14 weeks - wakes 4/5 times at night, refuses days feeds

[Veggy]

Hi, i'm new to mumsnet and have a few issues i need advice on before i go bananas. so, forgive me, this will be a long post!
i have a 14 week old who once ate well and was sort of on the GF routine. this seemed to suit her. in the days she ate long and well and napped pretty well. at night she would often get through to 4 or 5am after the 10.30 feed.
About 4 weeks ago (when she was 10 weeks)all this changed. as she became more alert and more smiley she started to go off her daytime feeds. she would pull away from the breast and arch her back and cry angrily (which she rarely did otherwise). i read lots of posts that seemed to suggest i had a fast let down that she could not handle. this seemed to fit - my milk would spray out when she pulled off. as she was more alert she was starting to realise that every time she fed it was goign to end in tears, so decided not to feed at all - except at night when for some reason none of this happens. so, she nurses quietly and contendedly at night, but pulls off and gets upset during day feeds.
she now wakes after the 10,30 feed at 1, sometimes 2.30, then 4, then 5.50 then 6. or any random times actually, there is absolutly no pattern. at all these feeds she sucks happily for 10 - 15 mins. during day feeds she manages about 2 mins at each feed before getting upset. i am therefore guessing that she is now swapping herself over so that she feeds at night, gaining enough calories to sustain her snackign during the day.
i have therefore had no choice but to ditch all routine. as she is only sucking for a few minutes she now sometimes feeds hourly in the day. yet conversely also refuses feeding for up to 4 hours.
i am losing the plot - waking every 2 hours isn't sustainable. and also, having no routine what so ever is making my days more and more harder to handle.
to top it all i am now suffering from insomnia. my body is now frightened to fall asleep as it has to wake up again every hour and half or so. so, i've gone mad. i have about 2 hours of sleep a night. help me!
i need advice:

1. what to do about fussy eating - am i right about fast let down?
2. what to do about total lack of routine?
3. if i am right about her getting more calories at night, how do i swap her back? and finally, she is little - she's only gained a bit since birth and is only just 10 lbs at 14 weeks. thanks everyone.

I'm by no means an expert but my lo was also a very distractable baby. I read some really interesting articles on www.kellymom.com I found that the only way to get my lo to take a daytime feed was to feed him when he was either really tired or just waking up from a sleep. I'm afraid we were on hourly / 2 hourly wake ups for a long time until I worked on getting him to sleep by himself at about 9/10 months when I was confident he was getting enough milk at other times. It is really tough - my lo had been a great night time sleeper until he was about 4 months and then OMG it was awful. I would really try to sleep when your lo is asleep. Stuff the house work etc. If your lo is hard to get to sleep, lie down with her. Also are you co-sleeping. This can help with both your sleeping as you don't need to do much to feed her in the night. Hope you get some more ideas soon....

Veggy I feel for you, my DD used to wake every 2 hours at night and snack all day (never feeding for more than 1 or 2 mins in the day). I managed to get a bit more in her in the day by feeding her when she woke up and was relaxed or if that failed, feeding her when she was sleepy This meant she started waking every 3 hours instead (not great but better). I too sleep badly at night as I feel under pressure to get as much sleep as possible and therefore can't relax enough to drop off I survive because DP lets me sleep loads at weekends.

If you do have a forceful let-down then she will learn to cope better with it pretty soon I'm sure - it was about 3-4 months before DD stopped coughing and spluttering at every feed.

Is there anyone who can help you a bit during the day? If there is you could try expressing and feeding her from a bottle once or twice a day.

I hope this is of some help to you.

big sympathy to you veggy..
i think you have probably worked out that your LO is confusing day with night - this happened at first with my ds, i am afraid i can't remember how we solved it even though it wasn't that long ago - but i think getting back into a routine was the way ahead. The Baby Whisperer had some good words to say on this but i know you prob don't have a minute to sit and read!! Try posting on the feeding section, you might get more responses..all the best.
p.s. if you have a partner, can your partner do anything to help?? Will your LO take from a bottle? You need sleep to help you think straight... bless you.

thanks all for the tips.
my partner does a last feed from a bottle - she'll only take about 0mls. he's also offered to do other feeds before 4am, so maybe that will help.
and you're right i think i need to get some sort of routine back. right now she's in her second hour of a morning nap which used to be 45 mins. urgh, hate waking her!
x

sorry, meant to read, 80mls from a bottle, not 0!

What position are you in when she is feeding at night? Are you lying down? Could you try that during the day?

I would try and feed her at least 3 hourly during the day till you get her back on track.