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Original poster

9 month DD won't sleep in her cot. Any Advice please??

10 replies

JK123 · 14/06/2007 21:51

My DD (9 months) has a habit of waking up in the night - 3 or 5am or any time for that matter and I am just unable to settle her. This usually means I end up having her in our bed. I've now decided that I want to get a good night sleep and DH wants to return to our bed and so must put a stop to letting DD into our bed. I tried to get her to sleep in her room about 3 am last night but in the end, after trying for an hour and half, I finally gave in and moved her into our bed. She slept like a log until 9am this morning. This evening, as I put her in her room, I walked out and she started to cry. I thought I'd give CC a try. But after 10 minutes, I went in and picked her up - DH was around and is not happy about this method. Called it Neanderthal. I calmed her down and put her in her cot. My hand was on her chest and then within minutes she fell asleep. She was fast asleep by 8.30. I am so worried now thinking what time will she be up in the middle of the night and how am I going to deal with it. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
Jojay · 15/06/2007 14:12

Not much to say but bumping for you

does she sleep in the cot during the day?? Does she go down awake in the evening, or does she fall asleep elsewhere and put her in the cot once she's asleep??

gingerninja · 15/06/2007 15:55

Mine (same age) is a bit like this. Some times will go into her cot no problem, I walk out, she falls asleep bingo. Other times she screams and screams and needs me to hold her hand to sleep and wakes frequently in the night. She's never slept a full night and sleeps most of the night in bed with us which we're ok with as not into CC but I think, from conversations I've had with others, that seperation anxiety plays a part at this age. Personally I'm riding the storm hoping that if I go with it she'll get over it and emerge more confident the other end. If you find it easier with her in bed and are ok with this I'd recommend a bed rail. It's made a world of difference for us as I can snuggle DH, he doesn't worry about rolling on her and she has the comfort of us being close by.

Sorry I can't offer a solution just thought I'd reassure you that you're not alone.

inkydoodle · 26/06/2007 21:15

My DD (also 9 months) will not sleep in her cot either. Every time I put her in, even if she has been sleeping soundly before, stands up and starts bouncing up and down. The minute I bring her in to my bed, she settles down right away and is fast asleep within minutes. She has been sleeping between us for the past few weeks now and I am at my wits end. Any ideas?

amy100 · 26/06/2007 21:53

My one year old DS wakes early each morning (5 ish) and won't settle unless I get into the spare bed with him. We used to co-sleep all night until he was 6 months and it took a few nights of perseverence with me leaning over his cot until he was asleep but he did get used to sleeping on his own for the first part of the night. But he still seems to need to sleep with me once he less fully asleep in the early morning. Naps are no problem in his cot. Just hoping he'll grow out of it.

lilysma · 27/06/2007 21:01

I just posted on another thread and am having a similar problem, except that if I bring dd (7 months) into my bed she then seems to wake earlier and earlier. No idea how to handle this - does anyone else have any ideas?

frumpygrumpy · 27/06/2007 21:10

well, it sounds like she can sleep in her cot and her problem might be learning to re-fall asleep by herself. We all wake a number of times each night and fall asleep again.

My favourite sleep book is Dr Richard Ferber, Solving Your Child's Sleep Problem, I'll try to link in a minute....

Does she fall asleep by herself when you first put her to bed in the evening?

If she then comes into your bed upon waking she is just learning the habit of going there when she wakes and complaining mightily if you don't do it. Same goes for being with her etc.

It might come at the cost of a few nights disturbed sleep but I would recommend sorting it now. She needs to learn the good habit of rousing and falling asleep again. I personally don't have an issue with controlled crying. It lets her know you are still there and it prevents a bad sleep habit developing into something which ultimately might lead to other problems.

frumpygrumpy · 27/06/2007 21:10

well, it sounds like she can sleep in her cot and her problem might be learning to re-fall asleep by herself. We all wake a number of times each night and fall asleep again.

My favourite sleep book is Dr Richard Ferber, Solving Your Child's Sleep Problem, I'll try to link in a minute....

Does she fall asleep by herself when you first put her to bed in the evening?

If she then comes into your bed upon waking she is just learning the habit of going there when she wakes and complaining mightily if you don't do it. Same goes for being with her etc.

It might come at the cost of a few nights disturbed sleep but I would recommend sorting it now. She needs to learn the good habit of rousing and falling asleep again. I personally don't have an issue with controlled crying. It lets her know you are still there and it prevents a bad sleep habit developing into something which ultimately might lead to other problems.

lilysma · 27/06/2007 21:16

Thanks for reply. We did cc a month or so ago and she will now go to sleep by herself and settles herself in the night before about 3ish but then doesn't seem to manage it any more. I set 5am as the first time I will feed her (she doesn't eat loads of solids yet, so I figure she might be genuinely hungry then if I last feed her at 7.30pm). I've tried redoing cc when she wakes from 3 onwards, but she just carries on crying until 5 and then I feel I have to feed her! She's done this for over a week, and I just feel too cruel repeating this over and over again . The night before last she went quiet for about 15 mins twice in an hour and three quarter period of crying, but then started up again, as if she almost got to sleep but something woke her again. She has excema at the moment, but not sure it's that as this problem preceded the excema getting bad...

frumpygrumpy · 27/06/2007 21:24

Personally this book was very useful to me. It helped me understand all sorts of things about the sleep pattern. My DTs would wake at 5am and I discovered that they were taking there morning nap too early. It was becoming part of their nights sleep - they would wake at 5am, stay awake, feed and then fall asleep again about 9/9.30am. When I managed to ease out the morning nap til a little later, the 5am wakenings stopped.

I'm not saying it will work, its just trial and error, but the book can help a lot.

lilysma · 28/06/2007 21:21

Thanks, I actually have it and have tried to follow his suggestions, but to no avail so far. I don't think her morning nap is too early (usually at about 10 when she gets up at 7.30 at the latest) unless you count the sleep after 4ish until 7ish as a nap ! I agree, though, the book is generally useful and I wouldn't have attempted cc without it.

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