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16 month old crap sleeper

4 replies

milknapplayrepeat · 15/09/2018 12:23

Having a bit of an ‘end of my tether’ moment so hoping a vent on here and some advice from other mums will help... ☹️

My DD is 16 months and has never been a good sleeper. She’s never consistently slept through, we have had the odd night here and there but it never lasts. Up until 10 months she was queen of the 30-40 minute nap as well. They did extend for a few months, an hour or so in the morning and again in the afternoon, but that’s out the window now and we’re back to the crap naps again.

She still has 1-2 bottles during the night. I know this needs to stop but she’s a small thing (20lbs at 15 months) and she’s an incredibly fussy eater / eats like a sparrow so I’ve just never felt comfortable depriving her. Also I know if she has the milk she’ll settle and, quite frankly, I’m a coward when it comes to her crying.

Her current routine goes something like this:

6:30-7am - wake up
8am - breakfast
10:30-11am - nap #1
12:30pm - lunch
2:30-3pm - nap #2
5pm - dinner
7pm - bath, bottle, bed
11pm-midnight ish - wakes up, bottle and back down
2-3am ish - wakes up, bottle and back down
5am - wakes up, sometimes self settles but if not then offered water and back down

Couple of other things to note:

  • She is able to self-settle. At naps and at bedtime, I put her down in the crib awake and she has a Ewan sheep thing. She’ll rumble around for a bit but is normally asleep or nearly asleep before Ewan turns off. This is partly what frustrates me as I know she can put herself to sleep, she’s proven she can do it.
  • She’ll only be comforted by me, just cries more if DH goes in. Ever since he worked away Monday-Friday for a few months when she was younger, she stopped settling for him. He tries but it never works.
  • We’ve just got back from a fortnight in Florida and due to jetlag etc I think she’s got used to having multiple bottles overnight again (I just fed her whenever she woke up after the flights because she was jetlagged and so was I and it got everyone the most sleep...).
  • She has one molar through and two more pushing out currently.

Basically, I know I’ve established bad habits. I just don’t know how to break them / worry I don’t have the courage to do it. Equally, I don’t think I can take much more of this. I daydream about the day she consistently sleeps through the night but right now I wonder if we’ll ever get there. I love her to pieces and she’s a happy, gorgeous girl but she’s so much happier after a rare long nap or long block of overnight sleep.

Sorry this is so long and rambley. She had me up every 1-2 hours last night, which is what pushed me to post this, so my brain is a bit all over the show today. Any tips or advice much appreciated. Even just solidarity at this point. Feeling like everyone else’s baby is blissfully sleeping by this age and I’m doing something v wrong so that’s why mine isn’t!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
crazycatlady5 · 15/09/2018 14:09

I don’t think you have created bad habits at all tbh I just think some kids sleep theough earlier than others. Mine is 19 months and just started to sleep through quite regularly but still wakes a few times a week a lot in the night. She’ll get there don’t worry x

pandabear13 · 15/09/2018 14:15

My daughter is 17 months and we have had near enough an identical situation to what you have described until about a month ago.

My dd got herself to sleep perfectly at night but would wake numerous times through the night for milk and that was the only way to get her back to sleep.

The past few weeks we have made some major changes because we were getting to breaking point with exhaustion and like you my daughter will only settle for me and not my husband so it's so tiring.

After months of putting it off as I was too scared of her crying especially in the night I stopped giving her milk in the night and went cold turkey. The first night she woke up and protested for a while before going back to sleep. It was stressful but was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. The second night she woke up again but got back to sleep much faster and by the third night she didn't wake up and slept through the night.

You could maybe try reducing the amount of milk you give her each night but I found when we tried that that she just kept waking up for it anyway and it didn't make much difference.

I was so scared to make the changes but I am honestly so so glad we did as we are all getting much more sleep and my DD is better rested too. I think the problem was that she didn't know how to get herself back to sleep without milk.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I know how tiring and stressful it is having a bad sleeper!

Nektaria · 16/09/2018 11:00

Hey guys.
I'm having a similar problem with my 16 month old too. He goes down for the night like a dream but can wake anywhere between 2 am and 5am for milk, once sometimes twice.
I was actually going to post about this today cause I'm so fed up - I've even resorted to rocking him in the buggy on nights where he point blank refuses to go back to bed after his milkConfused
I want to do what pandabear said and just go cold turkey because we can't go on like this! But I think I'm too much of a wimpBlush
Somethings got to give though, and I know exactly how it feels OP, you're not alone!

milknapplayrepeat · 18/09/2018 18:47

Just wanted to say a big thank you for the replies, they mean a lot and have definitely been a comfort to me during the night feeds. I’ve been so bogged down in worrying I’ve set bad habits and that I’m to blame. I feel better just knowing I’m a) not alone and b) others have been in the same position and worked their way out of it!

Obviously she’s now poorly (viral ear infection, yay!) so we’re now getting absolute zero sleep but when she’s better I’m definitely going to try what you suggest, @pandabear13. Wish me luck!

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