Bedtime routine help (8 months)

[thingybobwotsit]

The last couple of weeks my 8mo has been getting increasingly wound up and screamy at bedtime. I can't work out if it's separation anxiety or if we need to switch his routine up - any tips on what others are doing to create a calm bedtime at this age would be great! I'd love to get back to him enjoying bedtime again and it being a bit less traumatic for everyone.

We've done the same routine since he was around 3 months. Bath, into his room with lights dimmed and lullaby playing, where he's dried off and got into nappy, pjs and sleeping bag, has a story and then a bottle (breastfed the rest of the time) and then is held until he's pretty much asleep and transferred to cot.

He's ok in the bath, but seems to hate being put into his nappy and pjs - he screams and cries and tries to squirm away (he's cruising at the moment and never stays still). He then grumbles or full on cries all through a story, we often give up these days and move straight onto bottle. Sometimes he'll then settle without too much fuss, but often does cry while he's settling down to sleep.

My husband does bedtime, and has done since he was around 6 months. Baby is marginally calmer if I stay in the room but constantly tries to climb on me and cling onto me - which is why I'm wondering if it's separation anxiety? What's the best way to manage this?

Baby is on 2 naps, with around 4hrs before bedtime. He generally has around 3hrs of daytime sleep, and is up around 3 times in the night for feeds / needing to be resettled

Could he be overtired? We had issues like this when DS was 7 months ish, we added back in a 3.30nap (up at 4.15 and bed at 6.45) and bedtime became easy again.

We try to alternate bed times.
We do story before bath.
We have a fifteen minute limit on bath.
Trying to remember anything else lol. It might just be a lot going on at bedtime if he sleeps fine with less at nap times? Maybe more day sleep needed.

By alternate bed times I mean - mum one night then dad another etc

He sounds tired. My nearly 8 month old has started doing this about 6.45-7pm where he was always a 7.30-8pm kind of baby.
I think they’re probably using lots more energy and so will be becoming more tired.
When he does this I just take him into his dark room, put his white noise on, into his sleep bag with his muslin he likes to hold and give him a cuddle for a few mins to calm him and then down in his crib. He’s usually out for the count after a few mins.

Bath, dressed, feed? Not sure what else for that age.

Could he be overtired? Could you bring bedtime forward?

DCs bedtime routine starts at 6pm. We watch Clangers, Night Garden and Bedtime Story. I'll have run a bath and they go in at 7pm. 10 minutes tops in the bath, then bedroom for drying off, last feed, bum change, pjs. They have a nightlight, an Ewan and we listen to lullabies. As they get sleepier I phase out each until it's just Ewan.

They're currently asleep on me: I wait a good half hour then transfer into their own space (we're co-sleeping at the moment). DC is 6 months old & has at least 3 hours nap during the day, but they do like their sleep!

He naps at around 8.30/9 for about an hour to an hour and a half. Then again at about 1.30 for an hour and a half. For these we go into his room and put him in sleeping bag, read a story while his lullaby plays, and then held until he falls asleep. He just won't fall asleep any earlier at either naptime or bedtime - I've tried!

His dad is away next week so I guess I'll see if he settles any easier for me. We'll make sure bath time isn't too long and maybe play around with stripping things back a bit and switching up when we do the story, as I think he may just be hungry for his bottle then?

Thank you for the thoughts everyone!

DS is nine months and if he doesn't have a cat nap about dinner time he is just like this. Generally he has three naps - one at 10am, one at 2pm, a half hour nap about 4/5pm and then will go to bed peacefully about half 7. Now that I have realised the effect of he misses that last nap I usually take him out in the buggy or for a drive to make sure it happens!

He does sound overtired but also, I'd recommend putting him down whilst he's still awake. I know it sounds counter productive and it's going to mean he is upset and has to adjust but it could be that he is reliant on being held to soothe. It could also be why he wakes in the night as he needs soothing and isn't great at self-soothing. I can't recommend a comforter enough. My son used to have a dummy but we didn't want him to use it past one due to his teeth and he replaced it with a comforter. It did wonders for his self-soothing.

In terms of tiredness it all depends on your baby but my little ones routine at 8 months was a little like this:

7am up, 10am nap until 11:30
2:30pm nap until 4pm
Bed at 7

So his stretches of awake time were 3 hours which worked for him but obviously every little one is different and it's a case of working out what will work for your son.

Good luck

Do I need to shorten his earlier naps to fit a later one in? As he doesn't wake until 3 from his lunchtime nap, I'm not sure how I could fit another one in. Should I try limiting the earlier naps to an hour each to see if I can fit another one in to tide us over to bedtime?

Although thinking about it a few times this week he's gone down for his afternoon nap a bit later and woken closer to 4, and then been an absolute nightmare to get down at 7-ish so I'd be worried that a later nap would just push bedtime even later!

Don't you wish babies came with instruction manuals?!

I'd happily labour for a further hour for an instruction manual

Honestly the only way I ever set a nap time routine in the first place and adjusted it was by watching DS and noting when he was getting tired, when I could push it a further half hour etc. It did mean deviating from routine slightly for a few days but it lead to a routine that worked for my baby which lets face it is the only type of routine that's going to work

If he's cranky, whingy or obviously visibly tired, he's ready for a nap. How long he naps is obviously down to him. Sleep breeds sleep with infants so it's better for his nighttime sleep to have more daytime sleep if that makes sense. 3 hours is generally enough time for them to become tired but obviously all babies are different. If he's particularly restless at bedtime though it does sound that he's overtired rather than not tired enough.

Very difficult to navigate sleep with little ones but the only advice I can give you is to watch your little one and take your cues from him.

There's a regression between 8 and 10 months

Thanks for all the advice @beccii161016. We'd settled into a 2/3/4 routine at around 6.5 months and things felt a lot more manageable, but maybe now he's cruising around things do need tweaking again.

He hasn't fallen asleep independently since he was about 3 weeks old and doesn't have very clear sleep cues. I've tried putting him down awake, but now he's more mobile he just leaps up and starts bouncing around at the cot bar unless he's pretty much asleep! I'm not sure how to change it without distressing him as he does get so wound up but I do think it would help if he could self settle and get a better nights sleep.

He does have a dummy and a comforter things which he has with him while he goes to sleep, but they don't seem to help much in the night.