Help - 4 month sleep regression broke my baby

[harrietm87]

My baby is 5 months and ebf. We have a next2me but he’s never slept in it as would wake and scream every time we transferred him in from birth, so have been co-sleeping. This was fine when he only woke once or twice at night but for the last month he’s been waking every hour and insisting on feeding to sleep. I’m exhausted. I know I need to teach him to self settle in the cot and not feed to sleep but hate to hear him cry. Does anyone have any recommendations for techniques they’ve used? He’s also quite small (25th centile) so part of me has been afraid to deny him food at night. I don’t mind feeding him every 4-5 hours or so, it’s just that every hour is breaking me.

There's no reason not to feed to sleep. He's still very little so attempting to teach self-settling seems pointless, although I'm sure others will disagree. My DD just gradually got better after the 4 month regression. FWIW, she never ever went as long as 4-5 hours between feeds while she was being breastfed (up until 1), the girl loves milk 🤷‍♀️😂

Thanks @spam88. He feeds frequently in the day (every 2hrs) but before the 4 month sleep regression he was doing 4-5 hr stretches at night. He went to bed at 7 and I fed him at 11 and 4am usually.

I would happily keep feeding him to sleep if that was the routine now, but he’s literally waking every hour at night and demanding to be fed. He can’t be hungry - he just thinks he needs to suck to sleep. I’ve tried a dummy and he completely refuses it. I’ve never so much as left him in a room on his own (as per the guidance) but as he won’t take a bottle either 5 months of doing every single feed and night waking have really worn me down.

My Ds2 was like this! We rolled with it for a bit and j went to bed early, then I started feeding him and handing him straight over to DH to settle either in arms or the sling and put into the bassinet (and resettle him if needed). It meant that he would have 4 or so hours straight at the start of the night, and he gradually stretched the rest - I had to go to bed at 7-8pm myself when he did, but at least I got a good chunk of sleep once a night, and it's not forever.

I totally understand, I did all the night wakings as well because I was bf and it's only after she turned 1 she occasionally started sleeping through 🙈 I assume he won't go to sleep with just a cuddle? Mine never did but then I also probably gave in a bit too soon because it was so much easier to just let her have boob so she'd go straight back to sleep. Despite no sleep training or any effort to night wean though, she does generally sleep through now at 16 months, and has been for a few months. So there is hope, although I appreciate that probably sounds an age away to you right now.

20 weeks and exactly the same here. Some nights better if I sleep raised on pillows holding him and occasionally will accept a dummy. It's really hard but does pass eventually, a cold hasn't helped either.