Newborn- desperate for sleep

9 replies

Tilliebean · 15/10/2018 09:01

DD2 arrived last Wednesday (6 days old). She’s a lovely baby and good feeder. However sleep is proving very difficult. DP and I are already at breaking point. I totally appreciate and understand the idea of the fourth trimester but we literally have no safe space that DD2 will sleep in night or day.
DD1 was difficult as well and ended up only sleeping on our chests until 4 weeks old, when we got a Sleepyhead. I am really keen not to have DD2 on my chest all night. It feels so unsafe and it’s also not sustainable for DP and I to hold her in shifts all night. The overlap in handing her over is meaning that we are lucky to get 3-4 hours of very broken sleep a night. We end up having to be in the living room with the tv on to stand any chance of staying awake, which isn’t helping DD2 learn about night/day. Plus we are both terrified of falling asleep with her on the sofa.
We have tried getting her in the Sleepyhead, which isn’t working too well. I’ve tried setting up a safe co-sleeping space in our bed. Didn’t really work. I’ve clothes that smell like me, a hot water bottle. We have a white noise machine and swaddling seems hit or miss. Basically I need ideas of things we can try or some idea of when things might get better.
We live far away from our families so don’t have support readily available. My mum and sister are coming to visit from next Sunday, which will help massively but I am not sure DP and I can keep this going until then. We were both in tears last night!

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ileclerc · 15/10/2018 12:15

I think unfortunately you need to giver her a little more time. 6 days old is teeny tiny. Do whatever you need to to get through the next few weeks.

Is she sleeping on you in the day too?

moaningminnie56 · 15/10/2018 12:24

I hear you. Me and my partner hit a brick wall after a week neither of us was prepared for the lack of sleep. Our little girl cried when we put her down we tried everything too. I spent many nights crying just through pure exhaustion. We are now 10 months in and she sleeps slightly better but still wakes up 2-3 times a night. It hasn't got easier but it's just become the norm. It was only last night we discussed that 5 hours is the most sleep we ever have a night. People are still telling me it gets easier. I want to know "when?" It's frustrating and even more tiring now I'm back at work and my partner works away. You have just got to find the energy wether it be through coffee or support from family members. Catch every break you can. Hang in there. Parenting is hard xx

WerewolfNumber1 · 15/10/2018 12:51

Can I ask what didn’t work about co-sleeping? I really found it the only way to get decent sleep with both DCs. Could you try that again?

Cornishclio · 15/10/2018 13:20

Sympathies. My DGD1 was like this. Do you have a next to me crib you can put next to your bed and you lay your hand on her chest? Does a dummy help?

Original poster

Tilliebean · 15/10/2018 17:25

Mostly only sleeps on us during the day but I managed to get her to co sleep a couple of times in the day. Not consistently though.

I’d be happy to co sleep but she just doesn’t want to lie down! Even really close to me...
We are going to try a dummy tonight. Fingers crossed!

I know it’s early days but I just want her to safely sleep. I’m less concerned about the wake ups.

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Thesearmsofmine · 15/10/2018 17:28

Does she prefer being upright instead of laid down? Could be a sign of reflux?

Original poster

Tilliebean · 16/10/2018 09:58

Well after all that she coslept with me all night last night and everyone got some sleep! Dummy helped a bit and I persevered with swaddling.

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WerewolfNumber1 · 16/10/2018 12:52

That’s great! Hopefully it will keep improving :)

riddles26 · 16/10/2018 22:05

I know exactly what you mean. I am very slightly ahead of you - dc2 is now 2 weeks and we have had exactly the same issue. Like you, I gave in and bought the nest when dc1 was a bit older and she went straight down in it - we never looked back.

This one refused to go down in it at all for the first 10 days so we swaddled and co-slept initially. He is ebf so I put him on his side while he fed and let him fall asleep that way. I then gently rolled him onto his back once fast asleep but stayed close so I was touching him the whole night. Not the most comfortable way of sleeping but safer than falling asleep on armchair and having shifts of staying up just doesn't work when you have a toddler waking up at 7. Good news is that I started putting the nest in bed with me 2 days ago and slowly putting him in there and am getting 2 hour stretches out of him that way at night so there is hope that your one will do the same too soon.

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