DT2 waking several times a night

[tkband3]

After nearly 2 years of very hit and miss sleeping with my DTs (2.3) they finally started sleeping well around the New Year... 7.30 - 7ish each night with around a 2 hour nap after lunch. In the last couple of weeks, DT2 has become quite hard to settle at both naptime and bedtime, with me/OH having to go back in a few times sometimes to settle her down and she's also waking several times a night, absolutely screaming the house down.

If she was just whimpering a bit, I'd leave her to settle herself back down, which has never been a problem in the past, but from the screaming it does seem as if she's having nightmares so needs some cuddles and reassurance. I've tried putting a night light in their room, but it hasn't helped - I think the shadows from it scared her even more; I do sometimes leave a light on on the landing after she's woken up. She does normally stop crying the minute I go in and is usually happy to go back down, when I say I'm going back to bed and it's time for her to get back in her cot.

She started pre-school this term (with her DT and it's the same one DD1 goes to) and settled in really well. She was slightly more uncertain when they went back after half term, but the teachers say that once I've left she has a great time and joins in fine, so I don't think that is unsettling her. I've wondered if perhaps she's ready to give up her daytime nap and so isn't tired enough at bedtime. But other than that I'm fresh out of ideas as to how to solve this problem. I'm still getting way more sleep than I was a year ago, when both of them were waking several times a night, but you get out of the habit of sleep deprivation, and this is really taking its toll on me!

Any help/ideas gratefully received.

Ok a few thoughts-

firstly yes she could well be ready to give up the daytime nap. Pick a day when it doesnt matter too much and try it , see what happens.

night lights- have you thought maybe about something like a gloworm, where she could hug they toy for a gentlre light if she wanted it but then felt in control?

I don't now where her comprehension is at but if its good enough I would be thinking along the lines of a pasta jar reward system- mayeb for this age group with a smaller daily reward (play inn park etc). She could be wella ware you will go in and could be trying it on, kids are amrvellous at that

As for the nightmares I think they are common at this age- also look at night terrors (loads on net about them) as they need a different approach- they look scarier to adults than the kids

Perhaps she is ready for a bed now, rather than a cot. My DTs slept better when moved into a bed, although it did create a different problem with getting out and playing instead of sleeping, but the novelty soon wore off.

ooh babe! Will read properly when I'm back!

tkband3, ds1 is just about the same age and we have given up the daytime nap as most days he won't go to bed before 10 if he sleeps at all during the day! Every 3 or 4 days he is tired enough to have a nap and we let him sleep. he isn't quite able to give up the daytime nap but doesn't always need it.
As for the waking up screaming I recently read that around this age the child imagination starts to really take off (I've noticed it, ds1 thinks he is a cat most of the time) and it can lead to nightmares.
If ds1 wakes in the night and won't settle straight back to sleep he comes into bed with us - I think its really common at this age for children to spend at least some of the night in the parents bed.

Thanks for all the suggestions. I think she is a little young for a reward based thingie, although I have used sticker charts for sleeping with good success with DD1. She did have a shorter nap yesterday and went to bed a bit later, in the hope that she would be absolutely shattered and so settle quickly and not wake up...but it didn't work. Took ages to settle and woke up 2x in the night. But I shall keep trying that one.

Had also thought about whether she might be ready for a bed, but am I'd prefer to keep them in their cots for a few more months if possible...although if this does continue I'll rethink.

Have tried bringing her into bed with us, but she just thinks that's great fun and doesn't settle, just pokes me and OH in the eyes till we look at her and chats to us - which is sweet but not very restful.

I think I might just have to get tough - but will visit neighbours first with a bottle of wine to warn them about the potential disturbance!

Thanks again for your help.