7.5 month old, not just a bad sleeper - more an insomniac.

[TLH0307]

Is there actually something wrong with her? Serious question? She goes to sleep in her cot at 7pm with a sleeping bag, room temperature fine, full tummy, not had too much or too little sleep during the day (1.5/2 hours)...and she wakes up at 10pm!!! It used to be 1am, then regressed to 12am, then 11pm, now it’s 10pm. I can’t cope. She doesn’t go back to sleep until 3:30/4am if I’m lucky, and will only go to sleep next to me. Then up at 6:30 (again if I’m lucky). Tell me how I’m supposed to survive off 2.5 hours sleep?

I’ve tried EVERYTHING. She has a MyHummy, a Sleepyhead, I’ve tried a variation of nap times and bedtimes, she’s had a bedtime routine since 2 weeks old, tried controlled crying but she vomits so I can’t stick with that, tried the “little ones sleep program”, read every book. Is there something wrong with her? She’s not slept since she was 4 months old (and neither have I unless she’s slept at her grandparent’s, but I don’t want to inflict sleepless nights on my parents or DH’s parents). What the bloody hell do I do? I’m on the verge of quitting my job because I can’t function. I can get help in terms of someone coming round during the day while I sleep but I don’t want to be nocturnal. It’s not just a phase, this is 3.5 months of pure hell. I feel bad for saying I look back at my life before baby and wish I’d just stuck with that. I can’t cope with this any longer.

What does she do during that time?

Ekphrasis - She just lies next to me wide eyed, kicking me, slapping me, throwing her dummy out...not crying! Just awake. And impossible to settle. Last night she kept nodding off then after 30 seconds she’d kick about and whinge...just fights any sleep. I’m at my wits end. She’s already woken up and I only put her down 45 minutes ago. I’m in for yet another long night (ah well what’s another one night on top of 4 months?!)

Sounds awful. Are you breastfeeding or formula feeding? How much sleep is she getting in 24 hours?

This does sound terrible, I’m sorry it’s so rubbish! It does seem a very small amount of sleep in the day. Have you spoken to your HV about her sleep? Even my DD who is a rubbish sleeper manages around 12 hrs over 24hrs at 9 months, your LO has a lot less than that. Is she grumpy/overtired in the daytime?

Probably an obvious question but have you checked for teething/illness etc? Usually we give DD a dose of Calpol if she’s been awake for an hour or so and doesn’t settle.

The “sleep aids” don’t work for us either. Is she any better if she starts in your bed rather than the cot? It was around 7.5 months that DD started waking every 20-30 mins after being put in the cot. Got sick of having to go into her room to settle constantly so just put her to bed in our bed now and it’s easier for all of us.

Hope things get better though, it’s tough.

I would get a professional in. My third was horrendous. He did cry and had other issues, food intolerances and other stuff but it was hell on earth. I took him to an osteopath who was awesome, I felt it helped.

At 9 months, I called in www.gentlesleepsolutions.co.uk/about-childrens-sleep-specialists.html based in Leeds. I had another one with my first in London but that is so long ago now, I can't remember her name. If you happen to be in the New Forest, I have a nanny friend who is pretty good sleep consultant.

Anyway, it was the best money I have ever spent. It didn't get him sleeping through the night but we did get more sleep. I was on my knees and at the edge of sanity!!

My DS is nearly 2.5 but we've had periods of long night wakings from about 12 months and still does now at times. He's had a spell of it recently thanks to teething, a cold and a holiday which has been hard after months of sleeping through.

We are usually able to leave him to it in his cot and doze ourselves but always eventually needs cuddling back to sleep ( he self settles fine).

Teething has always been an issue, waking up in pain then doesn't go back to sleep quickly and then up for 2-2.5 hours. His record is 4.5 hours. Then after a couple of nights he's chronically overtired and even less likely to settle and it takes days even a week or more to catch up and get him out of it.

Your baby is younger and there's plenty of reasons why this might be happening teething, sleep regression, developmental leap, learning to crawl/stand, hunger, separation anxiety, bad habits, too hot/cold and then they get overtired. From my limited experience its combatting overtiredness that helps the most as its a vicious cycle. More or longer naps, earlier bedtime, reduce length of awake time. And potentially try some calpol/neurofen just in case it's teething.

It will get better, it's utter shite now though. I ate a lot of cake!

The nodding off then waking very soon after sounds like overtired. My son does it, he does the jerks like when you are falling asleep and feel like your falling and wakes startled. We know he's very tired when he does that and me or DH have to keep hold of him or keep patting him until he's properly asleep. (And sit there by his cot for another 10 mins to make sure).

That sounds horrific.

What's she like in the day? Is she trying to do something eg roll, crawl?

One way to reset things is to get as much out door sun and fresh air as humanly possible - hard I appreciate when you're tired too. If you've ever used a sling with her try having her in that as much as possible or if she's used to the pram use that but make sure she gets daylight. If naps are short and frequent, that's ok as long as they're light. It might take a few days but the idea is the circadian rhythm is reset.

Thank you for all your responses!
Thingymaboob - I’m formula feeding now and she’s taking little bits of solid food here and there but not much. And I figured out she probably (it varies) averages about 1.5 hours during the day and maybe 5 or 6 broken hours between 7pm and 6am? (Good god! 😩)

Cottipus - She is the happiest and loveliest baby during the day - so content and smiley...which shocks me with her having so little sleep! I’ve spoken to the HV who basically said give it a week or so but don’t be afraid to call back if it continues. I don’t know if taking her to the doctor would be any use, I suppose I could try it. It can’t be healthy for her finding it so tricky to stay in a deep sleep! She doesn’t have a temperature or any other signs of illness, no teeth yet but chomping a lot teething is a possibility, but calpol made no difference the other night when I tried it.

Forgivenessisdivine - I’m considering a sleep consultant! Thank you for the recommendation. Could you give me a brief outline of how they work/what they do??

Tobykins - oh god you sound like you have it as bad as me, comforting but alarming at the same time, I was hoping by 2.5 my girl may decide she needs a decent night of sleep 😂

Ekphrasis - she’s trying hard to crawl at the minute! Burying her head in the carpet and lifting her bum up til she moves haha. I was thinking maybe it’s due to development etc but it’s gone on way before she’s started trying to crawl, so I’m at a loss! Ugh. Babies, eh?! Confusing little creatures!

Thank you all x

Bless you I can’t imagine what that must be like! As others have said, perhaps a sleep specialist/ gp visit.

But if it’s teething I use liquid ibuprofen rather than calpol (which is liquid paracetamol) as it relieves teething pain a lot better.

Basically, the sleep consultant went through things that I had already learned from books and tried but put together a plan for us to work on, reiterated the importance of finding a way through and all.of us working together. It involved my husband and I and we recorded what we were doing and reported back. At times it felt like she was saying 'it will work' while I was thinking 'you have no idea what it is really like to be here in the middle of the night at the edge of sanity!!' Having a plan that we had to stick to as well as having paid for it, made a difference.

Timing of feeds and getting DS to eat more during the day was one factor. Learning to self settle was another and really implementing the limited interaction in the night between the hours of 10pm and 4 am was crucial. Getting his best sleep when I was also asleep was also a good idea. Even if this means you going to bed at 7 when she does.. is worth a try.

I have had three children and not everything works for every child but it is important to know that they do need rest and the hormones related to sleep are necessary for all of you. You should not believe that your baby simply does not need sleep. And it can be improved.

Don't expect that a two week programme will result in a 7 to 7 sleeper but if you get 10 till 4 with one or two brief wakening then this is an improvement. The second one we used plant start before 9 months and I am not sure she would recommend cosleeping.