope it passes quickly.

The nights are so long when they're so broken, you're definitely not alone in going through this. Couple of tips from me -

White noise. We bought a white noise box from amazon, cheaper than a fluffy Teddy type thing and plays white noise alllll night long.

Hot water bottle in the bed when you take LO out to feed, then the transfer is smoother cos the crib isn't shockingly cold to them.

If all else fails, co-sleeping following safe sleeping guidelines saved me. If you're on your own having to do the night feeds anyway then I wouldn't switch to bottle personally. But if someone can help then a bottle in the evening so you can start your night's sleep early while LO is being fed would help. It gets better! X

Gah mine screamed from 10-12 unfulfilled I finally fed him to sleep, up again at 2-3 and now I'm up again, I don't think I can co sleep I'm so far too tired, falling asleep here just typing.