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Returned to work and baby is back to all-night feeding. HELP ME!

4 replies

KikiA · 16/09/2018 08:43

I started back at work last week (LO is 12 months) and am still breastfeeding so expressing at work. He has settled fairly well at nursery although he goes into meltdown the moment he clocks us when we arrive to pick him up.

We finally managed to get him sleeping in his cot when he was about 10 months from about 7pm - 6am, at which point he'd wake up and come into bed for a feed and maybe sleep another hour or so. All good. Then I started back at work and it's all gone to shit. I'm exhausted and have returned on a full-time basis, and I work in client services so there is literally no room for errors.

He hasn't been drinking much of his expressed milk at nursery, probably due to the fact that it's a highly stimulating environment and he is, like most babies, prone to distraction. At first I thought "Oh god, it looks like he's reverse cycling.", but despite feeding relentlessly through the day this weekend, he hasn't resumed normal sleep in his cot and we are back to bed sharing and all-night feeding. I should say he is poorly at the moment, but then he's been poorly before without this level of disruption to normal sleep routine. On Friday, instead of saving the milk I had expressed for Monday, I gave it to him and he completely drained the full 6oz in a matter of minutes and STILL woke a short time later to come into bed and feed all night.

So, I guess my questions are as follows: if this happened to you, how long did it last? Aside from starting nursery and the other various bits I've mentioned, could there be anything else at play? What is the best course of action to remedy the situation? Any other useful experiences you could share?

Thanks in advance,
A severely drained and desperate mother 😔

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
crazycatlady5 · 16/09/2018 15:52

It’s hard but he is reverse cycling because he is now away from you during the day, breastfeeding is about comfort and not just milk as I am sure you know so he’s trying to reconnect with you during the night. I personally would embrace cosleeping OR get a floor bed instead of a cot so you can join him in his room from first night waking.

StinkySaurus · 16/09/2018 19:19

Cake and lots of Brew for you OP. Sorry I don’t have any advice as I’m not back at work yet but will be soon... so @crazycatlady how lon g does reserve cycling last for you? Or does it last for as long as you breastfeed and are working?

KikiA · 16/09/2018 21:00

Thanks for the replies... well we did cosleep from birth and he's still in our room as we are currently stuck in a one bed until we complete on our property.

The main issue is that I don't really sleep well with him in the bed (I'm a light sleeper) and I find it enormously uncomfortable because he's a fidget (gets it from me), so he will wriggle right up into my armpit meaning I have to move him, he wakes and so the feeding/comfort nursing is non-stop. He will come off the boob but the moment he realises it's not there, he starts rooting around for it again.

By some divine intervention after I was on my knees with tiredness because he was waking me up every 20-30 minutes, I managed to break that cycle (used little head and face strokes until he just started putting himself down) and he has, until now, slept really well. I just can't go back to what it was before. There is no way in hell I can do my job on such severely broken sleep. How do I deal with it while trying to ensure his need for comfort is met? I miss him terribly while I'm at work, but not going to work is just not an option for me... so I'm in a bit of a pickle 😔

OP posts:
crazycatlady5 · 16/09/2018 21:05

Ahh OP 😔 you’re doing your best. You need to work for your family. He’ll soon be so settled in nursery and it will feel like a distant memory. It sounds like you’ve found a great way to settle him sometimes without feeding. In terms of comforting him when he’s not at nursery I’m sure you do an amazing job but just reconnect lots during dinner/bedtime routine and lots on the weekend. It will be fine and it sounds like you’re doing brilliantly x

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