1st time sleep problem in a 22 month old

[twick]

Hi, I've been pretty lucky with dd so far, she's been relatively good at sleeping, goes off ok at night and usually does a straight through 11 hours and an hour or two in the day in her cot. Just this last week though she's been getting very upset at nap times. She's, so far, still been ok at going down at night. Nothing at all has changed in her life or routine, she's not unwell or teething. She just stands in her cot saying 'hello mummy' and getting more and more hysterical. Yesterday I went down and settled her on and off for about 30 mins and then gave up and lay down on the fold-out bed in her room and she slept immediately next to me for an hour. I know she's tired as during storytime beforehand she's relaxed and yawns a bit and like I said yesterday she went to sleep immediately I was there. I did cc with her once at about 13 months after she'd been ill and had 'forgotten' how to get to sleep on her own. I hated doing it though it did work when all else failed but I'm not sure about doing it just for daytime naps. I would take her out in the pram but she never sleeps properly in the pram and ends up over-tired at the end of the day.

Any ideas why this might be happening or what's the best thing to do?

Oh twick how odd I was going to post something similar, have no answer for you though, sorry! My 23 mo dd has just started waking in the night demanding a bottle for the first time since she was 8 months old (other than if she is ill).

I too was wondering whether I should try cc again. It's even harder though when you can hear her saying "where's my mummy" and sobbing. Worse that just the screaming first time Has anyone done cc this late?

Yes, I totally agree, Countess. It's strangely easier to 'ignore' crying than it is to ignore a direct plea with your name attached to it. I'm currently in the throes of one of the nap times I mentioned. It's crazy, I can hear her yawning and yawning and her calls of 'hello mummy' are getting weaker and weaker but she just won't give in and sleep. I'll probably cave in soon and go down.

Not sure this is advice as such but thought I'd share what has recently worked for us. My dd was 2 last week and certainly for about the last 6 months we had been having problems with her in her cot. She would sleep in it mostly but only if I left her in to cry it out before nodding off. We could also not go back into her room afterwards because she would wake up and want out immediately. After much thought I decided that it was probably time to get her a bed and so just over a week ago we swapped her bedroom with the bigger spare room and bought her a new bed. It is such a difference at night now as she gets into bed and does not cry at all, says night night and is very happy. I can even go in to her room once she's asleep and turn off her nightlight. On the one occasion she has woken back up she was more than happy to stay in the bed and I could hear her chatting to herself . The only problem we have had in the last 10 nights has been her waking early and "investigating" the contents of her nappy . After two nights of this I put her back in her grobag and she seems even happier about this than the new duvet! It has also helped daytime naps as when she sees the grobag she knows it is nap time and is quite compliant (although I admit it may have something to do with having a dolly sized grobag for her baby annabell who sleeps with her - novelty factor and all that!). I really feel that a lot of the sleep issues we were having were because she wanted a bed like everyone else but still needed the security of the grobag, which I had put away at the beginning of the summer. I had done the sleeping on the floor thing so many times and was worried about my baby going into a bed but I'm so glad she is now as it makes for a much more peaceful life. Twick/CD I'm not sure if that is a help to you both but I really hope you find a solution soon .

God, I think that is the longest post I have ever written. Sorry if you nodded off in the process of reading .

Supernanny does something like, you lie with her at first, then you sit on the edge of the bed, then you sit in a chair in the room, then you move to near the door, and then out of the door. Or you could tough it out as a phase, or she might need her nap a little later so she's more tired.

Thanks for the replies. Today was much worse than yesterday, she wouldn't even sleep with me on the bed so I resorted to taking her out in the pouring rain in her pram where she did her usual crap 20 min. pram catnap and was exhausted for the rest of the day.

Bagpuss30 I didn't nod off, I love long replies. If you'd sung it to me gently as a lullaby I'd probably have gone to sleep by the second sentence I'm so exhausted today. I have wondered very seriously about getting her a bed. She's interested in the 'big bed' in her room and when we went to Ikea (groan ...) recently she wanted to get in ALL the little beds and asked us to buy her one. I've procrastinated about doing it because she's a very fidgety sleeper and I'm sure she'd fall out all the time. She's also never had any kind of blankets / duvet yet, she's been a purely grobag baby so I thought I should get her used to duvets etc. first? And finally, although I think at bedtime she might settle in a bed, at naptime I'm sure she'd be out of it and wandering around in a flash.

aloha, I think maybe a later nap time might be something to try. She seems tired and up until last week has gone to sleep at this time with no problems at all. And she goes to sleep (so far!) without problems at bedtime. So I don't think the 'gradual withdrawal' from the room would help. She seems to get into a kind of 'frenzy' if I'm in the room and I'm not picking her up for a cuddle so I don't think she'd settle at all if I were sitting in there. Up until this problem she used to insist on my leaving the room before she'd lie herself down to sleep, she's never let me lie her down.

Oh, I meant to say that I asked dd this afternoon why she'd got so upset at naptime and she said, 'don't like it on own, in dark.' So I'm going to look out for a nightlight for her. But I find this confusing as her room's less dark by far at naptimes than it is at bedtime when she goes to sleep without a peep.

Maybe she isn't tired at her usual nap time? My ds2 has started to nap 1-1.5hrs later than usual lately possibly because he has been going to bed a bit later and getting up a bit later. His old nap time was 10.30am for 1.5 hrs now he is going down around 11.30-12 (as we have been going out in the mornings now that ds1 has finished playgroup for the summer). He will be 2 next week.

I had untold sleep problems with ds1 when he was 23 mths both during nap time and at bedtime but I think a lot of it was related to ds2 being due to arrive and he switched to a bed and he started to get his final teeth. He also began nursery a few mornings a week so there were lots of factors that could have influenced his sleep problems - he had never slept well at night either. To stop him getting out of bed and roaming around we had to close his door so he couldn't leave his bedroom but he has never been an early riser so it wasn't a problem in the mornings.

Good luck - a few friends especially with dds have told me their dds stopped taking a daytime nap around the age of 2. Ds stopped at around 3 but would still nap now if I let him (just wouldn't go to bed till all hours!!)

Thanks Stripey. Hmm ... it's hard to tell if she's not tired at nap time as I often think she's over-tired, i.e. she went through a tired phase and then got a 2nd wind when I'm trying to put her down for her nap. At the moment she doesn't usually go down til 12ish and sleeps 2 hours (or at least she used to!). If I do it much later I think it will start to affect her going to sleep at bedtime. I actually think she IS tired as she's yawning etc. I think she doesn't want to be left on her own. Though weirdly she doesn't seem to mind being left at bedtime. I'm confused. I actually find it hard to believe she's ready to drop her nap just yet as only a week ago she was sleeping at least 2 hours and seems to really need it. If she slept longer than 11 hours at night I'd consider it but at the moment I don't think 11 hours a day is enough for an under 2-year-old. She's always seemed to be someone who needs her sleep not one of those little nippy wide awake kids who seems to never sleep.

Well then, peculiarly, today I'm at work and dp is at home with dd and she went down for her nap without a whimper ...

Ok. She did it again today for dp, out like a light without a whimper. So ... will she do it for me tomorrow I wonder ???

Alas, put her to bed tonight at 7.45pm and she's only just gone to sleep. It must be something to do with me?!

Are you sure she still needs a daytime nap? My dd is 19 months and occasionally has days when she doesn't sleep. And I know my friend's 23 month old doesn't nap in the day any more. Personally I'm dreading the day when dd gives up her nap, but have kind of resigned myself to the fact that it'll be gone by the time she's 2. She's a very good sleeper at night so I think that makes a difference.

Bramshott, dd sleeps approx. 11 hours at night, sometimes a bit less but never more, so yes I do think she still needs the nap. Only a week ago she was sleeping a good 2 hours each time. If she slept a longer night I might consider that but at the moment when she does skip a nap she's hell by mid-afternoon and too tired to get to sleep properly at night.

How much does your dd and your friend's dd sleep at night? Go on ... make me jealous!!

my dd went through a funny phase at about 20+ months.

The trouble with a daytime nap, is that it is a vicious circle at this age I find with dd. If she naps in the daytime, she sleeps less at night (11) hours, without a daytime nap, she can sleep 13 hours really well and have enough of a lie in to get through till bedtime. I still let her nap occasionally if she is really flagging, but only for 1/2 hour as it upsets the balance.

swk, what age is your dd now? To be honest if I thought dd would do a 13 hour night I'd skip the daytime nap but whenever she's missed it out she doesn't sleep more at night, just the same or even sometimes less so I've kept the daytime sleep going for now.