2-1 nap transition with long morning nap and nursery start thrown into the mix... wisdom please!!

[MunsteadWood]

Seeking some advice re 12mo DSs naps.

For background, his normal routine is:
6-6.30am wake and milk
7-7.30am breakfast
9/9.30am long nap - normally at least 1hr often 1.5hrs, generally in his cot (if out and about in buggy he'd prob only do 30 mins)
12/12.30 lunch
3/4pm short second nap, 30mins (normally out in pushchair)
5.30 dinner
6.30 bath
7.30 milk and bed

He often needs resettling 30 mins or so after going down for the night (which is a topic for another thread!) but otherwise sleeps through the night (in own cot in own room) most nights, very occasionally has one short wake around 4-5am but resettles easily. He is almost always either fed or rocked to sleep but because he doesn't wake in the night I've not really seen this as a problem.

But... two issues have cropped up which make me think this schedule needs to change.

1. His afternoon nap has started getting trickier, with the result that a few times recently he's refused a second nap then conked out about 5.30pm because he's been awake since late morning, meaning he then won't go down at bedtime.

1. He's just started nursery 2 days per week and is struggling with their schedule which has nap time after lunch 12-2pm. The staff could try to stick to his current routine, but I can't help but feel (particularly in light of issue 1) that it would be better if we could try to shift his big nap to after lunch (maybe with a mid morning short power snooze until he's ready to drop to 1 nap only). The nursery staff agreed this would help him (and them too, I am sure!)

DH (who is generally the optimist in our marriage where I am the worrier!) thinks it'll all be fine and we don't need to do anything, nursery will help him adjust. But because DS is only going to nursery 2 days per week I don't think he's going to naturally shift to a long post lunch nap without some help from us. So I'd like to try and shift his schedule a bit.

But I have no idea how to do it! Should I try to keep him awake in the morning and shift his morning nap gradually later? Or put him down early for morning nap so he isn't as tired and wakes after a short time (and then might have afternoon nap earlier)? Or something else?

All his little baby friends (who mostly have a short nap in the morning then a long nap after lunch) are gradually starting to shorten/drop their morning naps and focus on the big post lunch one, which seems a lot easier to manage.

Not sure how to tackle this so seeking any MN wisdom....... TIA!

I think I’d still put him down for a morning nap but try to limit it to half an hour or so? Then try and get him down roughly at the same one nursery would? They do adjust to nursery schedules though as my 14m DS still has two long naps at home but only one long nap at nursery (he’s been going since 9m though so is maybe more settled?)

Thanks so much; that's reassuring to hear that your DS settled too and manages different schedules at nursery and at home. Do you mind me asking how many days pw he is in nursery? As our DS is only there 2 days out of 7 I guess we could just accept he might not sleep so much on those two days and make sure he gets good naps to catch up when he's at home... but then with the problems we've been having with his afternoon nap getting later and later I think something needs to change anyway.

I'll try your suggestion of keeping his morning nap short (although it goes against all my instincts to wake him! And I will miss my down time in the mornings too haha...) and see how that goes. Thanks again.

Mine only goes 2 days a week as well, he’s exhausted after them but I make sure he gets as much sleep as he wants the next day.

You’re right about your instincts. You’re always told never wake a sleeping baby! I only say it because I know people who have had success with the Little Ones Sleep Programme and that’s what they suggest you do (although I’ve never actually tried it myself).