Is there something I'm doing wrong?! Zzzz

[HarriboHarribo]

Please help me. My daughter is 14 months old. Still breastfed. But cannot for the life of me get her to sleep in her own bed. She settles down to sleep at 9 (always on me, has never settled herself to sleep on her own) I can usually put her into her own bed no problems. (in her own room, she has been sleeping like this in her own room since 8 months because she's a very light sleeper and the rustles of our bed covers used to wake her). But then at around 11-12 she wakes up. I've noticed she never wants boob from me at this time. Just cuddles. It doesn't matter how much of a deep sleep she is in, I can never put her back down after this time and end up with her in our bed. She doesn't sleep next to me on the pillow she sleeps ON me. The whole night, and it's restless, broken sleep. And just recently she has been waking at 5:30 am ready to get up. This early start wouldn't be much of a problem if I had managed to have a good few hours of sleep. This is not only causing problems with mine and daughters sleep but now partner too. Not to mention other small arguments this is causing due to never having any time to ourselves. Please tell me where I am going wrong. I am willing to stop breastfeeding if need be but not sure where or how to start if she can't settle herself (it seems to be more of a comfort thing now). Thanks in advance

My son needed constant comforting during the night at that age. We switched to a bed in his room at 13 months (mattress on floor) rather than a cot and that made a big difference.

I weaned at 17 months (he had first sleepover at grandmas and then didn’t feed during the day so when he woke at night his usual 4 times I gave him dummy and cuddle and he went back to sleep) and since then has been sleeping through.

At about 20 months all of a sudden he started self settling, prior to that we had to lie with him for an hour or two to get him to go to sleep. It was like it all of a sudden it just clicked for him. He’s an absolute dream now, I just get him in to pjs, tuck him in bed and say good night. I never thought we would get there after so long of such terrible sleep.

I would say the best change for us was putting him in his own room on double bed, it means I could put him down and have my evening and our bedroom free of all baby stuff but when he needed me during the night I could go through and sleep there beside him and we could all get the most sleep

Thank you for replying!
I have wondered about getting a single bed in her room and a stair gate and trying that. I love the bond I have with breastfeeding so I'd like to continue for my own benefit really haha. I wondered whether she wasn't settling because she was breastfed so I thought I might try weaning but having her grabbing and pulling at my shirt and crying was heartbreaking for me. When you first switched to a mattress did you sleep in there with him the whole night? Or did you manage to slip away after he had fallen asleep?

I would put him down and then slip away and have the evening to myself. He’s always been a fairly early bedder so it worked for us. Just make sure everything in the room is super baby proofed (though my son never gets out of bed, he just cries in bed until I come to him). When he was really little I had a video monitor set up to see what he was up to.
When he cried during the night (say midnight or 1) I would just transfer through to his room and sleep in there for the rest of the night. The reason we went for small double rather than single was so that I could sleep there comfortably if required.

The only time he didn’t settle overly well was when I worked a 12hour shift and he hadn’t seen me all day. Could you try getting your partner to settle her one night to try and get her used to not needing to feed to sleep the whole time?