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12 week old dummy dependancy

8 replies

MeadowHay · 12/09/2018 21:45

So baby is 12 weeks and clearly starting to develop a real dummy dependency. She is quite a cry-y baby and suffers from problems with wind when we're not up-to-date with the Infacol and is particularly cry-y then. She's not as bad as say the first 7 weeks or so but still cries quite a lot. She is also really sucky although this is our first so I dunno if it's more than other babies or the same. When I was EBF she was almost always fed to sleep, now she's formula fed and almost always needs the dummy to fall asleep. Sometimes she is fed to sleep still but then on those occasions she usually wakes up in a panic once I place her down in her bed and will only settle again with the dummy. She has slept through most nights from being about 8 weeks old but the last week or so has started waking once or twice in the night and goes back to sleep again with the dummy, which is grim for us although I do realise how lucky we've been to have the uninterrupted sleep for a few weeks!

Is there anything we can do to wean her off the dummy without making her distressed but also not substituting the dummy for her fingers? Without the dummy she tries to suck her fist/first finger and it is actually a bit red and sore today from me letting her do it more yesterday whereas normally I'm more proactive in stopping her. The only reason I don't like her having it is because of needing to wake up multiple times in the night/her not being able to sleep properly or have long naps in the daytime without someone needing to put the dummy back in, I know that once she's big enough to do it herself it won't be a problem but I'm guessing that won't be for a good few months yet?

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Rtmhwales · 12/09/2018 21:47

If she likes to suck to sleep, I’d just stay with the dummy and see how long it takes her to go back to her previous sleep habits honestly. But that’s because I hate finger sucking so I wouldn’t be willing to risk that starting up. So hard to break that habit.

SinkGirl · 12/09/2018 21:49

Honestly? It works to help her sleep now so I wouldn’t be trying to get rid of it! My twins rejected dummies after they came out of nicu - the only way to get them back to sleep was to feed them, which is a lot more hassle than putting a dummy back in. I know the sleep deprivation is really hard but it’s pretty inevitable sadly at this stage!

When you bottle feed to sleep, do you wait a while to lay them back down? I used to wait until they were in a deeper sleep to move them.

InDubiousBattle · 12/09/2018 21:50

I would persevere with the dummy tbh, especially if you think she will find her thumb in its place. Once or twice a night waking to replace a dummy is obviously not as good as sleeping through but still pretty good for such a young baby!

MeadowHay · 12/09/2018 22:00

Honestly I know I probably sound unreasonable and super priviliged and I'm a bit embarrassed to have even posted this because I fully appreciate how she is a really good sleeper for her age and always has been since birth tbh. I've seen many threads on here of babies who are much older than DD and wake much more frequently etc so I do appreciate that we are super lucky and my dilemma comes from a big place of sleep-privilege!

I guess I'm mostly anxious that it will get worse than now, as now is tolerable - I saw threads when I was Google searching of babies waking hourly all night for dummy etc and that thought is terrifying!

When can babies put the dummy back in themselves? Grin

OP posts:
MLTS · 12/09/2018 22:03

I'd say just let her have comfort with it as long as she needs it.

InDubiousBattle · 12/09/2018 22:23

My two could re insert by 6-7 months I think. I used to load the cot with the glow in the dark ones. You can also buy comforters that you can velcro them to I think.

fabulous01 · 12/09/2018 22:41

A dummy is fantastic for babies with wind and reflux .....

dlnex · 12/09/2018 22:47

Hi, there are dummy clips on the market, which help, as does a spare in the cot. I can't remember when DD was able to put hers back in. If dummys were really that terrible for babies they would not be on the market. Babies and young children are hard work, and noisy for a long time - if using the dummy is keeping you sane, then please keep using it. It's something about being a mum, that most things come with a guilt trip attached, dummys included.

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