Help - want to stop co-sleeping

[MissSleepyMcsleeperson]

DS is nearly 10 months old and we have been co-sleeping (bed-sharing) for a while now. It started when he caught a nasty cold at around 7 months and was the only way we're getting any sleep. DS did go back to starting the night off in the cot, but since we've had to lower the cot he just simply won't sleep in it. Even if I try and put him in there once he's asleep - i think it's too low for me lower him in as this seems to wake him up now and he's just so used to our bed.

I am suffering with terrible back ache from sleeping in the 'c' shape around him and always on the same side (we have the cot next to the bed so he can't roll out). I'm also not sleeping very well as I'm so worried he's going to wake up and crawl/roll off the bed. Finally, I get very little time to myself or with my DH as one of us always sits with him while he's asleep. I don't actually mind having him in our bed, but the combination of these factors it's just getting too much now.

Does anyone have any suggestions for getting him back in his cot? Although I realise he will protest to a certain degree, CC or CIO isn't for us, so I'm looking for a softer approach (I realise this will take longer, and that's fine). Has any one successfully transitioned baby back into their cot? I have been considering buying a nest (sleepyhead or purflo) and perhaps starting him off in that on our bed, then once he's used to it, putting it in his cot - do you think that would work?

Well it’s pretty simple (not simple) but you just have to put him in his cot. All babies cry a bit as a complaint about stuff at times and that is in no way CIO or CC. Maybe even just the amount of time you need to go to the loo would be enough for him to decide he’ll go to sleep but I’m not sure how you expect any child to learn anything they don’t want to with no crying. It’s all they have to communicate. Sorry I’m not the best person to advise as I think you can’t teach a child certain things without them feeling some discomfort or unhappiness at times.

RE the sleepyhead, I don’t think it will work. They are too smart at 10 months in my experience tobe foiled by stuff like that.

Fooled

I fully expect him to protest (cry) - however, I am interested in any strategies anyone has actually used. Do I just stay with him/comfort him in the cot? Pick him up if he needs calming down? He just stands up otherwise, do I just lay him back down? There is such a lot of info out there, no cry sleep methods, pick up put down... I'm just after hearing peoples experiences of what worked for them

We only managed it once he was old enough for his own full size single bed - so able 18 months sorry. As could lie with him to get him to sleep.
( he has a bed guard on one side to stop him rolling out and other side against wall )

I've not tried this but what if you increase the height of the cot again so you don't have to lower him to far, but remove the legs ? So if he did climb then out not as far to fall and then completely baby proof his roof plus child gate and monitor on? No toys in cot. This might be a stupid idea which I didn't think of at the time . I was thinking of cutting the legs off an old woodencot to make a play pen so gave me the idea.

This won’t stop cosleeping but put the mattress on the floor and then you don’t have to stay in bed with him. If you have a spare room then your and DH can take turns sleeping in the spare room.

I don't think you have to accept they will cry.

I do think you have to decide whether you want him to sleep in his cot or sleep independently of you.

My DD coslept and transitioned into a single bed at 16 mo with me cosleeping there for the next few months whilst we night weaned.

With DS we knew we were unlikely to bother even trying with the cot so he coslept from the start. Then at 12mo we moved him to a double mattress on the floor of his room (a Montessori bed if you don't want to say mattress on the floor!). I would feed him to sleep there, escape and lie with him for any wake ups. He soon started sleeping though, then had a blip but was sleeping through by 14mo. We then moved house at 17mo and he's gone into a full size single with a foam wedge bed guard.

I would absolutely recommend the mattress on the floor route. It seemed a natural transition from cosleeping for us and confirmed that cots most definitely aren't for everybody.

Perhaps the mattress on the floor is a better idea, I hadn't thought of that! Thank you Angel and Teaandbuscuits

I don't have an issue with him sleeping the bed, it's more just the backache and not being able to have any time to myself. When we did put him in his own room at 6 months, I felt more tired as getting up to feed him was more disruptive - and he seems a long way off stopping night feeds.

That sounds like a good idea Broom - but thinking about this has made me think more about the cot situation. He is already trying to climb out of his playpen downstairs, so I'm sure he would do the same in a cot!!

How are you going OP? I read this thread with interest as I too would like to break the co sleeping habit. Is anything working for you?

Hey Sylvester - sorry for the slow reply.

I'm pleased to say things have improved. A few days ago I tried putting him in his cot and he just went with it. Admittedly I cuddled him to sleep and then lowered him in - he stirred, looked around and then just drifted back off to sleep. He's been sleeping in there since, until around 3am - I can't seem to settle him back in his cot after this time. He has slept in a little later too (although back in bed with me), past 5am which feels like a lie in right now! I have also been offering him water before milk, and he's been going longer stretches before waking. Small steps, but he's getting the idea and I'm very pleased with him - and no tears thus far either!

Im really not sure what's changed, as I've tried many times before but he's finally decided he doesn't hate his cot anymore. We had been putting toys in there and letting him play in there in the morning so not sure if that helped?

I co sleep with my 10 month old, husband now sleeps on a camp bed next to the double I desperately want to have a little more space/ me time as I am currently going to bed at the same time as her. When I put her down to sleep at 7.30 I feed her to sleep, if I sneek downstairs she wakes every 30 mins, by 9pm I have given up and got in bed for the night with her. I really dont know how to break this cycle but may try the mattress on the floor method

Haha @MrsN022015 you have just described what I've done this evening (and many, many evenings!). I don't know how to break the cycle either. I suppose do we have to be completely disciplined ourselves in order to insist on cot? It's so hard keeping the motivation in the small hours when you know that if you just bring dc into bed with you it'll all be fine. Every night I say the same mantra as I do when I'm about to go on a diet:

"Let's just start properly tomorrow"

@MissSleepyMcsleeperson thank you so much for your update. It's so good to hear things can improve (and by the sounds of it, quite suddenly and unexpectedly). It's great you're making it work now. There is hope!!!

Even though I actually quite like sleeping with DC

Indeed there is hope! He's doing ever so well-- and my backache has gone hurrah - so I'm very pleased and a little bit sad as I miss it--