How do you convince your kids that dreams are not real?

[MaureenMLove]

DD (11) has just woken up crying that she's had 'that' dream again. Every now and then she has a nightmare where a man gives people disease. She apparently sees a shadow of a man and then he touches people, who then get something nasty. I wish I knew why she keeps getting them. She is blessed in that no-one close to her at all has got or had a disease, although both me & dh have been in hospital for pretty major ops in her short life, but mine was 4 years ago and dh's was last year but she understood and coped really well with that. I don't know how to convince her that everyone is fine. Obviously I can't give cast iron guarantees, but you don't tell an 11 year that do you? She doesn't want to go back to sleep now.

I think something practical (in as far as dreams are!) may be required.

At 11, she is probably old enough to deal with a well-written, targeted book about dream interpretation.

Whether or not you or I or the wider world in general believes in dream interpretation, it will at least suggest to her that dreams are symbolic of something else, and that lots of people have them, and that lots of people try to interpret them.

I hope that makes sense.

Maybe someone here can advice the book that's suitable for her age - if not, perhaps a trip to Waterstones at the Weekend, with her.

Thanks, bit scared to discover what this one does mean tbh, but I think you're right! I've sent her back up to my bed and told her to get something funny in her head. Imagine the man with a silly hat on and handbag or on roller skates! I'm gonna have a bit of a google I think!

It's difficult. At 11, she's on the cusp of adolescence. There are lots of things swirling around in her lovely little head, forming dreams at night-time.

Repetitive dreams begin at about this time ... I've had one for the last 30 years.

But I do think you need to 'big it up' rather than brush it away. It's obviously upsetting her, and it's upsetting you - so face your fears and investigate it. Have fun doing it together.

For what it's worth, I wouldn't necessarily believe in dream interpretation - by I do believe that facing the dream/nightmare head on will go someway to diminishing its effects.

Good luck!

Thanks hun! I think thats just what it is - a whole load of raging hormones working overtime. I must say, 2 year old tamtrums have got nothing on this age, but we'll keep telling them it gets easier eh!

I tell my 6 year old that its like a TV in her head and that mostly its nice things but sometimes scary things come on too.

We even have a ritual off turning off the 'bad telly' like a button on the side of her head but obviously that doesn't stop her having bad dreams sometimes. Think its more of a reassurance