Almost 1, never slept, I hate my life.

[Corastiredmummy]

Please help, if my baby doesn't start sleeping properly soon I'm going to walk out this house and never see her again. She is 1 in a few weeks, has always been a terrible sleeper but recently it's got to the point where I actually regret ever having her. She wakes up CONSTANTLY through the night, I'm talking every 30 - 45 minutes. She had a nasty virus for 2 weeks which has left her with a lingering cough which flares up at night, so all in all she's been out of sorts for 4 weeks. She has always been bottle fed using formula as I could not breast feed. She's recently mastered walking with a baby walker. She has all 8 front teeth and I think her molars may be trying to come through to completely destroy our lives. I put her in my bed and she just tosses and turns, smacks me in the face, fidgets and kicks so that's no good. Back in her cot she wakes constantly. I AM AT MY WITTS END. I now thoroughly dislike being a mum and all the bull that goes with it.
Do not contact me if you're going to try and sell me a sleep programme, as much as I'd probably like it and it may help - I do not have the money.
Please, if anyone has any helpful tips or advice they are willing to offer without a monetary exchange, help. Thank you.

DS was the same with his dummy, we got one of those little comforter things with the teddy on a little blanket. I tied a dummy to each corner and then he managed to find it during the night and put it back in himself.

I also second the supper idea a PP has suggested. DS was waking every night for a feed, I started giving him porridge before bed and now he's going through again.

Just picking up on the point about sleeping bags and blankets, DS started getting out of his sleeping bad and then got cold during the night. We got him the Sleep Snuggler from Jojo Maman Bebe which is like a sleeping bag crossed with a baby grow. It's sleeping bag material but with arms and legs. Not cheap at £35 but it has solved that problem for us.

www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/striped-sleep-snuggler-d9292.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIz96foans3QIVy7XtCh3JRAGPEAQYASABEgJAjPD_BwE

Just another thought, have you tried white noise? We use the myhummy one which has a sensor but also lets you put it on constantly for 12 hours, which is what we do. We used it from day 1 so not sure whether it would work for an older baby whose not used to it, but you can get apps or just play it on you tube on your phone to give it a go before forming out for something that might not work.

Just reread your most recent post and it looks like you're prepared to try some sleep training. I did with DS and it was the absolute best thing I did. We did controlled crying, so cry for 3 mins, soothe for 2 mins, cry for 5 mins, soothe for 2 mins, and so on increasing he crying by 2 minutes each time. It took one night and we got to 10 minutes of crying once. I figured all of that crying combined was way less than him waking up crying throughout the night, so don't feel bad about it if you decide to try it. Having said that, I also used the little ones sleep guide and it said by 12 months you coming into their room repeatedly can make them think you're coming to get them up, so you might want to research some methods specifically for your DC's age.

Promise I don't work for myhummy or Little ones! As you can probably tell we've tried all sorts so just sharing what we've had success with in a hope that it might help.

If you're on instagram, follow the midwife mumma. She's a lovely Australian midwife with several children of her own, she is very honest on her account and I've picked up some really useful tips from there.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I've been there. My DD is 22 months now and life is much more bearable.
My DD wouldn't co sleep with us but having her in a cot was a nightmare, she moved around so much and would wake herself up by hitting the sides (bumpers didn't do a thing.) We ended up getting a toddler bed with barriers and it gave her so much more room to move around her sleep really did improve, we also used "controlled crying" techniques and bonjela teething gel which also helped to soothe her before bed.

Not really sure what else to suggest as all babies are different, but please don't shy away from sleep training techniques if you are happy to do so, it will benefit all of you in the long run. It's not about leaving them to cry until they are in a complete state, just gradually getting them used to settling themselves. My DD is now a very happy toddler as she's well rested and she even enjoys going to bed.. she gets her blankie and waits at the bottom of the stairs when I say it's time for night night.

I was in your position though and it was truly tough, sleep deprivation is torture and you can't think straight. I hope you manage to find some strategies that will improve things and just remember that it won't last forever

Time to drop one of the naps? Transitioning will be a pain in the arse but if it leads to better nights worth it IMO.

Great advice from pp.

Also please consider dropping daily calpol.

We had this with dd1 for a while, waking 20+ times a night. Turned out she was hungry, HV suggested feeding her pudding after lunch and tea, so I prepared baby rice and puréed fruit for a nice filling pudding after meals, fed her until she didn’t want anymore (was a good sized plastic baby bowl), and low and behold from THAT night she slept through again.

If you’re anywhere near Coventry I’ll have her for a night so you can sleep!

Have you also tried altering the temperature? My son sept badly for a stretch because I hadnt realised he was a bit cold in his room.
Could also try altering the lighting? Changing position of the cot... cot mobiles etc The size of the bed. The mattress softness etc Playing music or an audio book?

I agree with PP in taking turns of whole nights with your partner so that both of you manage to get a solid block of sleep here and there.

Thanks everyone for your advice, so kind of you all and to the lady in Coventry bless you, so lovely but I'm in Yorkshire! Still, could be worth the drive! Haha. My husband has taken her up to Scotland this weekend, it's been planned for ages (his family live there) and it's so nice getting a break! I'm going to go through all the advice here, there are some great suggestions so THANK YOU all so much. I hope one day I can be like a lot of the replies and help someone else in this situation when my daughter is finally sleeping through...hopefully that day will be soon!! It's hilarious, I work for a company called Stress No More but I'm probably the most stressed person ever

None of mine were good sleepers at all. Well, one was but he was a twin and his brother was awful so he’d get woken up.

We tried everything between the four of them including paying sleep consultants etc but nothing worked until they got to around 18mnths.
It was like a switch had been flicked and they suddenly got it.

You’re doing everything ‘right’ so, if you’ve tried everything you’re comfortable with, then hang on in there.

Sleep training made one of ours much worse and worked for another until he got a cold, then we were back to square one.

There’s an ancient post somewhere on here by nectarina that really helped us.
I’ll have a look and try and post a link.

It’s grim though but it really won’t last forever. Grab any sleep you can and definitely give each other lie ins at the weekend/alternate mornings etc.

Honestly do controlled crying ( jo frost) , 3 nights and you’re done. Do it properly and it will work.

Found it

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

A change is as good as a rest. A break for her too might reset things and she might come back a different kid.

Sorry I haven't read the full thread which I know is naughty of me but I did the jo frost super nanny controlled crying and it worked after 2 nights. I have seen a pp suggest this also.

If my DD went back through a phase of waking I would just re-do it to get back on track.

corastiredmummy I am in the same boat but am getting longer stretches of sleep since leaving blankets and sleeping bags behind. I was recommended these and they are brilliant. They are called “walk in sleepers” by mothercare. They are reduced on their website just now.
Basically they are wadded 2.5 tog sleepsuits. I use them on top of pjs or on top of normal sleepsuit with no vests . In a 21degree room (or there abouts)

My little one kicked blankets off and woke up, got tangled in sleeping bags and woke up. These mean baby can toss and turn all they want and not get cold! And no kicking covers off, or worries about blankets on the head. Grippers on feet for coming down for breakfast in the morning too so don’t slip.

Thoroughly recommend. They have been on sale so limited stock but will come back in and worth a shot for £13 ish.
Good luck

Again it sounds like a dummy issue. She has two key things cracked. One she can fall asleep (with a dummy) and two can mostly go back to sleep (with a dummy). So your problem is that every time she hits a light sleep cycle ie every 45 mins she is looking for that dummy. I would ditch the dummy and shush pat and see what happen. Basically she hasn’t learned how to connect her sleep cycles so is waking up.

I had a bad sleeper in ds1, ditched the dummy at 18 mo after very similar sleep patterns to yours and it got better.
For complicated medical reasons DS2 had a dummy, but we got rid of it at 6 months and he is a MUCH better sleeper than his brother ever was.

Big hugs to you, tiredmummy - and to Cora, she must be having a shit time too :(

It will get better. Lots of good suggestions here from other people - try anything that seems sensible. Even if it doesn't work, it'll get you another few nights closer to when she finally sleeps through! and

It’s really difficult waking with your baby. But your post concerned me and made me wonder if you are suffering from PND?

Mine woke every 30-45 minutes for the first year of life and then it gradually got better. What worked for me:

• cosleeping
• napping with her when I can
• dropping the side off her cot and putting it next to our bed so at least we all have room

Do try to remember it’s not her fault. She is being a baby, she’s not manipulating you. Try to just work out how you can get the most rest.

So two of my three children were not good sleepers, one didn't sleep through till he was three, the other is only little still so time will tell. These are the things I have tried that have helped (they are the type of children that controlled crying only made things worse for as well, one of mine would do the gagging thing too);

-white noise for the times when they are really unsettled and nothing seems to work, also singing, daddy talking in a low voice, talk sport radio on at a low level, etc

-more food during the day. One of mine was not a big eater and just wanted the boob all night, I made a concerted effort to feed him alot more actual food in the day plus milk, aiming for like 6 small meals, all stuff he could feed himself and that really helped

-reducing to just one nap a day from 11 months and no sleeping after 3pm rule made a huge difference to night waking

-co sleeping but I get that doesn't work for you, could you try side sleeping so like a cot with the side down by your bed (if you get what I mean) so you can soothe them without having to get up?

-exhausting them during the day with lots of activities, trips and physical activity also exhausts me though so I live on coffee!

Also it's worth remembering all babies are different and you've done nothing wrong, some children just aren't ready to sleep through till a bit later. I'm sorry, I know it's hard but it doesn't last forever and you are doing your absolute best. Go easy on yourself and take any support and help you can. You will get through this always reach out for help when you need to, it's bloody hard work.

Forgot to add, don't underestimate power of teething gel, there have been times, not every time, were it has been a life saver and the only thing that's settled them!

Lack of sleep sucks. Things we did which worked for us, most of which have been mentioned, were porridge before bed every night, white noise (we just put a song on repeat on an old iPhone and use a portable speaker in his room), blackout blinds and I velcroed 5 dummies to the bars near him in his cot so he could find them in the night.

I did resort to sleeping on his bedroom floor once or twice holding his hand through the bars . Good luck.

DS was a terrible sleeper until very recently so I feel your pain

He had/has CMPA and silent reflux though, presumably you have ruled out those and any other possible medical issues?

Assuming you have (or have got them under control), I suggest you do sleep training.

I avoided sleep training for a long time - too long - but it saved our sanity. We’re all sleeping better and happier as a result.

Find the method that works for you and sticks to it. You don’t have to do “cry it out” (in fact most sleep consultants and “experts” advise against it) but controlled crying, gradual retreat, pick up put down, are all options. You can adapt them for whatever suits you and your baby.

DS never took to a dummy but it does sounds as if that’s an issue. Getting rid of it might be hard but might help? Or once baby is old enough to find the dummy and put it back then the problem might resolve itself.