Need 7 month old ds to sleep without a breastfeed

[Prusik]

I'm really feeling like I've messed up here. Ds2 won't take a bottle. He'll drink a couple of sips from an open cup. We've been trying for weeks the 360 before bed but he's still breastfed laying down on his mattress on the floor.

I'm back at work now and we still have nothing established. I work 5pm-8pm four evenings. Today I only worked an hour. Got back to ds2 screaming for a feed/bed and ds1 screaming in his cot because ds2 had woken him despite white noise

How the hell do we do this? Dh only has so much time to commit as he works full time and is also studying an intense part time uni course.

Well your DH is going to have to try something isn't he. I doubt he can study while two kids are screaming....

Baby wearing? In the car then transfer? PRam?

And 7 mo is VERY young to not need BF to sleep if that's what works for them.

Ooh. Tough one. I think you basically have 3 options.

Firstly, either for DH at pram/ car him to sleep then transfer him to bed like PP suggested - or leave him to sleep in the pram (if you can get the pram inside your house) til you come home and transfer him, with a feed if necessary, to his bed. The downside of that is he may get very used to be driven/pushed in order to fall asleep. And he will probably get used to re-waking for the feed.

Alternatively, your DH could try some form of controlled crying. There are so many ways of doing it. Obviously, it's not for everyone, and it depends whether you and your DH re up for it at all. But if done gently and consistently (eg, you don't have to leave him alone, DH can be there rubbing his back, singing etc) it can yeild amazing results very quickly. The downside of that - well , plenty of people on here will be eager to tell you that.

Or you somehow find a way to be there for his bedtime - going to work earlier or later and/or moving his bedtime earlier or later or just delaying starting work for a few more months.

Good luck.

@arbrighton this is my issue. It's working well what we're doing it has to come to an end. I think developmentally he's too young but it's kind of tough luck.

I'm at the mercy of DH being a low earner so have to work. I can earn in two hours what DH earns in a day but my work is limited to evenings only and isn't fixed income as I'm sef employed.

He's not complaining about having both boys in the evening. He'll just study when I get home. Unfortunately there's no flex on my hours. Although I could choose to do less I'd rather be able to eat

I think he's planning on just laying down with him until he falls asleep. He will sleep in the pram or car but that isn't so easy with a toddler in bed and I'd rather he had physical contact if he's distressed.

I guess I'm stressing about it. Knowing that my going out is going to cause my baby to suffer is a really horrible feeling. Dh luckily takes it in his stride

Sorry, i phrased it badly and can only blame being a bit anxious as it was DS first day at nursery.

I can totally understand the stressing and the need to be able to survive financially but I think you'll find your DS2 realises milk is not available and will go to sleep. Or you tweak bedtime to your return from work- our DS rarely goes to bed before 8pm as it just takes that long for him to settle (he doesn't often feed to sleep anymore, at 14 mo)

@arbrighton please don't apologise how did nursery go? Ds1 has his first day of preschool in Jan and I won't lie, I'm nervous!

Dh lay with ds2 on the living room floor as to avoid disturbing ds1 this evening. Took 20 minutes of crying but he fell asleep for about 90 minutes. Thank Christ I wasn't there to hear it but he did it! Then woke just as I got in from work so I fed and put him to bed.

A good start

Will he take the bottle while lying down?

What bottles have you tried?

I EBF but for the odd times husband has had to feed her, ive expressed/used formula and hes given it in the Comotomo bottle. Its silicon and squeezy so feels just like a breast.

We used to do the bottle laying down for ds1. Worked really well. We've only tried a tommee tippee one but can't keep throwing money at bottles. We really don't have the spare cash.

I know I sound defeatist.

I bought a free flow sipper yesterday and he drank a little from that yesterday.

First day went surprisingly well, thanks for asking! A few tears on drop off but ate everything and slept 2 hours. Happy on pick up but also knackered!

He's got a stinking cold so tomorrow may be less so.

@arbrighton a great start! Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

Day 2 went well..only five minutes crying. He slept for an hour and woke wanting me but I think that's a success. I'm not working tomorrow evening but DH is going to put him to bed anyway.

He also bathed the boys together for the first time and the toddler decided to poo in the bath so he had to wash both boys again and clean the bath!

Sounds like it's gone as well as you could probably hope. I'm just hoping DS sleeps more soundly now his cough is calming down and is ok to go tomorrow

@Prusik - have you tried heating the milk up? Worked for my non-bottle drunker around the 7 Month Mark. She didn't like it warm, but hot (obviously tested and shaken)!