Ds (3) makes himself sick at bed time

[jofeb04]

What can we do? We place ds in his bed, and recently we can hear him coughing and crying until he is sick. We obv go up to see him, and bring him down so he's not sick any more.

What should we do? Help please, he's doing it tonight

What is it that's upsetting him? Has he always been like this?

Hard to say without the details but first reaction would be to say don't bring him out of his room/bed. Clean him, kiss him, tuck him in and go.

I'm assuming there is reluctance to go to sleep, if not them I'm barkign up totally the wrong proverbial tree.

He simply doesn't want to go to sleep, and as he's been really sick in bed before from cying, he "realises" that by being sick is the one way to get back downstairs.

Don't want to bring ds downstairs, but don't want ds to be sick in bed either!

You need to double make up, the bed. So, make it up once then put waterproof layer down and a sheet on top which you can whip off when he vomits for minimal fuss.

Thanks newlife, will try that tomorrow

If he wants to come downstairs, it could be for any number of reasons. My youngest son used to get really frantic at bedtime and it was because he wanted to be with me - the more i stuck to 'consistency' of what i thought was right (strict routine) and putting him back, the worse he got until i just felt it was bordering on abuse. The little fellow just wanted a hug.

I started to let him come down and sit with me, but i didnt 'do' anything, just cuddle and stroke his hair. After a few weeks, he started to say that he didnt need to come down anymore. And that was that. He felt his needs were being met and so felt safe again.

I often spend an hour or more in their room at night, reading stories, listening to their day and giving cuddles and strokes now - its kind of stuck.

Being sick is not very nice for you or him. I hope it gets better for you both soon.

My instinct would be to hug him/stay with him. Little ones don't make themselves sick if they are not upset about something. I would be wary of taking a tough approach.

They do make themselves sick on demad though. Not always, but is well documented.

Resisting bringing out of room isn't tough, it is very reassurring because it gives the child the belief that they are okay.

If you do try out this approach just make sure you still show you are there for him and don't skip the kiss and a cuddle part. It isn't about being harsh, it's about demonstrating that being in bed is okay and coming downstairs isn't a solution - that doesn't make it unloving.

Just to add, I have tried both approaches with my own children. They were not being sick but they have been very resistant to being alone in their rooms at times. It is a big judgement call and only you will know what is right. Although I'm an advocate for both tactics as suggested in this thread, consistency will be important so you need to decide quickly what is going to work best for you and him.

I have used the firm approach with clients' children to good effect but every situation is different.