How to handle bedtime with 2 1/2 yr old and 3 month old

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As per the title, really. Firstly, at 16 weeks, does your little one have a proper bedtime? Mine currently falls asleep on me on the sofa, I transfer to the Moses basket and goes up when I do.
Secondly, how on earth do you do bedtime with a 2 year old and 3 month old? 3 month old dd2 currently goes in Moses basket and I carry her from room to room while doing 2 1/2 year old dd1's bedtime routine. She often cries through most of it and it's awful.
Any ideas?

Sorry I can't offer advice but I'm due my 2nd any time with a 2 year old so I'm hoping to bump this and read the advice you get as I'm wondering the same thing

I don’t have any experience but could you maybe put the baby into a sling while you did the 2 year olds bed time? Being close to you and almost getting a hug might make the baby more settled.

If your breastfeeding, with a bit of practice, you might be able to feed in the sling too

I used to put baby in a sling and get toddler ready like that. Couldn’t quite manage a bath though as lifting in and out is tricky with baby strapped on but could do everything else, into pjs, stories etc. Baby usually fell asleep like that.

Thank you all for the replies. At 3 months, did your little ones have a proper bedtime yet or did they go to bed when you did?

At 3 months my baby did have a routine, but I only had one baby and the routine was more for me as my partner works long hours. I don’t think the baby registered it really! And it would start with a bath etc at aroun 6.30 but then they would cluster feed till 10.30 so it wasn’t particularly effective!

So don’t worry about having a routine unless you need it, I don’t think the baby needs it.

I would do dinner at 5pm for the toddler with baby sitting in a reclining high chair and toddler entertaining him while eating. Show the baby how you eat your peas etc.

Then a quick 20 min TV program while I cleaned up the dinner mess and got the bath stuff ready. Baby in a boucy chair with toddler on the sofa and me popping in and out.

Then bath for both, toddler in first, soaped and rinsed, then baby in the other end while toddler plays. Baby out onto a towel on the floor, dried nappy and jammies. Then toddler out onto a towel on the other side of me (so they couldnt prance into the baby) dried, nappy and jammies
Then teeth with baby held up to bounce on the counter and looking in the mirror, show the baby how you clean your teeth.
Then into toddlers room for a story and kisses at about 6.30. Then toddler gets tucked up with a nursery rhyme song playing and I nip next door to feed the baby in their bedroom, then if the baby looks like he will go down, in the cot for the night with the monitor on. If he is too jazzy, then back downstairs with me and into the moses basket to chill.

Then pop back into to check on sleeping/sleepy toddler, one more kiss or just turn off the music and a tuck.
Back downstairs to have some dinner for me (and a glass of wine)
I have 4 dc, so its all about having a routine, keeping them all moving, having eyes in the back of your head (and ears that go round corners!) being organized and NEVER deviating from the routine unless its a special occasion as if it is always the same, they will just move along as expected

I have a 3 month old and a 20 month old. The 20 month old has a bedtime routine (that started when they were around 6 months old) that just continued as normal once the new baby arrived. I think that's been really key to the whole thing working - keeping DC1s routine in place and sticking to it as far as possible so they feel secure and in control.

Sometimes if the baby is wide awake they will share a bath with DC1 but otherwise I try and make sure the baby is fed and settled in one way or another before I attempt the bedtime routine and try and prioritise DC1 for that period of time.

I start planning a 6.45 bedtime for DC1 at around 5.30pm - while they are eating their tea I feed and wind the baby, and get pyjamas etc ready for DC1. at 6pm ish they get in the bath for 20 mins or so (including teeth brushing) then out, pyjamas on and downstairs to watch a little bit of in the night garden. I use this time to feed/resettle the baby again if needed or to start mine and DPs supper and then DC1 goes to bed.

My 3 month old is either usually asleep in the sling on me /bouncer downstairs if I'm lucky, or wide awake either happily gurgling at the tv or sometimes will start crying for a minute or two while I put the DC1 to bed. I certainly wouldn't contemplate taking the crying baby with me into the 20 month olds room as I was tucking them in as it would just upset the DC1 unnecessarily.

I'm perhaps fortunate that DC1 (for the time being) loves going to bed and at the moment rarely kicks up a fuss and goes straight to sleep so it only takes a couple of minutes if I do need to leave the baby.

Most of the time the sling is crucial, it keeps the baby calm and I basically crack on with DC1 as DC2 isn't there. DC2 gets their time with me in the evenings before I go to bed.

Re: bedtime - both my babies sort of 'chose' their bedtime themselves when they got to about three months old - they just started to get tired at around 8pm and then do a long sleep rather than a nap, so I went with it, and gradually brought it earlier as needed.

When my second child (now 7 months) was that age, she was going to bed after the toddler, so about 8.30ish (toddler in bed at 8). She would just come with us as I did my son's bedtime routine, but she wasn't generally crying I think and seemed to enjoy it (funny how quickly you forget!). She absolutely loves the bath so that helps. They had a bath together, with the baby in a bath seat, and then we'd all do a book together. I'd then leave her downstairs in my bedroom in a bouncy chair while I actually put my son into bed, which is quite a quick process. If she cried I left her to it, it was only a few mins. I found a dummy invaluable though if she did get grumpy, I'm not sure how I'd have coped without it!

Now, she goes to bed before my son - he's dropped his nap so goes to bed much earlier than previously, around 7.15, and now she's just on two naps a day, she's generally in bed by 6.45. He watches a bit of TV while I give her a bath and put her to bed (30 mins tops), then I bathe him and put him to bed. This is just what works for us - some people may find it easier to bathe them together. In due course I think I'll probably do them both together but I quite like a bit of individual time with both of them and it's calmer.

If she's crying for most of the routine, is she tired / hungry? If tired, could you try putting her to bed before the toddler, while they watch a bit of TV. If hungry, could you get in a feed somewhere eg during story to tide her over till bedtime? And if just wants cuddles a sling as suggested above could work. Maybe try a few different things and see what works best, then stick to it.

I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old.
Up until recently I had baby in a sling/bouncer and kept toddlers bedtime routine the same as before baby was born (dinner, bath, book, bed) and baby followed along in sling/bouncer and stayed with me until I went to bed and we co slept quite a lot.
Now baby is 6 months, toddlers bedtime remains unchanged but the baby now joins in. Sits up for a dinner (baby lead weaning) bath, book and bed and attempting to keep baby in his cot all night with no more co sleeping (a while other thread!)
Due to my husbands shifts I do bedtime by myself 99% of the time. In the early days it was very difficult. Now they are on the same routine it's much easier. Good luck